He's Handsome, Nice, Gay,,, And I want him!

[crubbed]

Okay, here's the thing.

It's my last year at my university. And there's this guy who works in the Tech Department - he takes care of all the computer stuff. He's 24 and HANDSOME. A great body, beautiful face, charming manners. He's one of the most beautiful men I've ever seen. I've 'known' him for 4 years, but never really care about him 'cause I thought he was straight. Then, last year...

...I bumped into him at a gay disco. He pretended not seeing me, hence I realized he was somehow in the closet. So, whenever I bumped again into him at my university, I did not say hi or anything. I kept walking as if I did not know anything about him, because I realized that I made him uncomfortable. But at least I finally knew he was GAY. And I was in heaven.

Flashforward to October 2010. I go to my favourite disco again, and guess who's working there as a GOGO boy now? Him. The Computers Guy. As soon as I realized it was him, I was SPEECHLESS. He saw me from the stage and he waved his hand at me. Then he hopped off the stage and came over to me and we talked a little. We shook hands (after 4 years!), he told me his name, I told him mine. He asked me to keep quiet about his job as a GOGOboy, even though his bosses knew about it -- but still he didn't want students to gossip. I agreed.

Then, in December, his bosses complained about his second job and asked him to leave it. He left his job as a gogo boy. That's what he told me on his last night at the disco. Since then, we've randomly bumped into each other at my university. We never really talked again, 'cause he's always so busy. And then again, I blush when I'm around him, and I can't utter any single effing word. That's because I have a crush on him. But he must think that I'm retarded.

The thing is: I WANT him. He's HANDSOME and he seems like a GOOD, honest GUY. Definitely what I'm looking for. But I don't think I can force any type of relationship on him. Should I ask him for his number? Or would that be too much? Should I tell him I have a stupid crush on him, just for honesty's sake? Or would that ruin every chance I have with him? I thought I could ask him for his msn or something (since I'm not on Facebook... shit!), and then try to get to know him better at least.

We have common interests (politics, guys...). It's just that we don't have a chance to develop anything. We live like in two worlds apart.

Plus, I suspect that he's a bottom, and he's looking for a beefy top. Which I am not. I am a slim bottom, for now at least. (but I wouldn't complain if I had to top him... he's just that handsome) That's another thing that's preventing me from try and hit on him.

It's just that it's my last year here. I'm feeling it's the last chance I have to start something with him. But I'm a mess when it comes to this stuff. Any advice?

 

[shainski]

Well, if it were me, i would keep it really simple. Just ask him if he would like to get a cup of coffee sometime. If he says yes, then you can find areas of common interest. If he says he doesn't have time, then you have your answer without it being too awkward.

Don't build it up too much before you've even really met.

 

[wastedtime]

well you could download a virus onto your computer and take it to him for help, but I wouldn't recommend it.

Better idea would be the next time you talk, just say hey if you ever want to get ahold of me heres my number (or msn). This gives an opportunity for more contact without being pushy.

One thing to remember, even though they may not show it, everyone gets insecure. He may be just as nervous as you are.

 

[hylas]

"hey, i was thinking, you wanna go out sometime?"

 

[Rand]

From your statements, you already fear that you are not his type. Hence he is not lusting after you as you are after him. It is probably too late to tell you not to fall into lust over him or think that you are in love. It is probably too late to tell you to try to be a friend first and foremost and see what happens.

It might not be too late, however, to tell you to go after your desires. Know that you might not gain all of them, but do try. Be gracious in your efforts though.

Best of luck - celebrate your life,
Rand

 

[saymyname]

You keep GUSHING over how handsome he is like you have never seen or been with a hot guy in your life... is he out of your league? I mean, I'm not saying don't talk to him, but you've known the guy for four years and nothing has happened.

 

[looseliam]

"hey, i was thinking, you wanna go out sometime?"

.

 

[crubbed]

Well, if it were me, i would keep it really simple. Just ask him if he would like to get a cup of coffee sometime. If he says yes, then you can find areas of common interest. If he says he doesn't have time, then you have your answer without it being too awkward.

Don't build it up too much before you've even really met.

Okay, but at times you don't like a person instantly. You have to build it up. Look at my first and only boyfriend for example. I didn't care about him at first. But we kept hanging out together ('cause he became part of my group of friends), I got to know him better and eventually I fell for him. Had he asked me to go out with him alone, I would have said no. If anything I would have not gone out with him not to illude him, you know.

That's why I think it's better not to ask him for his number. Or am I overthinking it?

well you could download a virus onto your computer and take it to him for help, but I wouldn't recommend it.

I already did that (minus the downloading part) But he's not as computer savvy as I thought he was!

From your statements, you already fear that you are not his type. Hence he is not lusting after you as you are after him. It is probably too late to tell you not to fall into lust over him or think that you are in love. It is probably too late to tell you to try to be a friend first and foremost and see what happens.

I can assure you that I am more than willing to become just friends with him, I am at peace with the fact that we might not be meant to be. I just don't want to waste opportunities.

You keep GUSHING over how handsome he is like you have never seen or been with a hot guy in your life... is he out of your league?

Yeah. It's not like I'm bad-looking, but he's just heavenly looking He could have anyone he wants. But I've never seen him with a guy. Still he's always talking on the phone, or texting people.

I mean, I'm not saying don't talk to him, but you've known the guy for four years and nothing has happened.

Yeah, but for the most part I thought he was straight and did nothing. (I am sort of hetero-phobic LOL). Now things have changed.

I'm going to the disco tonight. Hope he's there! LOL

 

[Bent-On]

This thread is a loss without pics.

(J/K)

 

[shainski]

Okay, but at times you don't like a person instantly. You have to build it up. Look at my first and only boyfriend for example. I didn't care about him at first. But we kept hanging out together ('cause he became part of my group of friends), I got to know him better and eventually I fell for him. Had he asked me to go out with him alone, I would have said no. If anything I would have not gone out with him not to illude him, you know.

That's why I think it's better not to ask him for his number. Or am I overthinking it?

You've known him for four years already. It's not going to happen all by itself - or it would have. I think you should try to find areas of common interest to develop a friendship.

Would you have refused to even go out for a cup of coffee with your first boyfriend? (i'm not suggesting that you are going on a date). And if you are really that certain you would have, then it seems to me that your only option is to ask that he join you when a group of your friends are doing something.

And even if your first boyfriend would have gotten your refusal for such an offer, would it have tainted him forever that when you later met with a group of friends, you would have avoided him?

I think after four years, the old saying "Fish or cut bait" comes to mind. Do something or cut him loose and forget all about it.

 

[crubbed]

This thread is a loss without pics.

(J/K)

I know

Anyway I met him on Saturday night. I was the disco and I saw him. I said hi, and he came to me and said hi. I said: "It's so weird seeing you here with your clothes on" ('cause he's not a GOGO boy anymore). And he laughed. I admit to have been planning on telling him that ever since I can remember. It wasn't natural

He laughed and then a 5-minute-awkward-silence came up. I didn't know what else to say. Then he said: "Ok, I gotta go 'cause my boyfriend is waiting for me. I'll see you around". And I was like Okay... But truth be told I was like OMG! So, he has a boyfriend. It's not like I'm super shocked, I mean, he's so handsome, I knew it.

So, he's off-limits. I'm glad I know that, so at least I won't waste my time chasing someone who's already in love with someone else. I guess that leaves room for a friendship. And more importantly I'm quite positive that now that I know he's not available, I won't blush everytime he's around. I'm glad for him, and I hope I'll find someone as handsome

PS. still, I'm curious to see his boyfriend. I looked around for them at the disco but couldn't find them. I'd love to see what he looks like. xD

 

[looseliam]

So a boyfriend is not in the cards now.

How about a friend?

 

[Just_Believe18]

Well the fact that you had an awkward silence for five minutes shows there's not much chemistry going on between you besides feeling attracted to him. That's a bigger indicator for me not to pursue it than being disappointed that he had a boyfriend.

 

[crubbed]

Well the fact that you had an awkward silence for five minutes shows there's not much chemistry going on between you besides feeling attracted to him. That's a bigger indicator for me not to pursue it than being disappointed that he had a boyfriend.

It was only a couple seconds. You know what those awkward silences are like. I think it's too soon to tell if there's chemistry or not. I'm sure that awkward moments like these are normal when someone likes a guy I don't think it says much.

A friendship? Yeah, sure, I'm eager to become a friend for him if it happens organically. I won't hold by breath though, and of course I've got no intention whatsoever to come between him and his boyfriend.