I live in Hoboken, NJ, and Carlo's Bakery (formerly Carlo's City Hall Bake Shop) is here, in fact it's on my way between home and the gym. There is a neverending line of stupidass tourists waiting hours to get their "pitchur took" with The Cake Boss.
Now, Carlo's has been the best bakery in Hoboken for years. I used to stop in there and get some rugalach once in a while, and I've gotten many a birthday cake there. I can no longer do so because of these godsdamned tourists.
Worse, they crowd the sidewalk and stand around. Carlo's tries to keep them in a nice line, but they break out of it and walk stupid (backwards, or sideways without looking, or stand in a clump in front of the bakery to take pictures).
Anyway, they annoy the FUCK out of me. I need a name for them that properly expresses how annoying I find them, and that's where you all come in.
It should be a name no one wants to be called. Ideally, however (this is the hard part) it should be something I can say in front of an eight-year-old without getting a glare from her mother (one of my closest friends). In these parts "Tourist!" is an insult, but most tourists don't realize it, so it should be something that clearly indicates that they're fans of Cake Boss and that I think they're stupid.
Icingheads? Lame. Ditto batterheads, crumbbrains, everything else I can think of.
Now, Carlo's has been the best bakery in Hoboken for years. I used to stop in there and get some rugalach once in a while, and I've gotten many a birthday cake there. I can no longer do so because of these godsdamned tourists.
Worse, they crowd the sidewalk and stand around. Carlo's tries to keep them in a nice line, but they break out of it and walk stupid (backwards, or sideways without looking, or stand in a clump in front of the bakery to take pictures).
Anyway, they annoy the FUCK out of me. I need a name for them that properly expresses how annoying I find them, and that's where you all come in.
It should be a name no one wants to be called. Ideally, however (this is the hard part) it should be something I can say in front of an eight-year-old without getting a glare from her mother (one of my closest friends). In these parts "Tourist!" is an insult, but most tourists don't realize it, so it should be something that clearly indicates that they're fans of Cake Boss and that I think they're stupid.
Icingheads? Lame. Ditto batterheads, crumbbrains, everything else I can think of.



