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heartbroken...but oddly not surprised

I would have had his bags packed waiting for him by the door. I have zero sympathy nor understanding for cheaters. this isn't a one time "I got drunk and one thing lead to another" cheating. This was planned, hidden and not meant for you to find out about. in my book what he did is unforgivable. I've been cheated on and it's a terrible thing to find out. you trust and love that person and they repeatedly betray that trust. if you choose to forgive him and continue the relationship are you prepared to be wondering where he is, whom he's with, and what they're doing? those thoughts are going to be there. I couldn't live like that. the track record for many cheaters isnt very good. of course there are acceptions. I just couldn't take that chance. his actions have spoken pretty clear. the last straw was sleeping with the bf in your house after being caught. that's pretty fucking low. the bf should have gone to a hotel and your partner taken the couch. they didn't have any respect for you what so ever. that spoke volumes to me. whatever you decide I wish you the best. you know what my decision would be.

Steven
 
He shared a bed with the man in your home? When there is no respect, no trust, what do you have? Despite what the songs say, love is not always enough. So, I disagree with those who say you can't throw 13 years away. You have not done that, anyway....he has.

Could you forgive? Probably. Will he stop hurting you? Doubtful.
 
He is a liar and a cheat, no need to sugar coat it. He intentionally betrayed you and your trust, repeatedly. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for "snooping" because when your senses tell you something is up and you feel the need to investigate, you need to protect yourself and find out what is going on.

I'm sorry to say it but I think it's time you move on from him. I know it's difficult but you deserve much better than lies and cheating. Don't compromise yourself and be treated like this. The day will come when he realizes how stupid he was, but that's on no one but him. Hugs buddy.
 
People cheat for various reasons, and since he's not in here to explain himself, no on in here has any clue what he's thinking and why he did what he did. Some people forgive and go on, some leave, people have just as many various reasons for doing those things as well.

In regards to snooping - in addition to making you pitiful, it's inherently dishonest, and it will backfire on you. You will never learn anything but bad news - and if you learn nothing, that isn't proof of fidelity.

Frankly, I can live with a guy who's a horny fuck with poor impulse control, that I understand, but I wouldn't stay with a guy who was having a romantic relationship with someone else. My elasticity only goes so far.
 
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