Helping a family member recover from alcoholism

[Dominus]

I quickly mentioned in another thread about this.

This past Monday, almost my entire family got together for an intervention. My brother has been an alcoholic for a long time. Years. It has gotten really bad the last year.

We had a couple intervention counselors with us. My brother has always been someone with the biggest ego and the hardest head I know. Since the counselors couldn't force my brother to do anything, and there wasn't enough cause to force him into anything, they had to leave. The family, including his 2 adult children, spent about 4 hours trying to convince him to go to ER. We finally got him to agree.

This was Monday. They drew his blood and got the result of a BAC of 2.8. That's after at least 7 hours of not drinking anything.

They admitted him and he is now detoxing in the hospital. We are taking turns staying with him.

He is now going through withdrawal. They have been checking his blood regularly and giving him medication to help with the withdrawal. He's got elevated blood pressure, heartrate, and temperature. And his hands are shaking. He has trouble controling his bodily functions. He has to use a walker to go to the bathroom. He is only 50, but oh my goodness he seems like an 80 year old.

Addiction is no fun. If you think you are addicted to something or have a family member that has an addiction, try to get help ASAP!

Our next goal is to get him into a rehab facility for at least a month long program.

 

[unloadonme]

The very best of luck. Your brother must want to quit for any treatment to be effective. If he's just bowing to family pressure, there's a strong risk that he'll be back on the sauce as soon as the coast is clear.

 

[Dargelos]

That is exactly what I was going to say. I used to drink a lot, I stopped when I wanted to stop for myself, not for anybody else. Appeals of 'what about your family' 'what about your job' 'what about your friends' do more harm than good. He has control his drinking for his own sake, so he himself will feel better, look better, live longer and have some money to spend. Do not ever make him feel guilty for all the problems he has caused. Don't even expect any thanks. True friendship is unconditional, I am certain that you will be the truest of friends.

 

[LeicsDom]

I used to smoke. For 44 years.
My Doctors had been telling me for years how bad it was for y health but I always countered with 'But I enjoy it'
I knew it was bad for me but I was never ready to quit.
Then several factors occurred at the same time and I finally quit. But, as has been said above, it didn't matter what anyone else told me, I had to wait til I wanted to quit for it to work.
Quitting happened 18 years ago this October and I haven't been tempted to start again.
Good luck with the OP's brother

 

[rareboy]

It sounds as though the 'fun' was gone from being a 'functional' alcoholic.

Alcoholism runs in our family genes, so I am always aware of the slipperiness of that slope.

 

[Franco Verum]

I quickly mentioned in another thread about this.

This past Monday, almost my entire family got together for an intervention. My brother has been an alcoholic for a long time. Years. It has gotten really bad the last year.

We had a couple intervention counselors with us. My brother has always been someone with the biggest ego and the hardest head I know. Since the counselors couldn't force my brother to do anything, and there wasn't enough cause to force him into anything, they had to leave. The family, including his 2 adult children, spent about 4 hours trying to convince him to go to ER. We finally got him to agree.

This was Monday. They drew his blood and got the result of a BAC of 2.8. That's after at least 7 hours of not drinking anything.

They admitted him and he is now detoxing in the hospital. We are taking turns staying with him.

He is now going through withdrawal. They have been checking his blood regularly and giving him medication to help with the withdrawal. He's got elevated blood pressure, heartrate, and temperature. And his hands are shaking. He has trouble controling his bodily functions. He has to use a walker to go to the bathroom. He is only 50, but oh my goodness he seems like an 80 year old.

Addiction is no fun. If you think you are addicted to something or have a family member that has an addiction, try to get help ASAP!

Our next goal is to get him into a rehab facility for at least a month long program.

I don't know how you'll take this, but I'll pray for him.

 

[Dominus]

It sounds as though the 'fun' was gone from being a 'functional' alcoholic.

Alcoholism runs in our family genes, so I am always aware of the slipperiness of that slope.

So, I got 2 brothers. My oldest brother is the alcoholic I was talking about. My 2nd brother drinks socially and sometimes pretend to be drunk to leave a party. I have personally seen him stumbling around and then be completely sober the moment he's out of the scene.

And then there's me the youngest. I don't drink at all. Not a drop. I don't enjoy the taste and I don't enjoy the affects it has on me. Haven't had a drop for like 10 years.

So, us 3 brothers represent the different relationships to alcohol.

 

[Dominus]

All the rehab places in the Chicago area were either full or won't accept him because of his medical risk.

My 2nd brother suggested he come over here to the Indianapolis area.

Quick bragging for the next part to make sense. My 2nd brother is like the local godfather. He has connections everywhere here. He owns a dozen businesses and is the go-to guy to make things happen to the Viet people around here.

So, I drove him from the hospital in Chicago to indy. It was fun on the way considering he had no control over his bowel movement and stuff. Learned something new. Apparently, extreme alcohol withdrawal makes you lose control of your bodily functions. After throwing away several underwear and pants, it finally occurred to me to buy him some adult diapers. Why the hell didn't I think of that sooner?

My 2nd brother got my 1st brother in a rehab facility that has a medical staff on hand. Since he cannot walk due to a previous injury that's been magnified by recent events. They also got physical therapy and stuff on hand. Fun fact, it costs about $1k/day to be at a place like that. Thank goodness for my 2nd brother who is footing the bill.

I am describing these kinda stuff in detail to deter anyone who wants to slip into alcoholism. It's a mess you will be putting yourself and family in.

My 2nd brother just bought a house a few minutes from him. He and I will try to keep our 1st brother here in indy. He can live in the house my 2nd brother just bought. My 2nd brother is working on procurring him a job here. The idea is a total change of scenery for him to start anew. And we both can take care of him.