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help, does this guy sound gay or bi to you?
V

valcido

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okay, so i have this friend, zack. he's a good guy. he's deadly attractive, athletic, and all around nice guy. but he doesn't know i am bisexual. his myspace says he's straight but everytime i talk to him or am around him i get these vibes from him that he may be bi, gay or curious. but everyone knows he's dated girls.
anyway, here are some of the things he's done that give me mixed signals:

-once when we were sitting by eachother he caressed my upper thigh and asked if my cell phone was on me. i said yes, and pulled it out of my other pocket.
-one day when we were sitting by eachother he had a tinkle ring on his finger and was messing around with it. he placed his hand on my crotch thinking the vibrations of the tinkle ring would startle me.
-he's a funny kinda guy, and one day while sitting next to eachother he leaned his body against mine, and told me i was comfortable. he kept shoving his body against mine and i ended up calling him "cat" because of how he lounges around like a cat.
-again, while we were sitting next to eachoter he began asking if i was tickleish and dug his fingers into my ribs.

remember, all of this is all run in games. he's told me he can actually call me a friend and when we text eachother we actually know how to hold a conversation. which is surprising becuase not a lot of "straight" guys will hold good conversations through texting with other guys.

i've asked a gay friend of mine to ask him if he was in fact gay or bisexual, but he said he "doesn't swing that way".

there have been a couple of times where he has talked about trying to have sex with this girl he and i both know, but recently they've taken a vow to only be friends.

what i'm asking is, could someone please help me? i think i've fallen for this boy but i'm really nervous to even tell him the truth. advise would be greatly appreciated. this boy, zack, is an amazing person and if he was gay or bi, oh god, i would love to be with him.
what do you guys think?
what are some ways i could pull the truth out of him?
:help:
 
also, a few days ago he texted me in the middle of the night saying, "cat. :)" in pink colored font.
and before we've texted eachother in fun ways. like making the texts long and funny and useless. like flirtacious texts... but idk if he see's it the same way...
 
Heyy,

Ok I have a similar kinda problem so I might not be that good giving advice but from I can see he either thinks of you as a extremely good friend and he might think that he can be that close with you without you getting the wrong idea or his may well be curious and to be honest most guys are quite curious but when it comes to actually doing anything that isnt regarder as a "joke" they start to become defensive and deny everything. Just a question how old are you? Next time he does something like he has been doing like touching around your crotch you may want to joke and be like "dude you trying to make me horny" or something to see his reaction and see what he says because you too can play it off as a joke. Also if hes a close mate have you ever thought of telling him you are bi or that you think you could like guys as well as girls. After he finds out he might be a lot more curious to try things out with you.

All the best
 
wow, I wish my str8 friends were that 'close' damn haha, I thought initially before reading anything you were gonna say something that couldve passed as very 'metrosexual' behavior from a str8 guy but it seems that's not the case. so you have flirty text msgs, putting his hand on your thigh and grabbing your crotch, wow, I might say those signs could point to curiosity but then again, if yall are real close, it could mean nothing at all, and its just how playful yall can be with each other, and I don't know many straight guys, if any, that can hold conversations through only texting, all signs point to yes, but maybe you should get some gay friend that you have to ask him secretly or something. the most I've done with my str8 friends is like, sometimes one of the guys will sit on my lap, I know he's str8, but he sits on my lap sometimes, when I'm drunk, I've been known to get 'feely' and grab asses, and they don't think anything of it, the last thing would be I've slept with some of them, literally in the same bed, and its no problem, when the just wanna come over and it just happens to be real late or we accidentally sleep together, I don't know......
 
that crotch touching is what is really hard to translate, I've seen some str8 friends pinch each others asses or slap them or something, but that touching the actual crotch, I don't know, I wouldn't even do that to one of my str8 friends if I was drunk let alone sober, just ask him privately, and like whatever answer he gives make it seem like you're really cool with it so if he does happen to say he's curious, you can be like, omg me too! I don't know what else to say
 
You say he doesnt know you are bisexual.... Tell him,be honest..If he is bisexual he might confess...if not you might loose him as a friend...Or is he a true friend/?? THATS WHEN YOU GET THE ANSWERE TO BOTH QUESTIONS.
 
i just don't know. he's openly said he doesn't care if someone is gay or bi; that he has no problem with it.
once while he did one of these little playful "gay antics" to a known-straight guy, the guy said "dude. what the fuck are you gay?" and zack just said "no" in a defensive way.
 
All of your evidences begin with 'while we were sitting on the couch', and he texts you in the middle of the night, indicating that he was thinking about you. Signs point to gay/bi curious. Unless you've severely framed your points of evidence, do what others said and tell him. Ofc he would tell a gay guy he doesn't swing that way. But would he tell a trusted friend, that he might want to try it? Maybe if you did first...
 
I dont think his straight, straight! I say play along with him, when he does something like that crotch thing again, do something similar back to him. Have a few drinks (if you can) with each other and see what unfolds. Take a few risks; many "straight curious" guys are actually turned on and infatuated by other guys but, whenever directly confronted with "are you gay or bi?" they will say no, out of fear.
Whatever you do, dont do what I did when I faced similar situations many many times, and that was nothing. It is something that you will regret later in life.
 
I had a friend like that in college. Exactly like that. He was actually one of the first people I told that I was bisexual. You think that changed anything? NOPE.

I was too fucking chickenshit to make a move. He would always ask if I wanted to hang with him in his dorm room and stuff, or just hang out. I was always busy or just kind of embarrassed of myself. I don't know. After that the semester ended, we didn't keep in touch and rarely saw each other on campus.

Than last month, I discovered he's now living with his (apparently ) long-time girlfriend. THAT COULD'VE BEEN ME!

Moral of the story: Do something about it before a girl replaces you!
 
I'd say he's at least curious.

Also, it would be a shame not to find out if you could have something with him. Don't just blurt out "BTW, d00d, i'm gay, wanna date? *dur*" Take it easy, and just ask him if he's OK with you being gay. I did that with my best friend (straight), and he was supportive and even tried to find guys/girls for me, lol.

If he really loves you (as a caring friend) then everything will be fine, and if he's gay/bi/curious, even better. If not, at least you can easily move on. Trust me, it's better to try than do nothing.
 
It could be as you think, or he could just be really comfortable. You know, I always like to think that if the American (assuming you live in the states) male's modern society wasn't based on homophobia and unfounded masculine comformity, then we would act very much like how women do to perfectly straight women freinds. They touch, they kiss, they snuggle, and they can be perfectly straight. I noticed in Europe that this is like that with guys. So, you know, he could just be non-traditional.

Still, bring it up to him.
 
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