Hey, guys! I have a double-edged sword at hand!

[gameboy 11]

It seems as though I have made some nice friends online, I've made at least 20 enemies too. I don't think I've ever, EVER had so many people dislike me/not like my opinions so much. Mostly, I don't let it cut too deep, but some people on here are quite offensive.

Like in particular, I go to this one website, and everyone seems to think that pointing out that I'm gay and that I like dick needs to be known. It's like all they see is that I'm gay. But like I said, I'm pretty strong mentally, and just push them away. And I defend myself at least 90% of the time. Sometimes though, it's not even worth it to waste your breath, you know? ;-)

I guess I just hate it when I'm called a "fairy" because, although I get in a good, chipper mood, it's only in spurts.

How do you deal with online adversaries??

Tell me your stories!!!!

 

[rareboy]

Well, to begin with, we are defined as much by who we have for 'enemies' as who we count as friends. I'm quite honoured to be considered 'enemy' by some of the people who disagree with my opinions on many subjects.

But more to the point. What is missing in the modern mentality when difference of opinion immediately seems to lead people to always cast it as a negative and regard others as adversaries or enemies?

Is it the general militarized state of the world? Education? Kids playing computer games where there is always an enemy to be vanquished?

I think in the first instance, you have to consciously decide that if you want to play in someone else's sandbox, you might get some thrown at you. Shrug it off. It isn't as though you have an obligation to any of your virtual colleagues. They aren't with you all the time and don't really know you at all.

Don't play where people call others names. That is just plain foolish. What could be so attractive about spending time with those children? To prove you're right? To hone your skills at becoming adversarial, cynical and brittle? To vanquish the evil Princess Phuku?

You say you're strong mentally...but only in a good mood in spurts. I can guarantee you'd be in a better mood a lot more if you spent much less time in front of a screen and more out in the world volunteering time and effort to help others.

I also still think that you need to see your family doc and make sure that you don't have a stress disorder or serotonin imbalance.

...and make it clear to the other children that call each other names that you are too mature to be bothered with them. Trust me, they'll disappear off the screen soon enough.

 

[G-Lexington]

True dat. I don't spend any time here at JUB in Current Events/Politics. Why? Because it's a tauntfest. Roughly 90% of the posts are variations on "yeah, well, so's your mother". Yes, there's some decent intelligent exchange there, but the ratio of wheat to chaff is awfully small. It's just not worth sorting through it.

Other websites, the ratio is better. I'm on one where I get some grief for being the only (out) gay poster there. Usually from the same couple of posters. If I agree with somebody, they claim it's because I want to jump his bones. If I disagree with somebody, they claim it's because...well, because I want to jump his bones. I don't let it get to me. The rest of the posters feel my contributions are valid and valuable. There's no reason to make every thread a "Lex defends the gays" thread. I've found making the occasional joke about it tends to keep the wolves at bay. "This may just be the I-want-to-jump-his-bones talking, but..." "Sorry I haven't posted on this topic in a couple days. I was out destroying the American family. What'd I miss?"

If most people seem to enjoy your contributions to a website, by all means, stick around. Don't let the assholes choose your fun.

Lex

 

[gameboy 11]

Thanks, Lex.

And to the first poster, I do volunteer my time - at a Friendly Kitchen at least twice a week, and things aren't going to shabby.

 

[rareboy]

I'm delighted to hear that you are out in the community giving back. I would think that this should elevate your mood more often than not and allow you to rise above any of the nonsensical name calling on the kindergarten bulletin boards.

...but you really need to focus on why the good moods only in spurts then. It should be the other way around.

 

[gameboy 11]

My life is very incomplete:

Lost touch with friends
Been single all my life
Get annoyed by my mother's put-downs/accusations daily and it's NOT stopping: It's in her blood I guess -_-;
Have lost my drive in life, and could care less if I'm here or fade to black
Lonely is also a factor

With all of the above, I'm both mentally and emotionally drained.

If I could cry every 3 days or so, I think I'd be in better shape!

 

[rareboy]

Get back in touch with friends.

You're only 22....and worried about being single all your life?

Move out. Live away from your mother. She's probably concerned because you have no friends and have lost your drive in life.

You're only 22....you haven't even had a chance to find your drive in life let alone lose it. If you need more education, get it. If you need to find a vocation, choose what makes you happy and work in that field.

I think you need to turn your life upside down, throw out all the excess stuff from adolescence and get on with being an adult.

 

[CoolBlue71]

It seems as though I have made some nice friends online, I've made at least 20 enemies too. I don't think I've ever, EVER had so many people dislike me/not like my opinions so much. Mostly, I don't let it cut too deep, but some people on here are quite offensive.

Like in particular, I go to this one website, and everyone seems to think that pointing out that I'm gay and that I like dick needs to be known. It's like all they see is that I'm gay. But like I said, I'm pretty strong mentally, and just push them away. And I defend myself at least 90% of the time. Sometimes though, it's not even worth it to waste your breath, you know? ;-)

I guess I just hate it when I'm called a "fairy" because, although I get in a good, chipper mood, it's only in spurts.

How do you deal with online adversaries??

Tell me your stories!!!!

Use your head. Stop letting people know at such Web sites. I would suggest getting away from the ones where the cat is already out of the bag. This particular site/forum is one thing -- but for others to spoil it in other sites, you gotta realize that from now on you have be more careful of what you should reveal about yourself.