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Help - What Do I Do???

starwars

starwars

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hey, im kinda a newbie and im having some real trouble regarding coming out, i really really wanna tell me best friend (who is a girl) but im living in fear that she is blatently gonna tell everybody, i know this because in 2006 she had a boyfriend who told her he was bisexual, so she dumps him after telling all of us lot (both our mates) and he starts going out with his bisexual best mate who is a girl who he then dumped for me (hes fully gay apparently now) anyway i really want to tell her because she is the only one in college i remotely trust but im not ready for everyone else to know cos believe me when i say my college is vicous, please help, what do i do???

***me and him are no longer together either :(
 
Face it you still have issues and I would say for now, keep it to yourself. A secret is no longer a secret once you tell one other individual. You know the history of the person you want to tell, but worry she will tell everyone, duh!, she did before so what makes you think it will be any different now? Unless of course you are just in it for the drama.
 
I would just tell you to keep it to yourself for as long as you can hold out. Because you really don't have to tell anybody of your sexuality. How long have you known your friend? I had a friend I knew since I was real little and we were living on the same road. When I was 17, I told her I was gay, but I didn't mean it then. I wanted to test her to see if she could keep my secret. She didn't. She soon told everyone we knew and it got around quickly. But I shot that out of her hands. To this day, everyone thinks I'm straight, even my parents. So if I were you, I would test her to see if she can be trusted. Tell her a different secret to see if she will tell that to others. Make sure that it's a secret that might make her want to tell. That is a way to see if your so called friends can be trusted. But it is all up to you on how you do it. Hope everything turns out okay.
 
Some friends, no matter how great they are, aren't good at keeping secrets. That doesn't make them bad friends, really, but it's something to keep in mind. You know something that you don't want anyone to know (yet), and you know from past experience that she can't be trusted with a secret. So don't trust her with one. :)

Lex
 
G-Lexington said:
Some friends, no matter how great they are, aren't good at keeping secrets. That doesn't make them bad friends, really, but it's something to keep in mind. You know something that you don't want anyone to know (yet), and you know from past experience that she can't be trusted with a secret. So don't trust her with one. :)

Lex
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I can't say that I agree with this. If you can't trust someone, then they are not good friends to keep around. I'm sorry, but I don't have friends that I can't trust. Friendship is all about trust. Just like a relationship is all about trust. If she told the secret of her boyfriend, which she loved probably. She doesn't deserve to have any friends at all. But since she told her boyfriends secret, then she never loved him or she wasn't a very good girlfriend to have.

starwars you would have to trust this person to hold your heart in their hands, if you can't do that, then they were never good friends to have around. But as I said before, it is all up to you. I can't really tell you what to do about this and neither can anyone else. But this is only my opinion and I'm sticking to it. lol. But as I said before in my earlier post, this is all up to you. So just remember, not everyone can be trusted. Hope everything works out for you in the long run.

Matt (Mi Libre Canción)
 
>>>So then if you can't trust her does it still make her a good friend? I am confused????

Potentially, yes. Friends are not perfect human beings. They have faults just like the rest of us. I don't have any trouble having a friend who isn't very good at keeping secrets. In fact, I have a couple. They're still there for me, and very supportive of me when needed, and we have a lot of fun together. But if a situation comes up where I'm privy to some information I don't want to become common knowledge yet, I just don't tell them. Perhaps that doesn't make them perfect friends, but it doesn't mean they're not friends.

Lex
 
anyway i really want to tell her because she is the only one in college i remotely trust
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She's the best you can do? Don't tell anyone you only remotely trust if you don't want to tell everybody.

Shakes head.
 
thanks for all your advice guys, it has actually helped, but the weird thing about her is that shes always telling me that being gay is disgusting, she hates lesbians more however, but while saying this she has other friends and relitives that are gay and lesbians and is actually quite 2 faced to them, one minute she ''loves'' them next its ''fuckin queer'', weird
 
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