Help!

[kingdomheartsfreak]

Ok heres the deal, no one in my life knows i'm gay and i really don't know how to tell them, has anyone got any advice?

 

[EJMichaels]

Are there certain people you are considering telling? Or are you trying to figure out who to tell?
If you want to tell certain people, do you know why? Other than it feeling good to tell. Do you have reasons, things you hope will happen?

I remember how important it was to find someone to tell. I don't remember exactly why, but it was over 30 years ago.


Answers to these questions might help point you in the right direction.

 

[Hot White Trash]

I started by telling a good friend. Its important that you tell someone you trust. The friend I told was a girl I hung out with and who people thought I was dating. She was very cool about it and the next thing I knew she was trying to set me up with someone. That really let me know there wasn't much to be afraid of.

It helps that I have an older brother who is gay. But not everyone reacted good. My sister was a total bitch about it.

 

[EJMichaels]

I just noticed the sticky in this forum -"How to come out?" That might have something good.
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=115964

I just don't remember much about how I did it - probably a few of my close friends first. One wasn't comfortable with it. My mother went through my stuff and found out. I told my father on my own, which is how I found out about my mother. He was very cool about it. She wasn't.

 

[Chardius]

There is a couple questions you might consider asking yourself, who in your life do you trust most? And more importantly, how did they gain your trust? For instance I did not trust my family, as much as it sucked I didn't feel I could trust them as much as I could trust my friends. I chose my friends for starters, and they were all instantly cool with it. When I told my family, my parents were getting through their divorce. I told my mom and she told my dad. Which considering the context is a pretty crappy thing to do to my dad. I don't know what was going through her head when she did that but I wanted to tell him myself and she took that from me. It wasn't the worst outcome by a long shot but i did discover that my mother is a blabber mouth.

Coming out is hard, you can lose friends, family can react badly, and it can be really painful. It is also incredibly freeing, uplifting, and can show you who your true friends are. Your first is one of the hardest, depending on the relationship your family might be the hardest ones to tell. I built a support group of friends that I had told before I told my family. The best advice I can give is be smart about this, come out on your own terms, and try to have a safety net of support. Tell the person you trust the most to not freak out first and slowly build. Be mindful of the social connections, if you are in high school and so are siblings, then don't be surprised when they find out through a grapevine if you tell a bunch of friends first. I got the ball rolling with less than 10 people the summer of my junior year, by the time school started I was out of the closet.

I wish you the best of luck, we might be able to help better if you give us more information about your situation.

 

[PokerFace]

Try telling ur closest friend and see how u feel and go from there. Good Luck.

 

[kingdomheartsfreak]

Right, ok, i told one of my friends like you guys said, i've known her since i was 5, we where sitting in her room playing Kingdom Hearts funnily enough, she joked that "Captain Jack has gotta be gay moving like that", i replied that "I don't think that was the intention but i am" (possibly not the best way to break the news, but i didn't know how to bring it up), her response was to laugh and say "yeah right", i sighed and said, "Yes, i am", she went quiet for a few minutes after that before (and this is weird) she kissed me, i pushed her of and she laughed "I was just checking", a lot of other things where said after that which i don't wanna share yet, but she's ok with it. In some ways i'm relived that someone knows, but on the other hand, she's the most excepting of my friends and even she's slightly homophobic, so i'm not sure where to start next.

 

[Spiffy]

"Captain Jack has gotta be gay moving like that", i replied that "I don't think that was the intention but i am".

In some ways i'm relived that someone knows, but on the other hand, she's the most excepting of my friends and even she's slightly homophobic, so i'm not sure where to start next.

Way to dropp a bomb ... Its good that you came out to someone though. I've been slowly easing my way out of the closet lately. All my close friends know and even some not so close ones. Right now the only thing stopping me from being fully out is the fact that my parents don't know yet.

Whatever you do or whoever you tell just take your time if you need it. It doesn't all need to happen at the same time

P.S. don't really play the game much, but i love the music

 

[PokerFace]

Ur friend might just need some time to get used to it cos like you've said she's known u since u were five so she's seen u as straight all these years. Hopefully she'll get used to the idea and you's can carry on like you's have all these years. She might have just been waiting for u to say just kidding in those minutes of silence before she fully reacted to it.
Some of ur other friends might surprise u and be totally accepting accepting. But if ur worried just take ur time with it and come out slowly to the people u feel most comfortable with.


Congrats by the way on ur mini coming out. I might take a leaf out of ur book and tell someone myself soon lol.