help with friend....

[slnattak]

So I'm trying to come out of the closet and I have a friend that says 'fag' hatefully to me sometimes. I try not to let it bother me, but he doesn't do it in a joking way, it's like he's actually trying to hurt my feelings or he doesn't like it. He also seems pretty negative/angry all the time, and seems to go out of his way to bully people.

I'm thinking about ditching him as a friend because he always says 'gay' this and 'fag' that. I don't really mind that, I'm not politically correct but the severity in which he does it is pretty annoying. He says 'That's so gay' every few seconds. But me confronting it just seems like to him he's won cause that's what he wants to do, he wants to bother me and like get a reaction from me.

I think I'll feel better once I lose this friend. We haven't really known each other for that long anyway, and he's not really going to change (you can't make another person behave differently I know that)

I don't care about gay jokes really but the level of what he does it just gets annoying. So I don't think this is a matter of me being too sensitive. It's just hard to hang out with him anymore because it's all fag shit with him all the time. 'oh that guy is such a fag, he's soooo gay.'

 

[rareboy]

I think I'll feel better once I lose this friend. We haven't really known each other for that long anyway, and he's not really going to change (you can't make another person behave differently I know that)

There. That wasn't difficult at all was it?

 

[KaraBulut]

So I'm trying to come out of the closet and I have a friend that says 'fag' hatefully to me sometimes. I try not to let it bother me, but he doesn't do it in a joking way, it's like he's actually trying to hurt my feelings or he doesn't like it. He also seems pretty negative/angry all the time, and seems to go out of his way to bully people.

Ah... "friends" like this....

You tell them.

You try to educate them.

If they are not teachable, you dispose of them. One way or another.

 

[trawler69]

How does one define "Friend"? He certainly doesn't fall into my definition of one. "acquaintance" at best, asshole at worst.

 

[G-Lexington]

You can call him out on it. Just say, "Dude, why all the 'gay' and 'fag' comments? I mean, I'm gay, and even I don't talk about it that much."

Lex

 

[Kinsho]

Are you in the process of coming out to others and he knows that you are gay and he is still saying these things? If so definitely drop him as a friend. If not then from what you described once you are out I don't think it will get any better.

 

[tallguy297]

Hey slnattak,

Mate I have watched your threads for a long time, and the news that you are trying to come out of the closet is the best I have heard in a long time.

Personally I think its critical for you to take this step and get on with living your life and getting past the struggle you have with yourself image - this is the most critical thing you cnn do to prove to yourself how important and valuable you are - no matter what your sexuality is.

So with that in mind mate, burn this guy... right now. And dont look back.

You dont need anyone or anything undermining your strength or resolve to take this step... especially someone who will do little to offer you support or understanding.

You deserve better mates that him... and by coming out there will be a truthfulness thats been missing up till now. Consider it a new beginning slnattak... one where you get to choose who knows the real you... and he shouldnt be one of them.