HELP: Straight but curious married man

[bottomcurioushusband]

Hi,
I am 44, married with two kids. I have never found men attractive and would not even consider myself bi...yet the past two months I have had many fantasies of sucking a cock or eventually taking a cock in my ass. Has anyone else had similiar desires out of the blue.

I don't want to fuck a man...yet, I do fantasise being a bottom...maybe I am having a mid-life crisis...

Any advice or suggestions would be helpful...

 

[MoufOfKhaos]

You're married with two kids.

You want a suggestion? Don't cheat.

 

[superidealiste]

bottomcurioushusband...judging from your spelling of "fantasise", are you British? What are you doing here so early in the morning, it's 4:28am in London right?

 

[bottomcurioushusband]

bottomcurioushusband...judging from your spelling of "fantasise", are you British? What are you doing here so early in the morning, it's 4:28am in London right?

Canadian actually...

 

[superidealiste]

Canadian actually...

I really think you should explore your sexuality. Go get fucked and start from there.

 

[asu1117]

You're married with two kids.

You want a suggestion? Don't cheat.

Co-sign. .....

 

[Ninja108]

Advise to help you cheat on and humilate your spouse? Not going to happen.

 

[BINOWGAYLATER]

Starting with "I have never found men attractive" -- then leave your fantasies right there -- and don't act on them -- odds are it won't be as good as you imagine --- again - based on your initial statement -- and then there will be guilt, etc...
check out some tumblr pics -- read some good stories in the Stories forum (here) - and whack it like a monkey in a mango tree --- stick something appropriate in your hole if you think you'd like that -- but be careful - you can hurt stuff ---
at least when you're doing it by yourself - you're doing it with someone you like.

 

[Soilwork]

Unless your wife knows what's up... Keep it as a fantasy.

Even to us gay folk, marriage means something.

 

[superidealiste]

Marriage does not mean anything if you are not happy in it, or if it makes you feel like you're in a prison. Get out and don't delay gratification. Indulge yourself. Go get fucked seriously. It's only then that you could really stop asking "what if"or say "I could've or I should've" and stop imagining. You can only have an informed decision or at least some certainty with your sexuality when you've tried it, meaning get fucked. Your wife and kids don't deserve to be with someone who is not sure yet or who might be craving for cock or to be fucked by a cock or who might be pretending to be straight. Get fucked and then you can be sure about yourself.

There is a recent and related movie about this entitled Beginner which won Christopher Plummer the Golden Globes Best Actor this month. It tells about a man who, after the death of his wife of 45 years, comes out as a gay man. He is the "Beginner".

 

[hotb0d]

let's go with: stay on your 'straight' side. Do not cross that bridge. Temptation can lead to small satisfaction but you'll regret that you're a weak man for the rest of your life. You're already in your 40s, I hope you know better.

 

[Seasoned]

I waited until I was 31 to have sex with another guy. I was married and by the time I left the marriage I had two kids. I place absolutely no judgement on you. Only you have walked in your shoes and only you can sort this out. You may need the help of a good therapist. In my case it was as if a kernel of desire had been growing in my heart and mind all my life getting to the point where I thought I was going to burst.

Good luck to you. Feel free to pm me.

 

[Fuzzy1]

Have you thought of using a Dildo that way you'll get an idea of the feeling of bottoming and you won't be cheating, also if you feel your wife is up to the fantasy you might add some excitement to your heterosexual love life, increasing your sexual repotoire while still staying faithful.

 

[giorgiobaby]

I agree with Fuzzy, try using a Dildo first....if you like it. Maybe you should talk with your wife about your feelings and you can come to an agreement about how to fulfill your fantasies without cheating.

 

[Latimer]

The only advice I can give without hesitation is DO NOT TELL YOUR WIFE. Fantasies are not reality, and as yet you have only fantasies. Do not burden her with this revelation.

 

[voyager1994]

If it's just a fantasy, keep it to yourself don't tell your wife as it's not real. But if you want to act on it, ask these questions before you do:

a) Are you prepared to risk your marriage?
b) Can you live with yourself if you cheated your wife and two kids?
c) Can you forgive yourself if you contracted a sexually-transmitted disease and infected your wife?
d) If you are in your wife's/children's shoes, how would your take it/react if you find out your husband/father is having sex with another man?

Talking about advice - seek professional help/see a therapist to help your thru this mid-life crisis. And if you decide to act on your fantasy, before you do you should tell your wife about it and take it from there. Marriage is there for a reason. Good luck!

 

[Asenath]

I'm going to have to disagree with the contingent that says not to tell your wife. If you tell her now, before you've done anything, you have at least a chance to salvage your marriage (under some open or 'monogamish' kind of arrangement) or remain as friends.

If she finds out after you've fooled around, it's curtains for you. Period.

It doesn't sound like you're going to restrain yourself - basically, you're asking us for permission to do whatever you like. And generally, we're not giving it. But if you sneak around to do it, it makes it that much harder for you to establish that post-marriage friendship for the sake of your kids.

(Also, maybe she'll help you experiment with butt play. Throw a Dildo in the mix. Buy her one of [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZ9-Mq6IY7Y"]these[/ame]. Maybe that will see you through to fidelity for now. . .when your kids are older, who knows?)

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

Hi,
I am 44, married with two kids. I have never found men attractive and would not even consider myself bi...yet the past two months I have had many fantasies of sucking a cock or eventually taking a cock in my ass. Has anyone else had similiar desires out of the blue.

I don't want to fuck a man...yet, I do fantasise being a bottom...maybe I am having a mid-life crisis...

Any advice or suggestions would be helpful...

well world ova males a got pick da woteva fa eons ans still taday ans flip um about see they make ya itch work or not
but now got tip sum locals ans stuff cause so dat progress
or go toruist ans dig up anythang wot go OOOH wot great gods from da skys cum ta clickclick ans make light

but if ya not a sure ya no wanna end up like lot males likes even internet 2 wot spend all a time make great speechs wot squirmsss all ova ways on how ta say wot a turd was befoa is forgat tip but still a got itch but is now saint Itchy ans know all secrets of a everythang ans make daily da great discova of obvious ta da butta polishas wot clean shoes

or sumthang

so get ya wife stuff didlo up ya shithole suck a baseball bat ans take family snap shot

maybe great civil nations invent anoda word add collections fa variations ons a theme

it da fashion fa eons

wanna be adventour sit on road cone ans get wear hot traffic cop uniform ans ya wife can blow whistle ans direct traffic of cars thangs

anyway

wonda if nations great systems meet up ta share HEY how play tanks? cause they no got da tank toys play with but a kind nations giv um sum ta go play with

well may ya wife enjoy finga up ya shitta ans ya make nice sucka fa partys

yeah ans hi wife excuse ma forgat

 

[fetaby]

Also, CO&R. It's a few doors down around the corner.

 

[oakpope]

I would go with Fuzzy, try with a Dildo If it does nothing for you, then you could put to rest your fantasy. If it does fulfill it, it would depend on the relationship you have with your wife. If you're confident she will not freak out too much, you could talk to her about adding some "variety" in your bedroom, tasting the water and maybe convince her to try a strap on with you.

What are your feelings for your wife ? Your curiosity may just be a fantasy, or a dsire to experiment thing with your body. Straight guys can enjoy anal sex without being gay. But maybe you're gay or bi, and have repress your feelings. We can't know, and maybe you should think about it a little while before doing anything, which could have life long consequences.

just my 2 cents.