Help! I have a dilema!

[crc68stang]

So my fiancé and I have been experimenting in the bedroom lately and we've both gotten rly fond of anal stimulation! I love having her dildo up my ass! And I love fuckin her hard in the ass! In the past few months I've grown very interested in stroking and suckin a cock! Possibly being fucked! I kicked the idea around with my fiancé and all seemed ok at first.... But once I rly got her to open up about how she rly felt, she now doesn't even wanna bring it up again. How do I assure her that I'm not gunna end up rly liking guys and leave her for a man?! I'm in no way attracted to guys what so ever! I just wanna no how it feels to pleasure a man... I love it when my fiancé dominates me I just wanna see how things are from like her prospective while she's doing stiff yo me... I wanna no what it's like to stroke suck and ride a cock! Any suggestions?!

 

[crc68stang]

Well we've used a pair of panties to support her dildo and shes fucked my ass several times!!! And I've ridden her many times.... Feels absolutley amazing!!! But I'm just extremely curious about tryin it with the teal thing and I wanna stroke an suck a dick!!!

 

[bankside]

You are attracted to guys. Where do you think this penis is going to come from if not attached to a guy?

Nobody is saying you have to fall in love with a guy, but you are curious enough and sexually attracted enough to want to try it. That means you being "straight" no longer applies for the moment. Your orientation is officially "bi-curious." That alone is probably a big deal to your fiancée, and she probably never imagined that before so it could take a while for her to figure that out.

By the way I really like your reasons for wanting to try it:

I just wanna see how things are from like her prospective while she's doing stiff yo me... I wanna no what it's like to stroke suck and ride a cock!

I think that is erotic and hot, and also I like the fact that you want to explore sensations from her point of view. I agree that it could bring you together with a shared experience instead of driving you apart. I believe you, you're just looking for something fun in bed, to learn about and try something new and it could teach you as much about her experience as your own or the other guy's.

But you know this is experimental and unusual as far as relationships go, right? Not many people have even thought of an idea like this. Even fewer people know how to make it work. It is natural that she would need a lot of time to even understand how this would work, before she even thinks about whether she wants to or not.

The bottom line is, I have no idea what she believes or why. Have you asked her? It is a big deal that you don't agree on this. You need to let her know that this curiosity is real, and sincere, and part of you. Let her know that you don't have to act on it, and you love being with her, but that every time she's fucking you she's fucking a man who is also curious about getting fucked, and that isn't going to change.

She may be interested in monogamy only. Most people are. And this may be a deal-breaker for her. One more thing, when you talk about it with her, let her try to convince you too. If you want her to change her mind, you have to be just as willing to change yours.

That is probably the best approach. Give her a chance to convince you that it is a bad idea. Once she starts explaining her feelings, she might change her mind. You both might come up with something else that you both find hot. Or she might change your mind completely. At least you will know what her feelings are.

 

[crc68stang]

Well thank you guys! Both of ur help is greatly appreciated!!! I'm ok with the title of bicurious.... I'm just not attracted to men at all... I'm lookin at the experience from like a womans point of view!! Like I absolutely love riding my fiancé!!!! It makes me feel so sexy and volnerable!!! I like not rly being in control.... And I love the feelin of havin my asshole stretched out! Whether it's with her fingers or her dildo or our buttplug.... An I love being rimmed when my asshole is all open and stretched out!!

 

[RobUK2]

Maybe you should ask on an exclusively bisexual site (like bisexual.com). I'm on that site and a lot of straight/bi-curious post the same kind of feelings (they want to experiment a bit, but no emotional stuff).

Personally, I like the idea of being with a guy as a friend, or even doing stuff sexually with them, but don't want a long-term relationship (LTR) with a guy - I can't imagine that. I'd like a girlfriend, even a get married to her later.

Lots of guys there feel the same - might be able to get some advice from someone who's already been there, or maybe even find a bi cpl who might 'help you out' (as it were)...

 

[bankside]

She probably needs to know that this is not some complicated way of breaking up with her. You're interested because of her...you want to know what it would feel like in her shoes. That understanding what she feels, and how she is feeling, turns you on. And, even just playing around like you have already done, with her pegging you, has already made things better because it has allowed you to be more creative in bed and enjoy letting her take charge.

I actually had straight guy friends talk about that same issue - it is not true that guys always want to be the dominant, in-charge-protector-alpha stereotype. Sometimes they want to let go and switch things up. Often, actually.

I remember one straight friend who never tried anything gay. He started out asking me the usual kind of "who's the man" questions and I said in my relationship we just enjoyed whatever we felt like that night. Sometimes I enjoy getting nailed and sometimes I want to do the nailing. That freedom blew his mind a little bit, and even though he never wanted to it with a guy, he did change things in his own sex life to make more flexible like that. More creative and more fun, with women. Even in a straight relationship, the man doesn't have to "be the man" all the time.

 

[crc68stang]

I just wanna experience things she does!! Like I find it so incredibly erotic to do the things from her point of view.... And she loves suckin cock and riding my cock!!!!! I wanna experience it.... I don't wanna be with a man I wanna stay happily engaged to my fiancé!!!! Is there any realistic dongs that are rly close to the real thing?

 

[Krakenbwool]

I agree with the others. I feel for ya, but don't cheat on your wife.

Though the thing is, I can't quite get behind your wife's mentality because as a woman, personally, if my husband was bi or bicurious, I'd let him fuck around with men all he wanted, as long as he doesn't pick up another broad along the way.

 

[bankside]

I agree with the others. I feel for ya, but don't cheat on your wife.

Though the thing is, I can't quite get behind your wife's mentality because as a woman, personally, if my husband was bi or bicurious, I'd let him fuck around with men all he wanted, as long as he doesn't pick up another broad along the way.

Makes no sense to me. Why not other women? If my husband were bi, I don't see how it would make any difference whether he was sleeping around with men or with women.

 

[paatreides]

Maybe you could approach her about bringing in a "pro" for one experimental evening. That way it stays "all business" with the guy.

Then again, have you asked her about a 3-way? You, a bi buy, and her??? She may find she likes having 2 guys service her and some women (not all, so don't start kickin' my ass here folks!) get turned on by seeing 2 men servicing one another.

Just a suggestion.

Because, here's the thing: If you have this strong desire to experiment with stroking, sucking, and riding another guy's cock, the urge to satisfy that curiosity is not going to simply disappear. At some point you will end up trying it behind her back and that is the kind of thing that can kill a relationship.

Your fiance doesn't know what a terrific guy she has in you. Most men would be afraid to even broach the subject with thier wives. You've told her about this desire/curiosity and have asked her to indulge it. She's kind of not being fair (GGG, as Dan Savage would say). Everyone in the relationship has a right to ask for their fantasies to be indulged. Of course, the right to deny it exists - but it doesn't make for a healthy relationship. If we care enough about our partner, we are interested in pleasing them. If we won't even entertain the idea, we only interested in pleasing ourselves. Eventually the resentment of being denied an opportunity to try something builds up and the relationship begins to curdle.

The two of you need to have more discussions about this. If she won't even talk about it you have bigger problems ahead.

 

[MisterMajestic]

So my fiancé and I have been experimenting in the bedroom lately and we've both gotten rly fond of anal stimulation! I love having her dildo up my ass! And I love fuckin her hard in the ass! In the past few months I've grown very interested in stroking and suckin a cock! Possibly being fucked! I kicked the idea around with my fiancé and all seemed ok at first.... But once I realy got her to open up about how she rly felt, she now doesn't even wanna bring it up again. How do I assure her that I'm not gunna end up rly liking guys and leave her for a man?! I'm in no way attracted to guys what so ever! I just wanna no how it feels to pleasure a man... I love it when my fiancé dominates me I just wanna see how things are from like her prospective while she's doing stiff yo me... I wanna no what it's like to stroke suck and ride a cock! Any suggestions?!

....Wow....You allowed yourself to get "caught-up" like that just from a few moments of Anal-play with your woman?....So you went there with her? I can't give any advice since you've already dropped the bomb on her BIG-TIME......But the advice that I'd give to ANY woman is this:

When your Partner admits that he wants to experiment with other Guys it's time to end the relationship...There's only so much you can ask of the Woman you want to marry...And you did her a FAVOR by telling her you want to experiment with Men...I promise you she's already discussed this with another girlfriend, sibling or her mother...

What you've asked will stay in her head 24/7...The average straight woman does NOT want a Bisexual or Gay Husband...Can you blame them?...Sorry to say this Dude but you've crossed the line that usually ends a relationship...

It'll be interesting to see if she still marries you...

 

[Krakenbwool]

Makes no sense to me. Why not other women? If my husband were bi, I don't see how it would make any difference whether he was sleeping around with men or with women.

I'll be honest--other women are a direct threat to me because we are comparable; men aren't. And if my husband/bf leaves me for another man, I'd know it doesn't have to do with my shortcomings as a woman, but rather the fact that I'm not a man, which I can do nothing about.

Of course, I wouldn't want him to fuck the entire men's warehouse behind my back, but it wouldn't kill me if he had a few fuckbuddies and whatnot.

 

[bankside]

I'll be honest--other women are a direct threat to me because we are comparable; men aren't. And if my husband/bf leaves me for another man, I'd know it doesn't have to do with my shortcomings as a woman, but rather the fact that I'm not a man, which I can do nothing about.

Of course, I wouldn't want him to fuck the entire men's warehouse behind my back, but it wouldn't kill me if he had a few fuckbuddies and whatnot.

Yeah, see, as a gay man in a relationship with another gay man, I don't have the option to think that way because every other guy out there is "comparable." And yet at the same time I can't bring myself to be so dismissive of them as individuals.

Hmm.

 

[Krakenbwool]

Yeah, see, as a gay man in a relationship with another gay man, I don't have the option to think that way because every other guy out there is "comparable." And yet at the same time I can't bring myself to be so dismissive of them as individuals.

Hmm.

What about threesomes, lol? I'm kidding, but it's interesting to know that some gay men are genuinely into monogamous relationships. Most of the gay/bi guys that I know are pretty much free-floaters, and a few in open relationships. Then again, they're young.

Nothin' wrong with however people choose to live their lives. As long as we stay honest to ourselves and our partners.

 

[bankside]

What about threesomes, lol? I'm kidding, but it's interesting to know that some gay men are genuinely into monogamous relationships. Most of the gay/bi guys that I know are pretty much free-floaters, and a few in open relationships. Then again, they're young.

Nothin' wrong with however people choose to live their lives. As long as we stay honest to ourselves and our partners.

Actually I do have a lot of three way fantasies. Occasionally even involving a woman. And though, in my dreams, my guy and I have gone at it in rooms full of people and under piles of writhing horny bodies, I have never even come close to a real-world situation where it would make sense to take it beyond the fantasy. One of my specific fantasies would involve a bi-curious straight guy and his female partner, but then it always revolves around discovering erotic aspect of what he finds exciting and what he sees in it. Which leads me to think, in the real world, I'd be interested in him, and she'd end up wondering how me being in the room was adding anything to the evening - and I know that makes me kind of a poor candidate for a three-way if I'm not really in it for both people.

I dunno, it is not a fantasy I'm ashamed of making real, but I don't see it happening and it's almost 13 years now of monogamy with my guy, and so far so fun.

 

[clicker]

I'll be honest--other women are a direct threat to me because we are comparable; men aren't. And if my husband/bf leaves me for another man, I'd know it doesn't have to do with my shortcomings as a woman, but rather the fact that I'm not a man, which I can do nothing about.

Of course, I wouldn't want him to fuck the entire men's warehouse behind my back, but it wouldn't kill me if he had a few fuckbuddies and whatnot.

That's how I feel too. I can't believe more people don't see it this way.

 

[crc68stang]

Well thank you to all!!! If you guys have any questions to better understand the situation then by all means ask away!!!! I'm also intrigued by the dif opinions on what i should do... Or what I shouldn't have done.... An mite I add that I love my wife very much! She's my world! I'm not leaving her for anything.. No pussy or dick is worth leavin her... She gives me everything I need and want minus this..... And no this isn't going to ruin my relationship! We ate a very open couple and always talk to each other about what's on our minds

 

[MisterMajestic]

Well thank you to all!!! If you guys have any questions to better understand the situation then by all means ask away!!!! I'm also intrigued by the dif opinions on what i should do... Or what I shouldn't have done.... An mite I add that I love my wife very much! She's my world! I'm not leaving her for anything.. No pussy or dick is worth leavin her... She gives me everything I need and want minus this..... And no this isn't going to ruin my relationship! We ate a very open couple and always talk to each other about what's on our minds

So is she your wife or your Fiance? In your original posting you said she was your Fiance..

 

[crc68stang]

Legally we are not married.... She's my fiancé.... Due to be married October 2011

 

[mbamike]

IMO, you need to experience a Real Cock and get ass fucked real good before you marry your fiance'. My concern is that you two will marry and sometime down the road you can no longer suppress the desire to get ass fucked by a guy. Dildos will lose their appeal. What do you do then? You will be legally married.

Experiment now to make sure you can spend the rest of your life satisfied with what your fiance' can give you. I have been through a hellacious divorce. I do not wish that pain on anyone!