Heartbroken how

[Bookreader85]

Long story short, my heart is breaking. I’m gay, and I thought I met someone special. We became close very quickly, and I thought we were moving to the next level.

But one day, he told me he’s straight. He apologized for playing with my emotions, saying he didn’t mean to and thought we were on the same page—he was just curious. What’s confusing is that I saw a post he made back in March saying that being bisexual was annoying.

We’re still friends, but I can’t get over him or what we shared. I truly thought I had found the one. He was the first person to make me feel loved and supported in a way I’ve never felt before.

It’s been three months, and my heart still breaks. I even went out and hooked up with someone, thinking it would help me move on, but the whole time I just wished it was him.

How do I let go and heal from this?

 

[KaraBulut]

First, welcome to JUB and congrats on your first post.

The missing piece of the story - "what we shared" and "close very quickly". Was this a physical relationship? Was it just emotional? Was it an online relationship or an in-person relationship?

The reason that these questions might be relevant is that online relationships tend to have more confusion and misunderstanding because of the nature of the communication. On the other hand, if this was an in-person physical relationship then it does make less likely that this was a just a misunderstanding.

If this "friendship" is proving painful for you, then it might be time to let it go. It's hard to continue a friendship when there's a past of misunderstanding or deception. The person that you thought that you were getting involved with was not the person he turned out to be. If you need time to heal and move on, it might be better if you put some distance between you and this guy.

The rest of healing is a matter of time.

It doesn't completely go away but the day will come when you remember it less and when you do, it is less of a painful memory.

 

[Bookreader85]

It was Physical and emotional and I still see him Every day he's my upstairs neighbor.

 

[TX-Beau]

How do you get over this? Time and distance. There's no guy in here that hasn't fallen for a straight guy at some point. There is no magic pill, just stay away, and let it heal. You don't have to see him all the time, even if he lives upstairs. If you're inventing reasons why it's impossible to stay away, the problem isnt that it's impossible, it's that you don't want to. Which is understandable, but the longer you do that, the longer it will take, and the greater the opportunity that you develop a neurosis about it. Yes this is painfull, but it's also common. Chances are you're going to be in this position again sometime, so best let yourself learn how to deal with it now.

Time, and distance.

 

[KaraBulut]

It was Physical and emotional and I still see him Every day he's my upstairs neighbor.

This is a really bad situation. Even if you were still dating, having him as an upstairs neighbor is still too close for comfort.

There's not really a way to get around the "He kind of used you" theme to the history here. It might have been easier to excuse if all the facts were on the table and you knew that this was all part of his "curiosity". But he didn't state this up front and if this relationship moved into the physical, then he went into it knowing something that you didn't know.

Time, and distance.

Time is a given. If he's your upstairs neighbor, then you do need to give some thought to creating distance so that you don't have to see him.

This guy lied by omission. The big question, "Why would you want someone like this as a friend?".

 

[Pickwick]

Long story short, my heart is breaking. I’m gay, and I thought I met someone special. We became close very quickly, and I thought we were moving to the next level.

But one day, he told me he’s straight. He apologized for playing with my emotions, saying he didn’t mean to and thought we were on the same page—he was just curious. What’s confusing is that I saw a post he made back in March saying that being bisexual was annoying.

We’re still friends, but I can’t get over him or what we shared. I truly thought I had found the one. He was the first person to make me feel loved and supported in a way I’ve never felt before.

It’s been three months, and my heart still breaks. I even went out and hooked up with someone, thinking it would help me move on, but the whole time I just wished it was him.

How do I let go and heal from this?

I feel you. What I’ve learned from experience is that you need not to wait for anything from him. Because it is going to put you in a position where you’ll be in demand and that makes you vulnerable. It also prevents you from living other experiences with people that are clear to themselves and know what they want.
That said I’m kinda in a “do what I say but not what I do” situation here.

 

[frankifab]

Since he is your neighbour I would say create a boundary . Ignore him as if he had never existed in your life ... it will feel very odd at the beginning ( it's hapopened to me with a confused straight "neighbour" who lived 6 blocks away from my place ) It's been almost 10 years and I still kinda think about the brief moments we shared riding our bikes into the countryside , laying in the woods together starring at the moon and getting blazed up and stuff , he knew I was gay but he seeked my company anyway .... so when we split up , we would see eachotther by casualty on the streets and he would ignore me , and I had to ignore him back for a few years , I dont see him anymore as I believe he no longer lives there . About your case , as I said create a boundary , and let time relieve your pain, and it will take years to soothe the heartache , it's not that easy .... I know .... what I told happened to me in February 2015 , and it still kinda hurts but nobody is guaranteed to stick by your side , dont rely on any fella you get enthralled by ... everybody is a temporary guest in our life times