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Help me to prevent cheating on me

P

Paladze

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My gay boyfrien cheated on me.:^o He told me about that. I has forgiven him, but I can't trust him now. What to do? How to know that she is not cheating on me now?
 
You can't "know".

That is why trust is important. Once you lose the ability to trust each other, it is very difficult to make it work.
 
I'm feeling bad for you because it's painful to have a partner who cheated or who cheats. Sometimes it's difficult to remain calm, but it's better that way if you think he is sorry and wants to be faithful. A lot of anger and craziness will mean he'll become more secretive and you are likely to become a spy. That won't be good because you will always be stressed.

Communication is essential as is willingness in every healthy relationship. That is what you probably want to concentrate on with him. You will need to feel important and wanted and safe as you more forward. If he is not loving, kind and respectful you'll need to make a decision.

Life is about being happy, not about being in a relationship. Relationships ought to enhance your life and not make you miserable.

I'd guess that the majority of relationships have survived cheating because sex is powerful and easy to find.

You'll soon know if your relationship is getting better or worse. You'll be ok as long as you take care of yourself. Best wishes.
 
Thank you for your support. Yes, you are right, it is very painfull. I don't want to feel it again. That's why I want to be sure in my boyfriend. May be I'm a paranoic but I want to check if he is cheating or not.
 
Don't check up on him. Either believe him or not, but checking up on a partner will make you crazy and more like a parent than an equal. It's ok to take time being sad, angry and uncertain. Don't allow his cheating to change you and spying will definitely change you and take over your life.

Look him in the eyes and ask him what his plans are. Does he hold you and look into your eyes? You'll know from his behavior if he is being faithful as long as you look at it honestly.

In my opinion, it would be better to break up than to sneak around spying on him. You'll turn into someone you won't recognize.

His cheating didn't destroy you even though it caused you grief, but you will destroy all the nice things about you if you allow paranoia to take over. It's ok to be suspicious, but, please, please, please DO NOT check up on him. I know you'll regret it.
 
Love and trust go hand in hand. People often mistake attraction (crush) for love. But in order to really love someone, you have to know them. The same goes for trust. The better you know someone, the more you trust them. He has broken trust with you and that might take a lot for it to come back, if it ever does. Spying on him is not the answer. As you get to know him better, you might discover he cannot be trusted or you might find out he did something very wrong and is genuinely sorry. Time will tell. Good luck, Paladze.
 
I talked to him about my worries. And we quarrelled. *
I know it is not right to spy on him. But this is the only way for me to be calm. I googled spying apps but there are plenty of them. And don't know what is really good. That's why I decided to ask here. I believe I'm not the first who want to use such app and I will be thankfull for you advices
 
Every now and then, it takes someone outside the situation to point out something that it is difficult to see when you are the person in the middle of the situation.

To those of us who are outsiders to the situation, this looks like what in English would be called "flogging a dead horse".

Let's say that you do install a spying application. Then what? The likely result is that you will catch him cheating again. Then what? Will that time be the time when you leave? Or will it be the second time you catch him? Or will it be the third time? The fourth time?

If you can't trust him or you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who cheats, then get out of the relationship. If you can't discuss it together and come to an agreement, then there's really no "fixing" the situation.

Otherwise, if you continue down this path of wondering if he's cheating and trying to catch him cheating, you're going to make both of you crazy. And the legacy will be that you will drag this ugly insecurity into your next relationships.
 
When you place all of your focus on someone else and feel a rush when you catch them at something you have lost your own life's purpose. I hope you begin worrying more about yourself and not him. The only person you can control is yourself.
 
I know it is not right to spy on him. But this is the only way for me to get the truth.*
A person who had a similar situation advised me to use spytomobile app and I installed it on my bf's phone. It is really stealthy and works good. I can read his messages, see his calls and see his location on google maps.*My fears were grounded. My bf went to a party this saturday and. I read his texts and he agreed to meet with some Nathan after the party. You can think "and what if he is just a friend?" I know all his friends and he wasn't one of them before.* Thanks to SpyToMobile.
P.S.
I left him on sunday. He lied to me that he had been always at the party, and I showed him where he was and messages from Nathan which he deleted in his phone.
Don't take it all on trust alone.
 
Personally I don't condone cheating and I wouldn't put myself in a situation where I couldn't trust someone and continued to date them. You had my trust and you cheated and spit in my face basically and didn't care about me.

I advice you to break up with the guy and find you a better guy who can treat you better and value you better. Any person who cheats on you thinks very little of you.
 
Paladze said:
I know it is not right to spy on him. But this is the only way for me to get the truth.*
A person who had a similar situation advised me to use spytomobile app and I installed it on my bf's phone. It is really stealthy and works good. I can read his messages, see his calls and see his location on google maps.*My fears were grounded. My bf went to a party this saturday and. I read his texts and he agreed to meet with some Nathan after the party. You can think "and what if he is just a friend?" I know all his friends and he wasn't one of them before.* Thanks to SpyToMobile.
P.S.
I left him on sunday. He lied to me that he had been always at the party, and I showed him where he was and messages from Nathan which he deleted in his phone.
Don't take it all on trust alone.
Click to expand...

So why haven't you left yet. At this point it's your own damn fault. You are choosing to say.
 
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