mbamike
A Total Bottom
- Joined
- Nov 19, 2008
- Posts
- 15,502
- Reaction score
- 355
- Points
- 63
As soon as I read your post, I thought "Oh hell, the moral police is going to pound this poor guy!" I'm sorry for any pain they may have caused you.
To answer your question, yes I can relate. Not all of us had the luxury of facing our true sexuality during our teenage years or while we were in college. It could be because of religious up bring, family morals, personal situations, and the list continues as to why you are living as a straight guy. I did the same thing.
I spent most of my life living a straight life. I got married and had a kid too; all while secretly desiring to be with a man. I chose to suppress this desire because being gay is a choice and God was going to heal me from such desire if I just believed and stayed true to my faith. This is what I was taught and how I believed at the time.
Well, after 49 years of life, I was never healed from being gay and the desire remained. So, I decided to face my gay desire head on. I was going to get fucked by a real man. I had played with dildos for years. They were not enough. I wanted and needed a real man. I thought I would get ass fucked, not like it, and have this issue in my life behind me because I had faced the issue. Well, my hypothesis was wrong. It was the best sex of my entire life!
I found a guy on Adam4Adam, a gay hookup site, who agreed to hookup with me. I told him I was a gay virgin and wanted to experience gay sex. He had known he was gay since he was in his twenties. He is about three years younger than me.
Anyways, the sex was WONDERFUL as I have already stated. I have not looked back since. I hookup with guys as often as I can now.
I have regret that I did not face my sexuality earlier in my life, but there is nothing I can do about it. Those years are spent already. So, I must live today and tomorrow with my newly found sexuality.
I shared all this with you to let you know you are not alone and I am familiar with your situation. There is a reason for your fantasy. Until you face it head on, it will just keep festering and hounding you until it finally explodes. Sooner or later.
So my suggestion to you is to explore your sexuality. Read all you can about being gay and having gay sex, especially how to prepare to bottom. Find a guy and get fucked. If you don't enjoy it, then maybe it was just a fantasy. If it was the best sex of your life, then it is something more.
BTW, divorce is hell. Especially since there are kids involved. I have traveled down that road too.
I hope I have helped you. Please PM me if you have questions. I will be glad to respond.
To the moral police, I say "Back the fuck off!
You are just pointing out the obvious and adding more pain to an already painful situation! Guys like this does not need or want our judgement. They need and want our help! I know because I have walked in their shoes!
To answer your question, yes I can relate. Not all of us had the luxury of facing our true sexuality during our teenage years or while we were in college. It could be because of religious up bring, family morals, personal situations, and the list continues as to why you are living as a straight guy. I did the same thing.
I spent most of my life living a straight life. I got married and had a kid too; all while secretly desiring to be with a man. I chose to suppress this desire because being gay is a choice and God was going to heal me from such desire if I just believed and stayed true to my faith. This is what I was taught and how I believed at the time.
Well, after 49 years of life, I was never healed from being gay and the desire remained. So, I decided to face my gay desire head on. I was going to get fucked by a real man. I had played with dildos for years. They were not enough. I wanted and needed a real man. I thought I would get ass fucked, not like it, and have this issue in my life behind me because I had faced the issue. Well, my hypothesis was wrong. It was the best sex of my entire life!
I found a guy on Adam4Adam, a gay hookup site, who agreed to hookup with me. I told him I was a gay virgin and wanted to experience gay sex. He had known he was gay since he was in his twenties. He is about three years younger than me.
Anyways, the sex was WONDERFUL as I have already stated. I have not looked back since. I hookup with guys as often as I can now.
I have regret that I did not face my sexuality earlier in my life, but there is nothing I can do about it. Those years are spent already. So, I must live today and tomorrow with my newly found sexuality.
I shared all this with you to let you know you are not alone and I am familiar with your situation. There is a reason for your fantasy. Until you face it head on, it will just keep festering and hounding you until it finally explodes. Sooner or later.
So my suggestion to you is to explore your sexuality. Read all you can about being gay and having gay sex, especially how to prepare to bottom. Find a guy and get fucked. If you don't enjoy it, then maybe it was just a fantasy. If it was the best sex of your life, then it is something more.
BTW, divorce is hell. Especially since there are kids involved. I have traveled down that road too.
I hope I have helped you. Please PM me if you have questions. I will be glad to respond.
To the moral police, I say "Back the fuck off!
You are just pointing out the obvious and adding more pain to an already painful situation! Guys like this does not need or want our judgement. They need and want our help! I know because I have walked in their shoes! 
