Help with subtext, plz

[thisisinteresting]

bettering yourself personally by consulting some hyped-up guru

not what we're talking about.

I do know, as surely as I know I can't change my sexuality, that I can't change my personality.

You have the wrong approach. It's not about changing your personality. That's not something you change. You'll get it one day. Just open your mind to the thought for a minute. Just try it. You don't even have to actively try to make self-improvements, just open your idea to the concept. You're shutting it out because it's too hard. One step at a time.

Or you can just keep the defeatist attitude and be sad all your life. If you prefer to wallow in pity, by all means. Despite everything you say, you DO have the power to improve yourself and your attitude.

 

[rareboy]

Call them character flaws or determinist victimizations, I don't care.

Okay.

They're character flaws and determinist victimizations.

Whatever you think that means.

 

[G-Lexington]

If you can't find happiness where others do, STOP LOOKING THERE. I certainly don't enjoy the things that most other people seem to (be that movies, most sporting events, or Britney Spears), but I didn't announce that made me incapable of enjoying life. It just means I had to look elsewhere. Yeah, it confuses my friends (and especially strangers) to see my weird choices in books and music and diversions, but the end result is that I'm happier because of them. And one's happiness isn't inversely proportional to one's station in life. I've taken luxury vacations, and also been poor enough that "a week off" meant a 12 pack of generic soda, a box of crackers, and a stack of library books. And I've enjoyed both immensely.

And seeking help for mental or emotional issues isn't bowing to a guru anymore than having the guy in the ER set your broken leg is letting the witch doctor work his black magicks. Something is apparently wrong, and it's best to get proactive about it than it is to just hope you'll find a guy who will take it all in stride. But if you've already decide that "this is how I am, and none shall change me", then really, there's nothing more we can do.

Lex

 

[Treborf]

I think happiness, stability, and social function are internal and relatively fixed.
The old narrative about bettering yourself personally by consulting some hyped-up guru is just as big a lie as the American Dream, bettering yourself economically by working for some greedy corporation.
I can't find happiness where normal people find happiness. I don't know why I ever tried. I'm done with trying to change myself. I am too wilful and too inflexible. Call them character flaws or determinist victimizations, I don't care. I do know, as surely as I know I can't change my sexuality, that I can't change my personality.
That is why I say thanks for the advice, but...

Heh...kind of off-topic, but you sound exactly like me a few years ago. The navel-gazing, the neuroticism, the self-pity talk, I mean. For me, all that was just a way of justifying the aspects of myself that I didn't like, all while maintaining my ego - as if my psyche were so precious and uniquely disturbed that all attempts at self-improvement were foolish. Now all that may not but true of you, but in any case, you really ought to ditch the self-pityand work on becoming the person you want to be (and please don't try to convince yourself that you already are the person you want to be). You probably will eventually anyway, but you should start now - your future self will only regret all the time he spent wallowing in his unhappiness instead of improving his circumstances.

 

[G-Lexington]

And my idea of fun is to continue spouting advice.

>>>I see your point. The difference is that a surgeon is a scientifically-informed engineer with skills I lack (even if I didn't lack them, I'd be too incapacitated to use them). A shrink is not doing science or medicine but merely listening and, if asked, spitting out an opinion calibrated to mollify. Also known as a handsomely paid friend.

Really and truly? So why do they stay in school so long? What do they study? Advanced Pretend Friending? Caring - How to Fake It? I've seen a couple therapists in my time, and none of them either spouted platitudes or pretended to befriend me. They treated me the same way my doctors treated me. Something was wrong, they tried to diagnose it, they suggested a course of treatment, and eventually I was in a better spot. Yeah, there was more trial and error with the therapists, but as there were no quantifiable symptoms as there are with a medical issue, and the only source of info was what I told the therapist, one can hardly be surprised by this. And once I was in a better spot, my therapists were pleased, I said thanks, and never saw them again. I never considered them friends-for-hire.

And yeah, I paid them. It seems mental health is one item people feel should be given out of the goodness of their hearts . Tell your mechanic that if he really cared about your car and well-being, he wouldn't charge you.

Lex