Hellfire - Merged Blog Posts

[Hellfire]

Isn't it lovely when your parents travel and you're left home alone for the weekend? I was gonna throw a party but then I decided the best party to be thrown would be with myself. So I popped in some Israeli music (at least I think Noa is from Israel...), lit up a vanilla incense and now I'm sitting here with the lights off enjoying a cigarette, playing with the dog and browsing this forum. And I still have my clothes on!

On a sidenote, my bastard boyfriend stood me up tonight. We were supposed to "meet" before the night was out but he left me waiting. I'm fuming, but I'm gonna wait till daylight comes before ranting endlessly. Enough of this random writing. An old episode of SNL is on and this Bill Brasky sketch really isn't funny.

 

[Hellfire]

I swear to God there are times in life when I'd prefer to be single again. My day barely started and it's already gone to the deep ends of hell because my boyfriend is a stupid control freak. "Why did you go to sleep so late?" "Who were you talking to?" "What forum?" "No, Ii'm nopt being obsessive. If you'd answered my question first time I asked we wouldn't be fighting. YOUR fault!" as though I'm forced to tell him about every single fucking thing I do. Little asshole.

Anyway, I gave my dog a bath last night but apparently he didn't dry up to well. He's kinda stinky. Took him to the beach this morning and all of a sudden it started raining and now he's wet again. I'm too lazy to get up and search for a towel to dry'im up, so he's gonna stay wet. I'll just spray perfume all over him and see where it goes from there.

Brazil beat Japan in over 50 points playing female basketball in the olympics today. I can't wait till we beat the Americans. *evil grins*

 

[Hellfire]

Good evening, lovely ones. Today was a day from hell. It rained all day long and it was cold as fuck. What does a lad do in such bleak times? Well, if that lad happens to me lil'old me, that lad goes shopping! and so i did. not much, i bought 3 dvds (for the price of 2, really good deal) and 2 blank cds: one to burn off the leftover porn i had in my hd, the other to make a random compilation music cd. no theme to this one. the films i bought are most delicious: Intolerable Cruelty (what is cruel is getting a foreigner to say the word 'intolerable' without stammering at least once!) with the delicious mr. Clooney and the absolutely incomparable ms. Zeta-Jones (I know she's technically mrs. Douglas now, but she'll always be ms. Sex On Legs to me. i swear to god i'd turn straight for that woman). choice #2 was Braveheart. i detest Mel Gibson but that film is awesome. and last but not least, this one was a tough call between 'Sum Of All Fears', 'Kiss The Girls', 'Die Hard' and 'Tomb Raider', but i ended up with the latter for a number of reasons. first cuz i already own TR2 and find it lovely, second cuz Angelina Jolie is the only other woman for whom i'd turn 150% heterosexual. i'm sure she has some butt plugs laying around the house so whenever i got lonely... you boys get the picture. had a nice time talking to my partner 'bout our moving in together plans and our vacation plans for september (he's flying south one more time) and that was pretty much it. my mother has returned home so no more sex party going on here. alas, life is not perfect.

 

[Hellfire]

Today I had a battle at work with 3 of my co-workers over music. It's incredible how that's the best way to find out if a person belongs to the same social circle of taste as you. Unfortunately, they don't. Two of them are really into country music (which me and another co-worker abhore) but one loves HipHop and the other likes creamy balladry a-la Celine Dion/Mariah Carey. they hate each other's taste in that aspect. My other co-worker and I are really into pop rock but he loves heavy metal, which i hate, and i love BritRock a-la Blur, Garbage, Kate Bush et al, which he doesn't even consider to be rock at all. I'm really into Aimee Mann and Tori Amos, but I was the only one who seemed to be familiar with them. One of the girls loves Madonna while the other chic is a Michael Jackson fan at heart. The other guy loves Nirvana but hates Hole, which i dig. We both kinda like Foo Fighters and he's a closet Jennifer Lopez fan while I openly dig Toni Braxton's stuff up to her 3rd album. So the question is: Does music really bring people together? Can a relationship survive the different musical affections?

I've been worrying 'bout that quite a bit lately, seeing as my partner and I are about to move in together later this year. I can't quite ship my blazin' stereo over the ocean and I really hate the stuff he likes. So our arrangement was: We're both gonna listen to nothing but discmans when the other one is home, in order to respect each other's space. Seems like a civilized solution to me, don't you think?

Today Brazil played Italy in the Olympics. Male Volleyball. Damn tough game, but we won 3x2. After the game ended our captain was telling off someone from the Italian team. When approached by one of our reporters about it he said: "They talk too much and play too little. Always losing... And you can be sure they're gonna keep losing!". Haha. Rock on. Tomorrow will be time for the ladies to beat the Italians to a pulp. Brrrrrring it on!

 

[Hellfire]

I was wondering about it lately... Is it just me or does it come a point in every relationship in which romance normally fades away and you're left with the ugly nasty skeleton of what sharing your life with somebody really is like? I mean, there are certain no instructions attached to the 'happily ever after'. Does that even exist? Living truly happily ever after? If someone out there reading this has achieved such outstanding feat, please forward the instructions manual to my inbox, it'd be much appreciated.

Or maybe things are different in long distance relationships? I don't know, all I know is that things between my partner and I haven't been what they used to be when we first began. I mean, I love him and I know that he loves me, I'm not questioning that, but other than trivial, daily e-mails and the automated "I love you"s at the end of each one of them, I haven't felt that special mmmph in a long while now. Not a phone call, not a special message, not anything out of the ordinary to make me feel special (God, i sound like a fucking girl). Is that the way things are supposed to be from now on? We've been together 3 years.

Dr. Phil, what do you think???

 

[Hellfire]

So I spent the last couple months moving away from home only to discover I wanted to move back in. Yea, call it childish, but not only did I miss my mom's cooking, but also realized I just couldn't afford living on my own for now. So it came down to either living on my own poorly or swallowing my pride and moving back home at least till I'm finished with college. As I don't wanna end up as some loser who barely finished high school, I chose option 2. Meanwhile, moving back home will also give me just enough money of my own to pay for my much anticipated car, so it ain't all bad. AND I got DSL here, which means I can download porn faster and make more juicy posts all over the forum.

 

[Hellfire]

Okay, I'm guessing all of you saw this under my avatar and decided to check what exactly i'm talking about... well, blogging is like therapy, but cheaper, so here comes the dirty stuff: I haven't had sex ever since my ex and I broke up. That's over a month already and when you consider he was never really big on sex (we had sex like, twice a week and it was same old same old, he wasn't very inventive) the abstinence period doubles. Seriously, I dreamt last night I was choking in my own sperm. From the inside. Cuz I have so much to let out and so little opportunity that it started accumulating and came all the way up to my nose drowning everything inside. It was really freaky, especially because I can't stand the taste of my own goo. So if you're into charity, I'm not really that bad looking and I do know some special tricks, so in case you're interested... HEEEEEEEEEELP!

 

[Hellfire]

I'm starting yet a new course at a local university this february. After having wasted an AMAZING amount of time trying to make impossible stuff work, I decided to get my shit together and apply for a test I didn't really expect to pass, but hey, I did! So as of february 14th i'm gonna be a student of the exquisite art of International Relations. i do hope this includes a lot of relations with a lot of international members of the course, if you catch my subtle innuendo. meanwhile, i'd like to thank JD for the suggestion, but i'm too poor to go to a bathhouse and i have no idea where you live. but hey, we can change that.

 

[Hellfire]

Now I have to be x-tra x-tra careful about what kind of shit i'll be writing this cuz i've noticed some people actually do read blogs!
anyhoo, i've just realized i've had enough of these vacations. what am i supposed to do until february 14? i can't stand going to the beach every single day anymore and yet i haven't got the cash to do anything else. am not dating anybody and everybody i want to be dating lives way too far from me. carnival is coming in a couple of weeks and i have no idea what it is that i'm gonna do...
guess all that's left for me is sit home and watch Charmed, Alias & Desperate Housewives till the time comes to go back to college and work. not that i mind that. i love Charmed, Jennifer Garner makes me wet (i know, i know. i'm supposed to be gay, but who cares?) and DH is the funniest show of the season. not to mention that guy who plays Susan's would-be boyfriend is the hottest man i've seen on tv in a long time. i start to compulsively touch myself whenever he's on the screen. no matter if he's dressed from head to toe or shirtless - which is how we like him best, of course - he's still hot.

ps. i LOVE Tori Amos!!!

 

[Hellfire]

It started as joke but has sort of evolved into a weird kind of tradition I intend on mantaining. Whenever you see me online, be sure: I am, indeed, in the buff. I just woke up and first thing I did was get out of my clothes and log on to the site (actually, it was the second. the first would be start up e-mule to continue downloading Titan Film's Gorge as soon as possible) so that I could say hi and bye real quick cuz I need to hit the road in a couple of minutes. It's been almost an hour now and I'm so totally totally late. This place is addicting me.

 

[Hellfire]

... which, of course, you'll never see here, cuz i'm always naked when i log on. it was a bitch finding a pair of boxer briefs that wouldn't tighten my crotch and be too lose 'round the thighs, but at the end of the day, it all worked out. i also bought myself a nice, loose, comfy pair of silk boxers to sleep in. so far that's been all i've been able to afford, not having a job till february and all, but it's a start and i'm quite happy with the underwear fashion statement i'm making. soon as i can i'll take nice r-rated pics to tamper down your curiosity.

 

[Hellfire]

Well my my, all these years of having been cybernaked seem to have finally started to pay off! Last night some dude started taling to me on MSN saying he knew me, he liked me, I've been on his mind, et cetera. Small twist: I have no idea who he is. Apparently someone introduced us when I first went to college 'bout 2 years ago and I'm thinking, "well, if we were introduced two years ago, why did he wait till now to talk to me?". Obviously I'm thinking this person isn't who he says he is. But he did mention a very distinct birth mark I have, which leads me to believe s/he does at least know me in person.

Either way, I'm obviously not really comfortable with this. He says he wants my friendship and "maybe something more". Oh, he's bi and has a girlfriend. I told him "I'm sorry, I don't have "something more"s with people who are in a relationship". Bad move, perhaps? Mind you, I don't know how good he looks just yet. No, no, baaaaaaad me! Can't do anything either way. He's a stalker!

You know, part of me is kinda digging this. I never had a stalker before... Danger and excitement exactly when I need it the most. Let's see how that goes.

 

[Hellfire]

just poppin' in real quick to say i've updated my photo album. added a couple new galleries and uploaded a couple new pictures of yours truly. now you can see how fat i get when I go to Germany in the winter and do nothing but eat pasta and stay home to avoid the cold. thank god i was born in a tropical land, otherwise i'd be weighing 300 pounds by now. and that's a terrible no no for me. oh yea, check the new.... uhm... more revealing pics i posted. (insert shameful self-promotion icon here)

 

[Hellfire]

I wasn't updating my blog tonight cuz I'm dead tired after two poorly slept nights, but since I got an entire blog entry dedicated to moi, I thought it'd be only fair to reciprocate. so here's an update just for him, the cutie pie.
;-)

meawhile, nothing too interesting happened to me. yesterday i went to a crazy assed party in which i had a wonderful time but couldn't stay in till too late cuz I was supposedly entertaining friends of mine from out of town. skipped out early even though I really didn't want to just to be with them, but then I got cramps and they decided they really didn't wanna go out (couldn't they've, like, said that to me 2 hours earlier??? fuckers) and I ended up staying in watching The Sound Of Music, how depressive.

today I met up with them early in the afternoon and we spent the entire day walking around touristic areas south of the city (where the hot sexy people are, and trust me, i'd never seen so many hot sexy people together before in my life; a shame no one thought the same 'bout me) and by 18:00 I was covered in sweat, dead tired, longing to go home and take a shower, but we ended up sitting by the beach with water bottles in our hands watching a sunset from the most beautifulest of places in the city. i'll be sure to post some pics.

edit: pics are there, check out how purty my city is! a nanner is in order here.

 

[Hellfire]

Not much going on around here lately. It's a superlong holiday in Brazil, which started last friday and doesn't end till tomorrow. People get 6 days off and the country loses millions due to the all the time people get off work. I haven't done much, went to a couple parades, caught up with friends and sat contemplating my life whilst figuring out where I'll be 5 years from now. Really boring stuff. Rented a couple films and have been listening to Tori Amos's new album nonstop. It's a really good record.

 

[Hellfire]

Almost two months after a really messy breakup i'm proud to say... i'm over it! it's taken a lot of denial and anger, but then when i realized i was still in love with him and told him so, it was easier than Alanis's 8 easy steps program to recovery. i won't go into boring detail about all that happened; let's just say that i finally told myself: "look, you tried everything. you gave 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th chances, he didn't take it. WAKE UP and smell the fucking coffee, it's time you let it go!" and so it was. i let it go. i honestly did. i'm so calm and relaxed right now i could cry of joy.

 

[Hellfire]

sooooooooooooooooooo.... here i am after two weeks offline! my computer went bezerk on me one day and it turns out the motherboard was busted and the memory cap was... well, busted. so after spending half a thou in fixups i'm finally back in an almost fine and dandy machine - i still need to reformat it - catching up with my porn first of all (my 2 yahoo accounts had a total of 2.000 e-mails! ) and then with what's left of the social life i left behind, as we all know, two weeks in the internet is correspondent to twenty five years in the real world. so just imagine coming back home after 25 years and trying to find someone who still remembers you. hehe, i hope you do remember me, right???

 

[Hellfire]

Here I am uploading some new pics after my quiet and steady fashion transformation. I decided to de-black my wardrobe a wee bit and go sort of full on queer for a while. I even dared going out in public in a red t-shirt, for crying out loud! and now i'm going back to the gym, getting lenses (it's hard to look sexy when you gotta squeeze your eyes to read a menu) and braces to fix these disasterous horse teeth. that may work for Julia Roberts, but i ain't her - nor do i wanna be.

Meanwhile, Lenny Kravitz played his much anticipated free concert at Copacabana last night. 1 million people showed up. 1 million extremely impolite get-out-of-my-way people showed up. I ended up stepping in sewage water and given i was wearing sandals, i'm afraid i might have gotten some sort of infection that i don't know 'bout yet. i think i'm gonna wash my toes with bleach. the concert itself was unspectacular, just a bunch of hits being thrown around and i didn't even get to see him - not that i wanted to anyway. i went thinking it'd be a party, but it wasn't. i didn't even get to flirt with anyone. oh well.

ps. wow, this is the most futile entry i've ever written here.

 

[Hellfire]

So, it's been quite a long while since I updated this thing... So many things have happened, so many people have come and gone (lol, not sexually, though. I'm not that much of a whore) that I don't even know where to start. Well, let's start from the trivial "how are you?" news.

I'm doing great, college is keeping me busy and that's why I haven't been to the forum much lately. I just finished writing my midterms and the lowest grade I got was an A-, I'm quite satisfied with it, but I could've done better still. I'm sure I will when it's time for my finals.

Meanwhile, work has been giving me some headaches later. Working as a teacher means you gotta be ready to every single whim your crazy students might have, and trust me, it seems like every single crazy student in this world chose one of my classes to feel right at home in. It's very delicate having to make every last one of them feel important whilst letting them know that I'm the crucial figure in their education, not themselves. But I manage.

And how's the love life doing? Well, me no wanna jinx anything, but I met this guy, we get along fine, we click, we're getting to know each other better and hopefully, if everything works out, he's gonna be the next love of my life. Upon realizing he was gonna lose his place, my former love of my life wanted to get back together - after treating me like shit, go back a few blog entries and you'll see what I mean - and I kindly told him to shove a TNT bar up his ass and blow his head off. Aren't I nice.

That's about it for now, stay tuned for more news. Oh, and does anyone know whatever happened to that "latest blog entry" thingy that used to appear under our avatars? I thought that was quite a nice way to let everyone know what everyone had been up to, why was it removed? Cheers.

 

[Hellfire]

... but I know I'm gonna fail miserably at keeping it updated. So, before anything, there are some people I owe little big ups to (little big?), so off we go:

Ruby: Du hast mein pics schon sehr oft gesehen! Nun hab ich nen freund und er ist ganz ganz gaaaaaaanz eifersuchtig und wollte uberhaupt nicht mehr, dass ich solche pics auf meinem profile hatte. ABER! Wenn du willst, koennte ich vielleicht ganz exklusive bilder nur fuer dich machen, meine kleene geile! *lach* viele heisse kussen aus Brasilien!

Dolla, honey: I waited for you as long as I could, but since you were having an affair not only with Arnell but also with Elvn, i thought you'd be superhappy even without our little affair.

Pool67: Me no know you yet, but thanks for leaving a comment!

JD: YAY, the blog thingie is back! You deserve a dancing nanner now.

NightRaider: Haven't read your blog yet, but thanks for the comments and I'm gonna drop by as soon as I'm finished with this thing!

Ok, now that the big ups are done - I feel like homecoming (size) queen or something, here's what's new with me: Remember I said I met this guy and was looking for where it was headed? Well, here it is, we're celebrating one month together today! Well, if you're reading this on May 20, that is.

Meanwhile, I have braces now. Just finished putting them up yesterday (yea, i know braces are horribly seventeenish, but whatever, shut up) and they hurt like fuck, but at least i have it colored like my soccer team, which is like, so totally cool.

And I'm still trying to find a decent car to buy. So far, no such luck. We'll see how it goes in the end of the month when the money to buy it finally comes through. I can't stand riding public transports anymore! I wanna drive around bottomless and hard.