Hi. Asexual Homoromantic Dude In His 20s Here.

[72-Jay]

Sorry, I don't understand... what's "20*2"? You mean you're in your 40s? Come on, dude, that ain't old!

Yep, by 20*2 I did mean 20 multiplied by 2 .. so over 40 ?)

Not really 'lonely' (but not 'un-lonely' either)

Well, I am all fucking alone. I'm sure a serial murderer and torturer on death row has more friends and people that like, care about, support, understand and check up on her/him...

Zero friends? Family? Co-workers? you've got to have someone - even if (even if they aren't necessarily a 'friend', but just someone you know) .. that is unless you lock yourself in your house/apartment/etc and never leave..

Very similar to how I feel .. if I was ever in a relationship (something that in reality I know will never happen) I would want a meaningful romantic/emotional (and 100% monogamous) one, and not really sexual .. basically the short version: "love not sex".

Wow, I seriously wonder why we think we're so fuckin alike... ABSOLUTELY ALL of those things above could've been said by me. And, believe me, you'll find a dude. Of that I'm sure. It'll happen. I know.

.wow. on that *all* of those are things you coulda said.
I know without a doubt that I'll never find anyone. There's so many things to prevent it.
I gave up on ever having anyone years ago...closest I'll ever do is daydream .

I don't ever want sex. I'll die the same way I've always been: all fuckin alone, and certainly my total and absolute rejection of and aversion to sexual activity wouldn't help at all.

I personally see myself still a virgin when I die (and thing is I don't see that as a bad thing)
I also see myself as being forever single (this I view as kind of a 2-parter - sorta sad, but I also don't mind being single)
I've seen the term 'sexually repulsed' used on AVEN, thats not me, but when I hear people talk about their own sexual exploits (or little hints of sexual stuff with women (some of the comments coming from women themselves)) Its a discussion I really don't want any part of.
--I'm sure you get what I mean--
Really all I'd be able to say is "oh I've never dated" / "never had a girlfriend" / "don't date. period." (I've said those types of things, but overall just try to avoid any such discussions).

In my opinion that AVEN thing is mostly completely useless and boring. Like 99% of members are women and like 99% of the few dudes are aromantics or heteroromantics... Fuckin hate that.

Well, sounds like you've given the site a try then, thats what matters.
I do agree that most of the guys there are aromantics or heteroromantics.
Only reason I stick around is I can relate to the Asexual aspect.

 

[AgisMole]

I'm not sure about what you feel to deny when you deny this "sex"

Hi 72-Jay I'm aware that autoquote yourself is not the most educated of all the practices but since I didn't get an answer from skep I will try once more with you. According to you when does an activity get "sexual"?

 

[skepdude]

I have family, of course, live in my parents' house, but I've never felt a real connection with/towards or really trusted anyone in my entire family. I have no one. No one to talk to. No one to trust. No one to love me at all. Never been loved by anyone and even though that's exactly what I deserve it still hurts like a motherfucker.

Every single day and night I have these daydreams and fantasizes that make me cry like a fuckin bitch about having a guy to hug/by hugged by/, cuddle with, tickle/be tickled by, spooning with, saying "I love you" to, holding hands with, sleeping next to, caressing being caressed by, etcetera, etcetera; but I don't deserve that at all and it'll never happen; I'll die without having known what any of those things feel like.

I know without a doubt that I'll never find anyone.

I'm sure you will, but that's exactly what I think about myself, so, what can I say...

There's so many things to prevent it.

Like what, if you don't mind me asking?

closest I'll ever do is daydream

Another instance in which we think exactly and totally alike.

I personally see myself still a virgin when I die (and thing is I don't see that as a bad thing)

OF COURSE IT'S NOT A "BAD" THING AT ALL AND NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF AT ALL. Why would it be a bad thing at all?

I also see myself as being forever single (this I view as kind of a 2-parter - sorta sad, but I also don't mind being single)

Sorry, don't understand what you mean at all.

AVEN's a piece of shit. And I'll die all alone.

I can't stand all this anymore. I just fuckin can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. This is cunting hell.

 

[AgisMole]

Sorry, don't understand what you mean at all.

AVEN's a piece of shit. And I'll die all alone.

I can't stand all this anymore. I just fuckin can't. I can't. I can't. I can't. This is cunting hell.

Benedetta primavera!

Pssssssst skeppie when we live we can live all alone or escorted by someone. When we die we all die all alone.

 

[72-Jay]

I'm not sure about what you feel to deny when you deny this "sex"

Hi 72-Jay I'm aware that autoquote yourself is not the most educated of all the practices but since I didn't get an
answer from skep I will try once more with you. According to you when does an activity get "sexual"?

I see nothing wrong with self-quoting .lol.

First ofcourse remember when reading this that I've never done *anything* with anyone(guy or girl)...not even cuddle/hug/kiss/etc.

The way I see it is any of these are NOT sexual: A hug, cuddling, or kissing (even a deep pasionate kiss).
Once you start making contact with 'private parts', thats when things start becoming sexual
I don't consider getting or giving a BJ as "having sex", but rather simply a "sexual act"
For it to be "having sex", that to me would be actual intercourse.

Every single day and night I have these daydreams and fantasizes that make me cry like a fuckin bitch about having a guy to hug/by hugged by/, cuddle with, tickle/be tickled by, spooning with, saying "I love you" to, holding hands with, sleeping next to, caressing being caressed by, etcetera, etcetera; but I don't deserve that at all and it'll never happen; I'll die without having known what any of those things feel like.

Every night before falling asleep, I lay there daydreaming about having a guy to hug/cuddle/kiss with (and on rare occasions girl instead of guy)
Those daydreams don't make me cry or anything, but if there was a way to.. um for lack of a better word "turn off" them, I'd do it.
Hell I'd do the same for all feelings of attraction to as well.

There's so many things to prevent it.

Like what, if you don't mind me asking?

A couple of them would be:
I'm sorta shy, and I'm no good at social interaction, making/keeping friends/etc
I have issues with bad/dry skin.. I could deff never wear shorts or go shirtless in public

I personally see myself still a virgin when I die (and thing is I don't see that as a bad thing)

OF COURSE IT'S NOT A "BAD" THING AT ALL AND NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF AT ALL. Why would it be a bad thing at all?

It isn't a bad thing, but...
Allot of people out there would consider it as bad or atleast weird.

I also see myself as being forever single (this I view as kind of a 2-parter - sorta sad, but I also don't mind being single)

Sorry, don't understand what you mean at all.

I just mean that when I think about it, its kind of a sad feeling knowing I'll always be alone.
But as an overall thing I don't mind being single, esp when I'm not thinking about it

 

[AgisMole]

I see nothing wrong with self-quoting .lol.
First ofcourse remember when reading this that I've never done *anything* with anyone(guy or girl)...not even cuddle/hug/kiss/etc.

The way I see it is any of these are NOT sexual: A hug, cuddling, or kissing (even a deep pasionate kiss).
Once you start making contact with 'private parts', thats when things start becoming sexual
I don't consider getting or giving a BJ as "having sex", but rather simply a "sexual act"
For it to be "having sex", that to me would be actual intercourse.

Preliminarily thanks a lot for your edit Eagle653
Sometimes I still get seized by the arguments and tend to forget the effects the answers could have on the interlocutor Sorry for that.

So said Jay, thanks for your answer and let's say it's quite difficult for me to see you as an "asexual". Let's see. There are practices which are loved by many and even deserve special sections here and in many other "gay" forums. Personally, for instance, I don't like rimming, I don't like the "water sports", bondage etc. If we decided, just out of hypothesis, to bind this so said "sex" to those activities only, it seems to me I would be an asexual too. So - I was wondering - I'm now seeing you as a script and if I was somewhere in Colorado I could see, for instance, Jay walking along the road. But have you ever seen somewhere in Colorado or everywhere a thing named "sex" appearing as a script in a forum or walking along a road like you?

 

[AgisMole]

Post precog(nitiion)

One could easily answer: here it is!


SEX!

But it would be always you anyway and it seems there's not such a thing which could spontaneously appear to our senses

 

[AgisMole]

Anyway let's dedicate this one to skeppie and all us "asexuals" ^_^

 

[72-Jay]

So said Jay, thanks for your answer and let's say it's quite difficult for me to see you as an "asexual". Let's see. There are practices which are loved by many and even deserve special sections here and in many other "gay" forums. Personally, for instance, I don't like rimming, I don't like the "water sports", bondage etc. If we decided, just out of hypothesis, to bind this so said "sex" to those activities only, it seems to me I would be an asexual too. So - I was wondering

I don't consider myself to be a 100% asexual: I guess the term would be 'greysexual' or maybe 'demisexual'...but both of those would be on the so-called "asexuality spectrum"
I agree with you on not liking rimming, & its not something I would ever do (but I might with the right person allow someone to do it to me .. very keywords being 'might' and 'right person' .. the chances being very unlikely)
Watersports, that would be another rare chance of might with right person

I'd consider rimming a 'sexual act' (since you are making contact with private areas), but not "having sex"
Things like watersports or bondage(deff wouldn't go fot that).. um.. I'm not sure what to call them? "kinky stuff"? but not sex

I'm now seeing you as a script and if I was somewhere in Colorado I could see, for instance, Jay walking along the road.

A scary sight to see

But have you ever seen somewhere in Colorado or everywhere a thing named "sex" appearing as a script in a forum or walking along a road like you?

Sure I can see somewhere in Colorado...by simply looking out my bedroom window because afterall "somewhere" could be anywhere...
'sex' is a thing that should be avoided. Maybe "NoScript for SexScripts" would be needed??

.LOL.

 

[AgisMole]

A scary sight to see

scarier than my ueberbeloved Georg Christoph? ^_^

Sure I can see somewhere in Colorado...by simply looking out my bedroom window because afterall "somewhere" could be anywhere...
'sex' is a thing that should be avoided. Maybe "NoScript for SexScripts" would be needed??

Aaaaaah don't ask Jay if you knew ... and moreover you have added all that complicated stuff greysexual, demisexual... oh well...
But years ago I was nearly as confused as skeppie when suddenly just out of coincidence
I dug into a strange thing.
The world "sex" which is commonly used nowadays comes from an ancient Latin similar word:

sexus

While I was looking for other things I realized this word had a lectio antiquior an older way of writing/pronouncing it like when you in English say "thou" instead of "you".

This way was

secus

Now tell me what could a poor mole have thought of that

 

[AgisMole]

Now tell me what could a poor mole have thought of that

Not much of course. we don't do much more than digging and swallowing those yummy fat worms. So, digging deeper, I found it wasn't even a lectio antiquior but, while similar, a quite different word since while sexus had a M grammatical gender, secus belonged to the not large set of the Latin neuter undeclinable words. A neuter!
This word root though, has been preserved in many nowadays languages, English included,
in words like:

secant, dissecate, dissection, secluded...

and after all meant simply

a cut, a clean abrupt cut.

I even suspect a possible onomatopoeia.

Can you use in English, when you make a clean cut this expression Jay?

ZZZAAAACK! ?

 

[AgisMole]

So , cause since the times of the famous rascal pope Bonifacius VIII

quis tacet consentire videtur

you might have noticed, skeppie and Jay, that in vain you will try to understand what could materialize and/or make perceptible this sex which you lose your time to deny if it, since the beginning, was nothing more and nothing less than a pure categorical clean separation ^_^. And in the very moment you problematize your condition, the more you feel the pain for it the more you fall into a deep "sexuality" which is a strong, very often painful awareness of this cut. Our French friends have metaphorized with a lot of possible paths a very nice word concerning that:

déchirure

 

[72-Jay]

I'm sure skepdude would be like me in that neither of us would use the word 'condition'
I don't see it as a problem nor would I say it causes me any sorta pain.. it just 'is what it is'. (obviously skepdude would have to answer his own feelings on this as they could differ from mine)

Oh and you're digging up words/phrases that require google'ing, a few being:
Onomatopoeia = a word which imitates natural sounds...
quis tacet consentire videtur = ‎Who is silent seems to agree
dechirure = tear, rip

 

[AgisMole]

I'm sure skepdude would be like me in that neither of us would use the word 'condition'
I don't see it as a problem nor would I say it causes me any sorta pain.. it just 'is what it is'. (obviously skepdude would have to answer his own feelings on this as they could differ from mine)

Oh and you're digging up words/phrases that require google'ing, a few being:
Onomatopoeia = a word which imitates natural sounds...
quis tacet consentire videtur = ‎Who is silent seems to agree
dechirure = tear, rip

i stand corrected Sir Jay Unfortunate expression this "condition" cause, while at least in my language (condizione) value independent, it might suggest an idea of "conditioning" which is not the kind of meaning I had in mind to raise elsewhere. Possible better choices: attitude, way of being, forma mentis, tournure d'esprit... ?
Moreover digging "up" denotes a surely heretical attitude in a mole

Hmmm... that's that in fact Sir Jay. You didn't miss the point there

Let's see then



Tell me the truth: isn't she lovely? ^_^

(btw what's a mole in good American English? a "she", a "he" or an "it"? )

 

[72-Jay]

Probably "way of being" would be better - think of 'asexual' as being in line with words like 'homosexual' 'heterosexual' 'bisexual' .. you wouldn't use 'condition' in the description of any of them (at least not in the US).

I didn't think about mole when using the phrase 'digging up' LOL

In American English the word 'mole' by itself wouldn't denote 'he' or 'she', you'd have to specifically state 'male' or 'female'.

 

[AgisMole]

Probably "way of being" would be better - think of 'asexual' as being in line with words like 'homosexual' 'heterosexual' 'bisexual' .. you wouldn't use 'condition' in the description of any of them (at least not in the US).

I didn't think about mole when using the phrase 'digging up' LOL

In American English the word 'mole' by itself wouldn't denote 'he' or 'she', you'd have to specifically state 'male' or 'female'.

eheheheh

in this case, we could say a she-mole, out of courtesy of course cause it seemed to me there was this form of courtesy in the English language .
Anyway she, he or whatever you might have noticed it seemed a mole. There was that big-nosed doodle over a thing that could look like a molehill ^_^. Right?

 

[72-Jay]

in this case, we could say a she-mole, out of courtesy of course cause it seemed to me there was this form of courtesy in the English language .

I think the majority of US english words are that way, not signifying male or female (I'm not sure if British-english is different in that way)

There was that big-nosed doodle over a thing that could look like a molehill ^_^. Right?

Yep!