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help!!! I'm losing my hard ons!!!

R

redips

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I'm a top in my early 30s. My boyfriend and I have sex about once a week, though I jerk off by myself for another 1-2 times per week.

I don't have problems getting or staying hard while jerking off (and it usually lasts 5-10 minutes). But I'm having problems keeping it up while fucking. It used to happen more often after he's been riding my dick for a few minutes, but for the past two times, I lost it before I could even put it in. And then I couldn't get it back up even as he was sucking it.

It's definitely not an attraction issue. What made it so weird was that we had the sexiest time making out in the kitchen all naked before heading to the bedroom. I was all ready for it, but then as soon as I started worrying that I'd lose it, I did.

In fact, just as I was typing this I got hard. And then I worried that I'd lose it and I did. It's really frustrating because it's like a self fulfilling prophecy and I can't stop it, and I'm really worried that it's going to get worse and worse.

My boyfriend is being all nice and supportive and everything, but I feel really bad and embarrassed.

Anyone ever had a similar experience and can share some advice? I need all the help I can get right now.

Thanks!
 
The fear is now taking over. One technique would be to forgo orgasm for as long as you can stand it to have your horniness trump your fear of losing your erection. The Health and Well-being forum will have other suggestions. I'm leaving this here because you are not only concerned for yourself but also for your relationship.

It's also always advisable to see your doctor as medical conditions and medications also cause problems. The offending medical conditions can be serious so do make a medical appointment to rule those out.
 
Thanks, Seasoned.

Oh another thing: This might sound like a really silly question, but do cock rings help? And if so, how do they work, and how/when do i put them on? Sorry I'm kinda of newbie in that department (the cockrings, not gay sex) 😊
 
I'm no expert, but I wouldn't rely on a cock ring at your age, except for a novelty. If I'm remembering correctly they can do damage if used too often or if too tight and the suggestion I remember has to do with wearing the adjustable type rather than the inflexible metal or hard plastic ones.

I thought of something else. How playful is your bf? It might be fun for you both if he teased edged you especially if it were a long session. Add some restraints and a blindfold and who knows what might happen. The idea being once you had a successful encounter or two your confidence would come back.
 
Thanks seasoned.

That's actually a very interesting point, and brings me more questions. This might be a digression so I'll start a new thread about it.
 
I've had a similar experience. you're kind of setting yourself up for it to happen. you said things were fine until you started to worry and that's when you lost it. it's a vicious circle. the more you worry the more it'll happen. you're going to have to learn to keep your mind focused on your partner. I know thats not easy and you can't help what pops into your mind but the less you worry about it the less likely it is to happen. our biggest sex organ is our brain and it controls what happens to our bodies. just a thought but have you started any new medications or adjusted any medications? especially antidepressants or blood pressure medications can have major effects on erections. also medications for high cholesterol or anxiety can do it too. hope that helps in some way. if it keeps happening you may want to have a talk with your doctor the next time you see him.

Steven
 
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