Help me turn on my 'Gaydar'

[BiBoy6]

Hey, this is my first post! I was wondering some ways to tell if some guys were gay by just hanging around them. For... Purposes

 

[ncguy7]

Unless their dress, speech, or mannerisms are blatantly obvious give-aways, it's more art than science, and if they aren't interested in you, it may be hard to tell. It's not ordinary, though, for guys who are strangers to repeatedly check each other out, hold each other's gaze, smile at each other, follow each other around. Those are certainly some clues.

Hotswimmer is right.

I don't have good gaydar myself. Eye contact is a big thing. Usually, straight guys won't hold eye contact for more than a second or two. But that doesn't always work, both ways.

 

[braex27]

My gaydar is completely off...

 

[Design]

My gaydar sucks complete ass. Although eye contact is a huge help sometimes as someone said above.

And with the current fashion trend of the "metro", it's even harder to tell by dress!

 

[Storybook_Man]

its funny, my gaydar is me getting nervous type feelings around a gay guy lol... I dont even have to talk to him, its just like a switch turns on, and its pretty accurate so far haha.

 

[goldeneye]

My gaydar is shit.

 

[Krishnan]

I wish I could buy some gaydar at the corner store. Mine sucks.

 

[Georgiadude]

mine is pretty good. Not 100 percent by any means but I can usually get a vibe. Not exactly sure what it is really. I just get a feeling some times and more often than not it's right.

funny story. Some friends and I were at a local bar playing trivia one night. They are all straight and know that I'm gay. I saw 2 of my friends (a married couple) kinda of whispering back and forth but didn't pay much attention to it. Shortly after the wife said to me "we need your advice." I asked what it was about and they said "we can't decide if that guy over in the corner is gay or not. what does your daydar say." I looked over and all the bells and whistles went off. Don't know what it was. Just got that feeling. I said "yep. no doubt in my mind." About 10 minutes later in walks this very obviously gay guy. They hugged and kissed and sat together in a booth. (both on the same side). My friends were just laughing and couldn't believe I was right. I'm sure I've been wrong too. I can't explain it. I just get a feeling.

 

[red1979]

Unless their dress, speech, or mannerisms are blatantly obvious give-aways,

If there are butch gay guys there are certainly effeminate str8 guys, contrary to popular opinion.

 

[HisBlueEyes]

HAH. Wow. It's funny how this works.

The other day, I wasd out with a friend and we had these few seconds of eye contact. It was really odd, because I knew straight guys turned away after 3 seconds. It wasn't romantic, just staring at each other from what was said. Happened twice with two different people. I later found out both were curious.

There's definitely a way to check Gaydar. HotSwimmer's got it.

 

[KnightRider]

There is definately something to eye contact but I think there is quite a bit more to it, I know plenty of straight (yes, really straight) guys who are intense with eye contact. Then there are either straight or closeted gay guys who think you are trying to intimidate them by staring. This has led to problems here and there. And lastly there are straight or closeted guys who are aware of what you are doing with extra eye contact and resent it. Unless you are obviously gay by mannerisms, surprising people by eyeballing them doesn't necessarily flow well.

 

[hylas]

"gaydar" is something you can discuss forever, but ultimately doesnt really matter that much. what you really want is a "is he into me"-dar. and thats really quite easy. is he always looking at you whenever youre looking at him? is he doing that "barely noticable yet undeniably there smile"-thing to you? is he super friendly if you talk to him about nothing in particular? does he have a tendency to wrap his lips around your cock? if the answer is yes, yes, yes, and yes, then hes into you ^^

 

[mike_n_herrin]

Mine is non-existent...most people barely have one...it's ok

yeah same here.

 

[adversary2113]

I don't really know about gaydar. I don't see to have it. But I have noticed that the last three guys I've had relationship with all looked and acted straight, but they all three had very similar builds. Since then, I've kept track and damn if most of the guys I know with that build aren't gay/bi or known to be curious.

And I should add that I don't run with a really gay crowd, down here in semi rural Mississippi.

 

[alexunited]

I think "gaydar" is more than just eye contact and even noticing how a person dresses. Some of us suffer a form of Asperger that affects our gaydar - in essence, there are guys (like myself) who has never learned (or have the innate ability) to pick up on certain social/personality cues that would make it easy to identify other gay guys.

Perhaps it may be because some of us do not hang with a regular crowd that are mainly gay. Maybe some of us are just conditioned to believe that all men are str8 until they say/act otherwise.

I was at a dinner party with some friends. It was a mixed bunch. A couple (male and female) sat opposite us. At least I thought they were a str8 couple until a few days later I was notified that the guy was gay. I know I know... just because a guy is hanging out or having dinner with a girl, I shouldn't assume but apparently everyone knew about this guy (even my BF, who has never met him before) while I was in the dark the whole time. I wish I had better gaydar. It would so make my life easier.

 

[AngelFromAbove]

I think "gaydar" is more than just eye contact and even noticing how a person dresses. Some of us suffer a form of Asperger that affects our gaydar

Maybe it's not Asperger syndrome. Maybe it's simply that it does not exist? At some point, if anyone guesses enough, he or she is going to identify someone who is gay or bisexual.

in essence, there are guys (like myself) who has never learned (or have the innate ability) to pick up on certain social/personality cues that would make it easy to identify other gay guys.

Personally, the guys who claim to have some sort of innate ability either have hopedar or they simply use stereotypes to confirm what they knew. Unfortunately, I've never heard anything verified that gay men have a better sense of who's into the same sex.

 

[Kyanimal]

I've found my "Gaydar" to be pretty accurate. "The LOOK!" has proven to be a good "Tell"! Though we might think we're being ever so discrete, our unconscious body language tends to give us "away", in spite of our intentions!

We're all Social Animals! And, if we let ourselves "go with the flow", we can often "sense" what our fellow humans are really feeling/thinking.

If a Guy is "interested", whether he Believes he's safely "closeted", or not, he's still going to be "radiating" his True feelings for all who are within "range", and who are sensitive enough to "pick up" on his natural "signs".

And, it doesn't even have to be a personal thing "aimed" at You! It can simply be a brief moment of an "interest" in other Guys in general!

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[Mstrshake]

I have no gaydar, whatsoever. Unless it's completely in-your-face obvious, I won't pick up on it. Unfortunate but true.

 

[Reality101]

I might have gaydar. Since recognizing my bisexuality, I have experienced tension between me and other guys. I'm not sure if they were gay/bi, but they definitely seemed curious about something. It could be that I'm subconsciously sending out a vibe and their just picking up what I'm putting down. I don't think I'm very smooth about checking guys out

Op, try being alert to glances and body language. I can't really help much. I'm lost on this too really.

 

[hylas]

gotta agree with angel from above. some guys are visibly gay, its easy to see if you are aware. but there are (presumably) lots of closeted queers that we never even notice. even if you claim you have a superb gaydar, you never really know how accurate it really is, do you? maybe you just walked through a crowd of deeply closeted faggots, but youll never know. its impossible to get empirical data, even if you asked each and every guy you meet, they still might be lying.

somewhat funny anecdote: i have a gay friend who always claims "hes gay!" about every guy he notices. of course, most of the time hes wrong, but every now and then, hes right, and then he triumphantly goes: "told you!"