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hey guys- I REALLY NEED YOU HELP, PLEASE

E

eftergivende

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Unless "Matt" tells you, I think you'll never know what "went wrong." You can speculate, but I think your relationship with him is over.
 
What is it about guys named Matt? :)

Why he changed...well there can be a huge amount of reasons why. One possibility is that he is queer and liked you and then became bitter. But that is only one possibility out of far many more possibilites.

If you want closure, just talked to him, you don't need to start with I think I like you, and more in a friendship way. Just talk to him.
 
Unfortuately, I don't know "Matt". #-o But it sounds like something was said, or, maybe, your "enemy" figured out a way to get "Matt" to allow him to give "Matt" a BJ, or something! (O.K., that may be a bit "severe"! :slap: )

Somewhere, somehow, through somebody, "Matt's" perception of You has changed! And until You can discover what that might have been, You really don't have any recourse! :cry:

Let's focus on your "Enemy"! What is it that has this dude against You? Are you, perhaps, a threat to His popularity? Are you cuter, or smarter, or more popular? Obviously, He's found a way to Hurt you! And "Matt" has fallen for his "game"!! :cry: ](*,)

How will you find out? Talk to "Matt"! It may not be easy! "Enemy" has seen to that! (Or, it may be completely unrelated!) But, You need to find out what is going on!

You need to get to "Matt"! It may not be easy, but You've got to do it! Invite "Matt" for coffee, or whatever, and impress upon him that you'd like to know what is going on! Lay ALL your cards on the table, and let "Matt" know, that no matter what, you're not into making judgement calls, or any dramatic pronouncements. Let "Matt" know that he can tell you the "Truth", without any repercussions. Tell Him you just need to know!

You may not hear what you'd like! But ... to avoid further regrets ... you really do need to find out what is Truely going on!

I'm wishing You ALL the Very Best!! (group)

And ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!! :kiss: (*8*)
Chaz ;)
 
I wouldn't waste a lot of energy trying to figure it out. If he doesn't want to talk, move on and forget about him. I've met guys like that. I call them "players". They have a problem and you don't need it. Move on and meet guys that are genuine and have the common decency to show some respect for the feelings of others. Obviously, he is not one of them. If he cared one iota about you, he would explain his behavior. The fact that he didn't (and won't)should tell you something. You deserve better.
 
eftergivende said:
Unless "Matt" tells you, I think you'll never know what "went wrong." You can speculate, but I think your relationship with him is over.
Click to expand...
And sadly so. I think you have to move on and hope for the best. Don't wait around for him--just move on. It hurts and we're sorry--but you cannot get stuck in a rut waiting for him.
 
Hey mendy1111,

It looks to me like the same old story, boy meets boy and starts to have feelings for the other but is afraid to admit it. This happens alot when you are young and want to come out but don't know how. Same happened here as I believe it has happened with many others. He probably feels the same for you but is so scared to show it and so goes by this route of being a ass. One day he'll realise what a jerk he is being towards you and that maybe this new buddy is not all that he is cracked up to be, and that the person he ought to hang with, is you!

I strongly believe he'll come around. In the mean time hang in there and good luck! ..|
 
probably found your porn when you weren't there and started to figure out why you were smiling at him so much while drunk.

OR

He started to tap into some gay feelings that he didn't know he had and it spooked him.

OR

Some other stupid kid drama that's not worth your time.

either way as much as it hurts, it's time to move on... find guys that you've got more in common with (like being gay?) and it's possible that once he sees that you've moved on he'll be more willing to open up to you.

If not, he wasn't really worth your time anyway.
 
"Matt" sounds pretty immature, or confused, or both. It's pretty rotten, though, for him to just leave you high and dry wondering what the hell is going on.

I have to agree with the others that whatever friendship was there is over, and it's best to move on--which I'm sure you'll do, but unless you receive some closure, you'll always wonder what happened.

Since he's buddied up with your enemy, have you considered that maybe your enemy wanted him as a friend and filled his head with lies, or something? If so, it's even more cheap and immature, but...

Anyway, welcome to JUB and to this forum. It's good to have you here, and hope you keep us up to date on how you're doing and what's going on. :wave:

(*8*)
 
Well here's my two cents for what its worth. I think that Matt was in love with you and was afraid to show it and to approach you. And at some point, he gave up and decided you were straight or something. He moved on and dealt with his love and disappointment by being angry at you.

And he's a long way down the road to getting over you. Too far I'm afraid...

You did the best you could. You don't even seem to be sure now what your sexuality is so how could you have handled that situation any better than you did? I certainly don't see how. It sucks for sure but it is what it is.

I'm sorry for your loss and your hurt. You are obviously still in a lot of pain and I hope it helps to get some of it out here. We do feel for you, Mendy, those of us that post and the others that are reading your thread. Just keep writing. It does help and we're always here. (*8*)
 
I think Riverrick is right, he would have had feelings for you but was overcome by fear and confusion when you did not reciprocate in words or deeds.

I only know too well the importance and need for closure. It is not a very good feeling being left in the dark and I symphatise with you.

I don't know if you should talk to him again but like most of us here, I agree that we could spend a lifetime speculating on what his thoughts were.

Ultimately, it is up to you and it all depends on you. If you feel that you absolutely need closure, confronting him and being honest with him is one option. If you feel that time will help you move on from him, then continue avoiding him.

However, you must remember that if you decide on confronting him, there is no guarantee that you will get him back or that the outcome would be any better. But sometimes, just knowing their thoughts can help us feel a lot more better even if we do not like the entire outcome.

Just think about what is best for you!

Keep us posted and here's a little hug to make you feel better(*8*)
 
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