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Hey You! VIRGIN! Yeah! YOU!

](*,) ](*,)

Another fine thread by Gl247.
That clown Brijan could never come up with a thread as intelligent and sensitive as this one.

Someone needs to talk to him about the content of his threads.:badgrin: maybe it is a lost cause.](*,)

:menorah: :santa: PAX

eM.:(
 
virginity is nothing to be embarrassed of. Virginity is nothing to be proud of. Virginity is nothing.
 
I think sex is very personal, it's more of a connection between two (or more in some cases!) people participating in something together. I consider it a bonding activity just like any other (fishing with your dad, going on a road trip with close friends, etc.) only with heightened emotion in it. Frequently I think it's the emotion that gets hold of people and causes them to have sex or want to have sex, regardless of the connection between them and their partners. It works for some people, but I really like the idea of connecting moreso than just getting off. When that emotion gets to me, I just take care of it with my hand and that's that!

That said, I'm a virgin and will be until I find some connection with somebody else.
 
What a refreshing thread!

NO, it's NOT wrong to be a virgin; but we have so many on JUB who are so wanting to end that....

I know a lot of men are virgin(s) to men sex; but NOT necessarily to female sex....

You know, you never know who's a virgin...

Today, I received a "phone-call-from-the-past"......I mean, how do you like to pick up the phone and hear someone speak and ask you, "Guess who this is"? I hate it!

Well, I received this phone call from a school girl-friend from several, several years ago....we had a long discussion about the past and she brought up this subject of perception about people's character and she said, "Did you know that I was still a virgin after high school"??? Well, if you'd known this girl you would have thought she slept with the whole football team! She was always being very provactive and sexy with her dress and actions...She said it was just a front...

So, even though one might get kidded about being a virgin, I believe that deep down people are a bit jealous and envy your status!

Don't rush it and give "IT" to someone who's loving and attentive and NO slam-bam-thank-you-mam"!!(*8*) (*8*) :kiss: :kiss:
 
Im 18 and still a virgin , and im proud of it , im not embarrassed , when the right relationship with a guy comes along i will lose it but unitl then im keepin it , im not losing it to some random guy , i want a relationship and when i know another p[erson is committed to me and cares about me then he can take it from me.


Im glad that others also agree on this
 
consider a different view point:

virginal status is ALMOST nothing.

certain acts or occurrences in our lives signify change.

when our voices break, it signifies the end of our childhood

our first full bottle of beer signified the beginning of our social acclimation

our drivers license signified our ability to start our professional lives.

each of these acts, are actually meaningless. they're nothing more than mile markers in the highways of our lives. you can go travel forward without any of these mile markers, but it makes it more difficult to know how far you've come.

loosing our virginity, for me atleast, signifies the end of our emotional and social adolescence.

it's not necessary to loose your virginity to know that you're an adult; but it is reassuring to know that you've crossed that mile marker.
 
Very good,thoughtful,sensitive thread Brijan....its a concept that a lot of straight and gay people find it hard to talk about honestly,without feeling embarassment,shame,feeling you would encounter people who would laugh and find it amusing and treat one like there's something wrong with them.
 
A contrary point of view worth replying to.

As follows:

virginal status is ALMOST nothing.
Okay, for the sake of argument.

certain acts or occurrences in our lives signify change.
Milestones, rights of passage.
So far so good.

when our voices break, it signifies the end of our childhood
It can.
So can other events.

our first full bottle of beer signified the beginning of our social acclimation
I disagree.
We are social our whole lives, and are required to acclimatize to social situations on a recurrent basis.

our drivers license signified our ability to start our professional lives.
Again, I disagree.
I would suggest the following modification: our drivers license signifies our ability to broaden our professional lives; if we even have one.
Assuming one gets their license at 16, one should still be in high school.

each of these acts, are actually meaningless. they're nothing more than mile markers in the highways of our lives. you can go travel forward without any of these mile markers, but it makes it more difficult to know how far you've come.
The acts are only meaningless until we attach meaning to them.
Once meaning (or how we feel about it,) is attached to an event can be very "powerful" (for lack of a better word).

loosing our virginity, for me atleast, signifies the end of our emotional and social adolescence.
Which could be part of my point.
Loosing one's virginity is not a milestone/right of passage to be taken lightly.
Its symbolic meaning, whatever that might be on a personalized individual level, is likely something one will remember and carry with them for life.

it's not necessary to loose your virginity to know that you're an adult; but it is reassuring to know that you've crossed that mile marker.
A cautionary note against causality here.
Having sex/loosing your virginity does not make one an adult. Perhaps some lost, confused, rebellious, or anxious teens should learn that lesson.
 
a point by point rebuttal isn't necessary; i used examples to get at my point and i only had one point in my entire post:

virginity is neither something to be proud of nor something to be ashamed of.

wishing to keep it is fine; but a desire to get rid of it is also perfectly fine and, for some, getting rid of it might serve as evidence as emotional and/or social inter relational growth.

under that one understanding; there's nothing wrong with wanting to get rid of your virginity.

that understanding usually has nothing to do with lost, confused, rebellious, or anxious teens.
 
Frankly, our culture makes too much of virginity IMHO. The concept of virginity originated with keeping women from being "used goods" back in the day when women were the property of their fathers and husbands. The term in many ways seems inapplicable to gay men (or really anybody living in the modern world today). I prefer to talk about "the first time" as that term is a lot less loaded with heterosexist history.

Sure, there's only one first time, but there will be many, many opportunities afterwards which are likely to be more fulfilling anyways. Honestly, what's so different about the first time from every other time except for the novelty and inexperience?

Luminum's quote sums it all up if you ask me,

"Only give up your virginity when you want to have sex, kids, not the other way around."

If you want to have sex, find somebody you're comfortable with and have sex. Don't find somebody on craigslist just to get some experience (unless that's something you're really interested in). Get out there, meet people and eventually you'll find somebody you'll want to have sex with. Maybe it will be your life partner, maybe a short-term boyfriend or maybe just a one-nighter. With any of those, it can be a positive experience.

In the end, it's all about expectation. If you build your first time up to be this end-all, be-all thing, chances are you will be sorely disappointed. I'd say it's a heck of a lot better to view it as a life experience to be enjoyed with somebody you're comfortable with.

Personally, I didn't wait until I had a boyfriend for my first time and I don't regret it one bit. It was a fun time with a good guy who happens to be a friend of a friend and lives in another city. I was comfortable with him (although I was a bit nervous) and decided that he was going to be the one.
 
Reality is the comparison we make between our experience in the present moment and our memory of how things were in the past, between ‘now’ and ‘then’. Each of us fashions his own reality by how he chooses to respond to experience now. No two people have the same reality.

We have a body, a consciousness, and time: that’s all. We are not born with ‘belief systems’; we invent them as we go along, adopt, adapt or reject them as appropriate: every gay man knows this. Your attitude towards your gender and your sexuality and how you express these in the world is a choice you make; no-one else can experience your consciousness or your physicality for you.

It is your individual choice to cheapen or sanctify your sexual expression as much as you wish: to chase the immediate gratification of an ejaculatory thrill, or to place sexual inexperience on a pedestal and call it virginity. But to argue that everyone else should think, feel or behave the same suggests an uncertainty about your own position.

If reality is response to experience then virginity, by definition, is an illusion.
 
Please note it is not ok to be 26 and still a virgin.
 
It's not okay to be 26 and still a virgin? I'm 28, still a virgin and don't mind one bit. My friends are amazed that a guy like me is still a virgin, because I'm not ugly, I'm not stupid, I'm not an asshole and I'm not socially awkward. I made the choice to remain a virgin. I will lose my virginity within the context of a serious relationship.
 
Please note it is not ok to be 26 and still a virgin.

Yes, explain why.

You really mean to say "It's not ok in my opinion, to be 26 and still a virgin"

It's ok for anyone to be any age and still a virgin. Hell, I wish I was.
In my opinion, sex is not the be-all and end-all that a lot of guys seem to think.
Remember that indiscriminately fucking anyone with a dick and legs will eventually get you killed.
Personally, I have a lot more respect for myself than that.

If any guys wish to wait for someone special, good for them. I applaud them for their choices & I wish I had done the same (rather than screwing a former friend just to see what the big deal was about then regretting it later).
 
< is 27 and still a virgin. Not really looking to lose it either.

It's not that I have a problem with the idea of casual sex, I know exactly where to go for an anonymous screw should I happen to want one. But I'd rather not lose my cherry like that.

However, losing it the other way involves actually getting a social life. Which presents its own problems for me, as I'm sure most of you are aware.
 
Well, you know the old Woody Allen quote: "Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with somebody you love"
 
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