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Help me think up a name for the "Cake Boss" tourists in Hoboken

Críostóir

Críostóir

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I live in Hoboken, NJ, and Carlo's Bakery (formerly Carlo's City Hall Bake Shop) is here, in fact it's on my way between home and the gym. There is a neverending line of stupidass tourists waiting hours to get their "pitchur took" with The Cake Boss.

Now, Carlo's has been the best bakery in Hoboken for years. I used to stop in there and get some rugalach once in a while, and I've gotten many a birthday cake there. I can no longer do so because of these godsdamned tourists.

Worse, they crowd the sidewalk and stand around. Carlo's tries to keep them in a nice line, but they break out of it and walk stupid (backwards, or sideways without looking, or stand in a clump in front of the bakery to take pictures).

Anyway, they annoy the FUCK out of me. I need a name for them that properly expresses how annoying I find them, and that's where you all come in.

It should be a name no one wants to be called. Ideally, however (this is the hard part) it should be something I can say in front of an eight-year-old without getting a glare from her mother (one of my closest friends). In these parts "Tourist!" is an insult, but most tourists don't realize it, so it should be something that clearly indicates that they're fans of Cake Boss and that I think they're stupid.

Icingheads? Lame. Ditto batterheads, crumbbrains, everything else I can think of.
 
I am confused. Why do people want their picture taken with a guy who makes cakes? Does he put drugs in the cakes? :confused::confused:
 
Lukeee said:
I am confused. Why do people want their picture taken with a guy who makes cakes? Does he put drugs in the cakes? :confused::confused:
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He's been on TV, therefore he's famous, therefore their drab, wretched lives will be filled with joy if they have a picture with him. It will raise their status with the other housewives and preteens.

I'm not at all surprised that you don't understand. No one with an ounce of self-respect would do what these loonies do just for a godsdamned picture with a REALITY STAR.

If he were a hunk, of course, that would be different! :badgrin:
 
I think I'll call them batterbrains. It's a pun, in addition to everything else.
 
loki81 said:
I don't get it.

Sweet in Hoboken is so much better anyways (at least for cupcakes)
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Hmm, never tried that one. Not a big fan of cupcakes anyway. The only other serious contender to my mind is Giorgio's, and they run to the dry Italian pastries, which I don't personally care for.

They ARE right near the best fresh mozzarella in Hoboken (and therefore anywhere), which is Biancamano. However you spell that. !oops!
 
YeastBeasts

3-Layer Squares

Buttercreamers

MarbleHeads

Flourlessers

Dough-ho's
 
I don't understand the hate on tourists.

Yeah, they can be annoying but they're in a new environment filled with new attractions and sites. Of course they're gonna act giddy. My city's a tourist spot and they bring in A BUNCH of money. I can't hate on that.

Besides, you're a toursit when you visit other places. You're not gonna know your way around and you're gonna be excited over stuff the locals look over.
 
I know he makes cakes - but if he made donuts - they could be

donutHOLES !! and not the kind from Dunkin..

gee, if his place is that much on the map - can you image Charm City Cakes ?
 
One of the staff is HIV+ and suffers from spontaneous nose bleeds. The person has not been asked to leave because the business is family owned, and The Food Network keeps it hush-hush because if the person suddenly disappeared from the show it would lead to questions that might result in liability. But the truth is; nobody in the neighbourhood shops there anymore. Go ahead and look at the clientele, they are all tourists.

At least, that's what I've heard.
 
BearBoi said:
One of the staff is HIV+ and suffers from spontaneous nose bleeds. The person has not been asked to leave because the business is family owned, and The Food Network keeps it hush-hush because if the person suddenly disappeared from the show it would lead to questions that might result in liability. But the truth is; nobody in the neighbourhood shops there anymore. Go ahead and look at the clientele, they are all tourists.

At least, that's what I've heard.
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I've heard nothing of the kind, but I don't shop there because you have to wait in a block-long line to get in. The only people willing to do that are tourists, which is why they're all that appear on the show now.
 
Críostóir said:
I've heard nothing of the kind, but I don't shop there because you have to wait in a block-long line to get in. The only people willing to do that are tourists, which is why they're all that appear on the show now.
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But now you have heard it, so if you were to repeat that bit of information around the internet -- say, at a few foodie type websites and blogs and forums -- it may do a service to the many tourists that are visiting this establishment without a clue about the potential health risks they are exposing themselves and their poor little children to.
 
BearBoi said:
But now you have heard it, so if you were to repeat that bit of information around the internet -- say, at a few foodie type websites and blogs and forums -- it may do a service to the many tourists that are visiting this establishment without a clue about the potential health risks they are exposing themselves and their poor little children to.
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Ah, I see, you're trying to give me a way to get RID of them, so you made up this story about the poz employee bleeding into the icing. Naw, I just want a name to call them.
 
BearBoi said:
But now you have heard it, so if you were to repeat that bit of information around the internet -- say, at a few foodie type websites and blogs and forums -- it may do a service to the many tourists that are visiting this establishment without a clue about the potential health risks they are exposing themselves and their poor little children to.
Click to expand...

:badgrin: You sir, take the cake. :help:
 
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