Help – Boy Is Making Me Ill

[evil_danger]

Basically long story short

Meet a guy Reese a few months ago and his best female friend Libby, I think he’s uber-cute but he doesn’t come back in again for ages.

Libby comes to work at the same place I do, yet I still don’t see Reese again for a while even though I ask after him, she says he doesn’t like coming to the pub I work in.

This Friday Libby gets drunk and says she fancies me, I say I’m not interested, I love her as a friend but I have no attraction to her what so ever.

This Saturday Libby brings Reese in to sit and wait while she works, I do my damnedest to flirt with him.

I give them both a lift home and Reese gives me his number, I giggle although I cant text or call him because of lack of credit.

This Sunday they come in again and are fighting in front of me, I have family issues so I stay out of it until I turn around and say, “if you don’t tell me I can’t help you”. Libby says something along the lines of “its you whose the problem” Apparently they are fighting over me.

I give them another lift home and they fight in my car, I say that I’m annoyed they are putting me in that situation.

Reese storms off and Libby leaves a few moments later.

Reese is sat around the corner I pull up and chat with him.

We share a romantic moment where he puts his arm around me, we talk, I ask him why he hadn't been in for ages, he simply says that he knew I would be there which confused me.

Then we really kiss tongues and everything.

He doesn’t call me the next day and ignores the text I sent him.

Yesterday he phoned me to say he was sorry for not getting in contact he was tired from work but he was coming up my work later. so he came up again while I was working, we flirt a little bit including a joke about tipping “I tip the barstaff” Reese says “Oh yeah, I really enjoyed that tip you gave Sunday night” and everyone overheard and a few people worked it out for themselves.

I take Libby home because they fall out over something completely different, Libby has no idea about me and Reese snogging, he texts me to say “text me after you drop Libby off okay love xxx”

Round the corner we chat again this time in my car.

I ask him how have we left things, and if it was an ideal world how would things be left.

He said that we would have a chance to get to know each other better, but he doesn’t know.

I hug him and kiss his cheek, he does the same, we kiss as friends but we both stop before it gets to proper tongue kissing (like the Sunday night, which was hot!)

Now I’m more confused than ever, I text him today to say I’m bored, hope he enjoys work and hopefully see him later if he feels like meeting up. He knows today was my only day off but he wasn’t willing to change his plans, and although he said see me before his plans after he finished work that never happened.

I cant text him again that’s just creepy and annoying, but I have no idea whats going on.

I’ve been emotionally sick, depressed lethargic, can’t sleep and physically ill, stomach upset, cant eat and heaving and I know its all down to Reese. I just don’t know where I stand.

Am I just being impatient, or does it sound like he has no interest in me?

I know his work takes a lot out of him, but he had some time today where he could have just sent me a text to say “not feeling up for anything tonight”.

I’m a pusher though, I like everything to be done yesterday and maybe hes just not like that?

Or maybe to him I am just a friend who he happens to have snogged and that’s enough for him.

All I know is I cant go on like this, I need some sleep, I need to keep my food down and its fucking annoying to think a boy could have this much hold over me just from a weekend kiss!

I would love to text him to say I have tomorrow evening off, or that I have Saturday off if he’s interested in doing anything, but I don’t want to come across as forcing the issue.

I cant give myself advice in situations like these, I don’t know what I would say to someone who had this problem, I'm too close and I cant tell if hes just messing me around, taking his time, has no interest or is scared himself!

Any advice?

 

[G-Lexington]

I swear, I'm gonna have to have this thing laminated.

Talk to him.
Not us.
Him.

Don't play cutesy word games. Be upfront. Don't text him - CALL him. Say you need to talk to him, and find a time when he can really talk. In person is better, on the phone will be fine.

"Look, Reese, I really like you. And I'd really like to take things to the next level, if you're up for that. But I need to know where we stand. If you're willing to give it ago, I'm willing to go at whatever speed you feel comfortable at. But if this isn't something you want to try, let me know, so I don't keep getting my hopes up."

Lex

 

[dsh122]

Lex has put it as plainly as it gets. You need to have that ^^chat w Reese.

 

[KaraBulut]

This is really a game of cat and mouse with you two, isn't it?

Just make sure that you're the cat and not the mouse. It never ends well for the mouse, poor thing.

 

[rareboy]

I'd be inclined to ditch him right now.

He's fucking with you.

If you like the delicious agony and the drama of being treated like this, then stick with it.

Otherwise, I'd just find a good book to read.

 

[alley]

Yes--if he was into you as much as you would like him to be he would easily have found time for you.

 

[youngnihilist]

if he's making you ill why bother. he's a game player. playing games is okay when you're detached from them, as in not caring if he contacts you or not. that's hard to do but sometimes it's the way to go.

 

[evil_danger]

Without going into detail cos I've bored you enough I told him that if he cant show me hes not just toying with me then I'm wasting my time. Even as a friend I expect some communication, and from someone who "was going to show me so much" he had a funny way of showing that.

And after some abusive text messages that he sent me saying that he doesn't want to waste his time on me anyway hes now turned into my stalker!

I've just realised hes 18, hes young, still a pup really, doesn't know what he wants. I just need to explain that hes burnt that bridge, if he ever wants rebuild it hes more than welcome to, but I cant waste my time on him if hes not willing to try.

Thanks for the (somewhat harsh and blunt) advice.

 

[G-Lexington]

No problem. Now set your sites out for a guy who actually DOES want to be with you, without the bullshit games. He's out there.

Lex

 

[rareboy]

Frankly, you don't need to explain anything...unless you want to keep this game going....and it doesn't seem worth it to me.

Once he sent you abusive messages, he should lose the opportunity to be your friend. That is waht you should explain to him and then stick to it. It could be the best lesson you teach him, because if he doesn't learn it now, I predict a lifetime of him abusing people.

 

[evil_danger]

Good point rareboy, the problem is though we both share a good friend in Libby and I dont want to make things hard on her, they are already hard enough after I was forced to tell her about the situation.

Besides I cant stop him drinking at my work place and being the only bar man there most of the time I kinda have to serve him.

If he does keep this 'stalking' thing up, I'm going to have to do something, its creepy though, but I have to keep it nice for Libbys sake even if he doesn't show the same reasoning or compassion towards her.

 

[G-Lexington]

If Libby knows the situation, you should be able to tell her that you don't want to drive a wedge anywhere. Just let her know you're still coming to grips with this guy.

Feel free to serve him, but that doesn't mean you have to talk to him.

Lex

 

[evil_danger]

Well hes not come by since sunday, if I dont see him this weekend its most likely all finished and over with and I can really move on with my life.