He's out of my league...

[anchihiro]

Perhaps because he does porn, people know him because of that, they expect him to be a certain way in their heads. Perhaps people don't bother to approach him because he could have any guy he wants and others feel intimidated by that, so therefore a lot of people don't bother.
Then also for the ones that do, maybe they just expect he'll be an easy fuck.

And then you came along and offered him some free weed and a chance to just relax and be his friend. And lets face it, you're hot too.

So it could be you're exactly what he needs.

 

[wonderfall]

I'd say lay off a bit from the texting and wait until next week to text him again to see if he'd like to hang out... maybe do something different just to get to know each other. Is there anything else you both enjoy so there won't be that awkward silence?

Honestly, you're a handsome guy. Don't think anyone is out of your league.

 

[Sigma-taylor-E]

My god enough of the self depreciation! you are gorgeous. He seems to like you as a person. So either you tell him your intentions or just hope to be friends.

 

[ronboy]

Lucky, right now, be his friend.

If something else should come of it, good.

If nothing else should come of it, no harm, no foul.

 

[looseliam]

I've been with a handful of people who have done and do porn. Some well-known, some not. With some I've found out after we met, went out, etc.

From talking to them they feel any time someone comes up and says hi, etc., it's because they think they're easy and will put out - especially with the famous ones.

So let me just echo what Sir Ron says: be his friend. Get to know him, let him get to know you. Regardless of your intentions sexually, I would refrain from brining it up as I fear he'll think that's your only motivation. Worst case: you make a good friend who can probably hook you up with other hot boys =]

 

[wonderfall]

People shouldn't try too hard and stress out about becoming someone's friend, doesn't seem natural.

 

[Eagle653]

I bet you're right in that he appreciates that you're a regular guy just wanting to hang out and get mellow and have a few laughs. Depending on who he is, he could be bombarded with requests for sex, or people having an expectation that just because he's in porn, he's a 24/7 sex machine and always willing/able.

What do you want to happen? Where do you want this to go? Just be hang out friends? Friends with benefits?

I ask because you seem perplexed that he gives you the time of day. I don't find that surprising, actually. Yet, you don't seem quite sure what you want out of this either. Attracted to him, but unsure how to bring that up or make a sexual move?

You could leave that up to him, but he may be leaving that up to you--in which case no one goes through the intersection because everyone stopped at the red light.

Good luck--let us know what happens.

 

[KaraBulut]

Thanks, I'm perplexed that he gives me the time of day.. I'm also confused as to what I really want out of this.

In this scenario, this is the problem.

Gray areas aren't always good things. And not knowing why you're doing something or what outcome you're looking for is one of those gray areas.

If you had known this guy for a while and then found out that he did porn, it would be clear that you were friends and you'd know enough about him to know what you were getting into.

 

[bankside]

One thing a porn star could count on if we knew each other socially is that his line of work would not change what I think a relationship is about, what I bring to it or what I expect. The rest would just depend on who we are as individuals and what we were like together.

The idea of someone being out of my league doesn't even compute. His career would bother me because most people I've met who are casual about sex also come with limits on how good they are at relationships. Who can say if that applies to an individual though? It is only something I'd have to figure out.

HIV would also potentially be an issue. It can happen to anybody in reasonably sane but unfortunate circumstances. It can also be the result of someone losing control of his behaviour. And self control is sexy. But as much for his conscience as my health, I wouldn't put myself in the position of being "the person he infected" so it would mean less flexibility on the sexual side of the relationship but not impossible.

 

[Seasoned]

I think the only time we are out of someone's league is when we think we are or when the other person is caught up with an established circle of friends and aquaintances. He's already made himself available; you're on your way to being friends.

 

[Georgiadude]

I've talked about this a couple of times before but will give the cliff note version.

I dated a guy that was an abercrombie model. he was on one of their bags and those huge posters inside the store. our relationship lasted a little over 6 months. I'm an average, next door neighbor kinda guy. I'm in my mid forty's. At the time I had lost my job and definitely was NOT a sugar daddy. I couldn't buy him things and had nothing to offer except me. trust me he could have been with anyone he chose and he chose me.

I dont believe in "leagues". we're all human and nobody is better than anyone else. Many guys think they're super hot (and they're not) and many guys think someone good looking wouldn't want to be with them because they're not as good looking. its silly. he came over, hung out and has said he wants to do it more. maybe he's just looking for a friend, someone to hang out with that isn't going to pressure him for sex. Im sure he gets tired of people expecting him to have sex with him because he does porn. when people find out Im a massage therapist thats all they want me to do. give them a free massage. Just be his friend. if more develops let it happen but it seems like he's interested. if he weren't he wouldn't have came back or kept in contact with you.

Steven

 

[Darted]

Just remember, he has sex for a living. Don't develop emotions for this guy or you'll end up hurting yourself.

 

[FuryOfFirestorm]

I think he's glad to meet someone that doesn't keep bringing up his job or treat him like a piece of meat. At the very least, I can see you guys becoming good friends.

 

[Corny]

yes. also let me point at my sig.

 

[Eagle653]

Thanks guys.. I kind of got over it in that it's probably really simple. If he wants to hang out, we will and we can become friends. It's up to him whether he wants to miss out on a genuine friendship or not

That's a great place to be. Good luck with all this; I hope a very good friendship develops. Keep in touch and let us know how it goes. This is turning into a neat story.

 

[shaychboi88]

Thanks, I'm perplexed that he gives me the time of day.. I'm also confused as to what I really want out of this.

Through looking things up online and doing my own snooping, there's a good chance this guy is HIV pos. I won't go through details to give away anything but that's probably a dealbreaker for sex for me. Also, I won't lie I don't know how comfortable I am having sex with a pornstar that does his kind of scenes.

I want to hang out with him and have fun.. i was surprised I had some much fun with him and that I could make him laugh hysterically or that we could probably relate in a lot of ways. I feel terrible admitting this but I'd definitely want to have sex if I didn't think he was pos or if he wasn't a pornstar. And he'd probably be someone I'd consider dating just from his personality.

So yea.. i'm kind of confused which is why I hope i get to spend more time with him lol. I don't think about this all day.. maybe just once or twice in passing but it's just funny b/c I'm usually not too confused about these things.

It's so sad that's he's slightly younger than me and might be hiv positive. it's not like i'm a monk or anything but I fuck safe and get tested.