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Help with close friend (Sorry, another one, slightly different this time).
- Thread starter hi_500
- Start date
Hey hi_500,
Mate... first of all...Welcome to JUB! Its good to have you here!
Dont feel pressured either way into rushing this decision. It was a really good idea to ask for advice - along with the way you handled yourself on holiday its a sign of the guy you are... what you beleive in, your values and the way you respect both yourself and your friend.
The advice that you've got here is pretty good... some of it delivered a little matter of factly perhaps but all of these guys do want to offer help and support.
Sometimes we read into things that are said by others, what we want to hear. Its human nature and your feelings for your friend are most likely clouding your judgment a little.
My guess is that his statement about sorting this out is about himself not you. And its about the pressure hes feeling from this friends and family as they keep telling him that you fancy him. He's most likely trying to figure you out and reconcile the feelings of those around him telling him perhaps to be wary or careful around you because they see him getting into a situation he may not want to be in.
The good news is mate, that he's chosen your freindship. Sure its been a little less than it was but he hasn't shut you out... he hasn't walked away. Hes trying to be cautious with his own feelings and yours until hes completely comfortable with all thats happened.
I would stay quiet. It'll be incredibly hard to do...crushes are painful at best when its one way, but for now you have no choice. Your freindship with him...and his with you is a valuable gift thats hard to replace... and he really seems like he wants it to continue. And obviously mate if its a choice between that and nothing, you would take freindship too.
We cant help who we love hi. But we can make sacrifices that seem huge to keep people close. Your the sort of guy who's sense of good and right or wrong suggests to me that as hard as it will be for you, you'll make the right decision.
In time it will pass - thats a promise. And one day when the dust really has settled you'll be able to tell him and laugh about. But not yet...
You have our support and freindship mate... we are beside you as you go through this. Dont ever be afraid to ask for help or advice...its the least we can do.
Mate... first of all...Welcome to JUB! Its good to have you here!
Dont feel pressured either way into rushing this decision. It was a really good idea to ask for advice - along with the way you handled yourself on holiday its a sign of the guy you are... what you beleive in, your values and the way you respect both yourself and your friend.
The advice that you've got here is pretty good... some of it delivered a little matter of factly perhaps but all of these guys do want to offer help and support.
Sometimes we read into things that are said by others, what we want to hear. Its human nature and your feelings for your friend are most likely clouding your judgment a little.
My guess is that his statement about sorting this out is about himself not you. And its about the pressure hes feeling from this friends and family as they keep telling him that you fancy him. He's most likely trying to figure you out and reconcile the feelings of those around him telling him perhaps to be wary or careful around you because they see him getting into a situation he may not want to be in.
The good news is mate, that he's chosen your freindship. Sure its been a little less than it was but he hasn't shut you out... he hasn't walked away. Hes trying to be cautious with his own feelings and yours until hes completely comfortable with all thats happened.
I would stay quiet. It'll be incredibly hard to do...crushes are painful at best when its one way, but for now you have no choice. Your freindship with him...and his with you is a valuable gift thats hard to replace... and he really seems like he wants it to continue. And obviously mate if its a choice between that and nothing, you would take freindship too.
We cant help who we love hi. But we can make sacrifices that seem huge to keep people close. Your the sort of guy who's sense of good and right or wrong suggests to me that as hard as it will be for you, you'll make the right decision.
In time it will pass - thats a promise. And one day when the dust really has settled you'll be able to tell him and laugh about. But not yet...
You have our support and freindship mate... we are beside you as you go through this. Dont ever be afraid to ask for help or advice...its the least we can do.
thermodynamics
Resident Enginerd
Well, I was in your predicament a while ago.
I told him that I liked him, and it was the beginning of the end of our friendship. If you tell him that you like him, it is *very* likely that you will have ended the friendship.
But then again, if you don't tell him, you're going to keep being a mental wreck. The only way to get over him is to stop seeing him--putting some distance between yourselves
So you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.
You're going to have to make a choice:
1. tell him, and almost certainly destroy the friendship. This will help you get over him, but will likely leave him confused and feeling bad.
2. Tell him that you think you two need to stay apart for a while. It will help you get over him, but it is weird telling someone that you need to stay away from them without a reason.
In my case, I chose option 1. It ruined the friendship. But option 2 isn't much better.
I told him that I liked him, and it was the beginning of the end of our friendship. If you tell him that you like him, it is *very* likely that you will have ended the friendship.
But then again, if you don't tell him, you're going to keep being a mental wreck. The only way to get over him is to stop seeing him--putting some distance between yourselves
So you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.
You're going to have to make a choice:
1. tell him, and almost certainly destroy the friendship. This will help you get over him, but will likely leave him confused and feeling bad.
2. Tell him that you think you two need to stay apart for a while. It will help you get over him, but it is weird telling someone that you need to stay away from them without a reason.
In my case, I chose option 1. It ruined the friendship. But option 2 isn't much better.
Candyapple
Slut
And still, I don't understand why you take 'I can sort myself out' as meaning 'I want you to do sexual things to me sometimes'. I can sort myself out. Not, 'you can sort me out'.
