Hi, I got drunk and had sex with a guy...

[itsmeagain]

If you value your friendship with him, I would be very careful.
Sex should not be confused with love.
Should he love you, and want to take it to the next step, (which would be probably a more "open" and public relationship, you should be prepared...

I would not be concerned with "what do I label myself now"...

You are still you...

 

[Flexuality]

I have a thread in this forum called "12 sexual types" you might find helpful. The problem is that "bisexual" is an inadequate terms given that people have different mixes of attractions, desires, loves, social constraints, and willingness to experiment. You might be heteroflexible, supersexual, ambisexual....

Think of this surprising experiment as something like discovering a new flavor of ice cream that you might not love forever, but you'd like to try it again.

You might also want to try taking my anonymous sex test at flexuality.info.

 

[traveler1111]

Thank you all

Who knew that people would be so helpful about stuff like this. I only came to this page because I googled something about sexuality forums.

I've decided that, yes, it was fun and I may well do it again, if I was drunk with him and the situation arose, so to speak. But I wont be going out of my way to get him over to fuck him. I don't want to see myself turning into one of those people who obsesses about stuff like that.

I guess I do like the 'if it feels good, do it' rule, but unfortunately, not everyone see's it that way.

And for all those people who've asked me for the details, I can't see how it would have been any different to two other guys fooling about.

you were drunk initially, but you fooled around in the morning after. i think you need to stop blaming the booze.

you don't have to make a relationship out of this if you don't want to. you could just have a no-strings FWB situation. thats probably a better idea given that you are just exploring.

enjoy the ride.

 

[innocentbychoice]

Thank you all

Who knew that people would be so helpful about stuff like this. I only came to this page because I googled something about sexuality forums.

I've decided that, yes, it was fun and I may well do it again, if I was drunk with him and the situation arose, so to speak. But I wont be going out of my way to get him over to fuck him. I don't want to see myself turning into one of those people who obsesses about stuff like that.

I guess I do like the 'if it feels good, do it' rule, but unfortunately, not everyone see's it that way.

And for all those people who've asked me for the details, I can't see how it would have been any different to two other guys fooling about.

Hi New2This, I don't think I can say anything different than anybody has said so far, all I want to tell you is to not worry about labels at this point. You just have to figure out what you really want and if you want it, do it.

 

[bankside]

Finding something new to enjoy about sexuality doesn't undermine what you already like.

If you have always enjoyed women, then discovering you can have fun with a guy does not mean you were wrong before. You just have a larger view of what turns you on now.

It sounds like you had a nice fling, and while that is good it isn't enough to really decide on your sexual orientation. Waking up the next morning and not being into it as much is just normal - most men's interest will go down after an intense sexual experience whether it is with guys or girls, and it doesn't change what you're attracted to, it doesn't mean you've moved on, it just means you're taking a break after a good time.

So what are the possibilities?
A straight guy could be "bi-curious" and try it, hate it, and go back to being straight.
Or he could try it, love it, realise he's been wasting his time with women so far and that being with a woman will never compare now that he knows what he's been missing - welcome to gayness.
Or he could try it and just add it to the list of all the things he loves about sex and that he loves about different people: bisexuality!

You can't decide just on one experience. People have good or bad experiences even when they are completely sure about whether they enjoy men or women. But it sounds like you enjoyed it so I hope the opportunity comes up again

 

[Georgiadude]

First. Welcome to JUB. Hope you enjoy your time here.

Gay, bi, straight, curious. All these are is a label. We are always in such a hurry to identify or attach 1 of them right away. We should be taking our time and figuring things out first. Truth is it doesn't matter what label you attach to yourself. It wont change the fact that you are who you are. There is so much more to being gay or bi than just sex. There has to be that little spark of attraction. The want and need to be with another male. I could go on and on. Having had sex twice with a guy doesn't make you gay or bi.

You need to be careful. Bringing sex into a friendship is very risky. You need to talk with your friend and make sure you are on the same page. Many times 1 of the parties will think a relationship is developing while the other is only interested in sex and keeping the friendship platonic. I'd try not to do the getting drunk and seeing if it happens again thing. Your both adults. Don't hide behind alcohol. You either want to do this or you don't.

I'm glad you are open to the gay community and are exploring your own sexuality. You don't have to identify as anything right now. Take your time and figure it out along the way. Talk with your friend and make sure both of you have the same view on things. It will save you a lot of trouble down the road and possibly save the friendship as well.

Let us know how things are going.

Again. Welcome.

Steven.

 

[New2This]

Thanks again everyone for your help.

I know it's a crappy excuse for a sexual relationship, but I'm not sure I could start something like that up again without having had a few strong drinks before hand.

He's back from his trip and was actually speaking to two of my friends today, he didn't mention the other night, even though people had asked me what his stuff was doing in the living room. On a lighter note, he's rumoured to be rather well endowed and when my friends were talking to him, he was apparently wearing tight boxershorts and both of my friends (who are girls) tried to take a look and were talking about it earlier. I was so close to saying that I've seen it, but I figured that there's a time and a place and this will probably all come out (excuse the pun) in the future.

I'm glad that not everyone out there wants to label people, I'm going to speak to him about it sometime I think. That'll be awkward.

 

[Georgiadude]

Dude. You had sex with the guy. You've seen him naked already and did the nasty. It will be awkward only if you let it. The hard part is already over. If your old enough to do adult activities your old enough to have adult conversation. While sober I might add. Don't use alcohol as a crutch. Put your big boy pants on and have a clear headed, adult conversation. You have a lot going on right now. Exploring new things and trying to figure out who you really are. You need to be thinking clearly so you don't make a decision you will regret down the road.

Those of us that have been on JUB for a while have seen this scenario many times. A fair amount of those times things did not turn out so well. That's why we are telling you to go slow, talk with your friend and think clearly.

I'd be very careful about what I say to mutual friends about what happened. He may not want anyone to know or you may decide this is something between just you and him. Adding friends to the mix can add a lot more drama and make any further activities much more complicated. Talk to him first. Before you do anything else.

Steven.

 

[New2This]

News.

I've been speaking to him, via text today and I think I'd feel comfortable enough to do it again with him, or something..

 

[kindred]

this is really hot lol

but seriously, just make sure you be careful about who you talk to as he may not be comfortable with you discussing what happened between u two

 

[Nomenclature]

News.

I've been speaking to him, via text today and I think I'd feel comfortable enough to do it again with him, or something..

pics or it didn't happen.

 

[sktguy]

Hello, I just want to say that from the information you're giving us you are not gay or bisexual. You see there are psychological principles and factors which drive cognition. You're worrying is basically turning on your limbic system and creating major thoughts to basically protect yourself and facilitate and restore your perception of the world. So basically you're thinking about it because its worrisome event. However that being said you might just in fact be gay or bi-sexual. Go ahead and open up some gay porn and watch it and see if you get a physiological response. No response = you're straight.

Good luck.

* I totally made this account just for the sake of saying this*

Well if that's the only reason you signed up you might not have bothered. He's not gay or bisexual but he might in fact be gay or bisexual. All that did was make things more confusing. I think the guy's bi and there's nothing wrong with that. He did it. He enjoyed it..he's bi. No big deal.

 

[blackbeltninja]

Thanks again everyone for your help.

I'm glad that not everyone out there wants to label people

There are plenty of people, even in here, who do want to label. You resist - only you can decide what you are; don't forget that, and don't let anyone else pigeonhole you, either.

Good luck, either way.

On a lighter note, he's rumoured to be rather well endowed.

I was so close to saying that I've seen it

So... er... how well-endowed is he? Oh come on, you're all wondering as well!

-d-

 

[Willie Boy]

Hello everyone, I'm pretty confused at the moment and could really do with some advice.

It was my birthday the other day and I went out with some friends, including a gay friend and we all got quite drunk. As it was a week night, I ended up drinking (a lot of) vodka at my place with my gay friend, as neither of us had to work the next day.

I don't really remember how it happened, but my friend kissed me and we ended up having an amazing night. The next morning everything felt fine and normal and we fooled around some more.

I'm in my mid twenties and have 'been' straight all my life, I got out of a long term relationship with my ex last year and I've been with a few girls since then, but nothing like this. I'm completely okay with gay men, I have a few gay family members and I think sometimes my acceptance and level of comfort with the gay scene may give off the wrong impression.

I just really don't know what to do. Am I gay? I always thought that bisexuality was a bit hazy, like someone who couldn't decide.

I can't stop thinking about the other night and I really don't know what to do..

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

My advice is definitely not to come off as disrespectful, especially toward the group of people you seem to fit in with at the moment.

Whether or not you meant to try to slam bisexuals, or just had another lapse in judgment (you seem to be prone to such) words like that do tend to be offensive.

OK, enough about that. On to the issue at hand. You seem to be surprised that such a thing happened... You went out drinking with a group of friends and got quite drunk. You take your drunk gay friend home (alone with your drunk self) and drink (according to you) a lot of vodka (one bottle, two, five? ) and the two of you have an amazing night (sleeping together? after he kissed you). Sounds like deep down you knew what you were doing, just weren't willing to admit it to yourself. If you want to continue to be "straight" you'll have to stop sleeping with men. If you enjoy sleeping with men, take some time - but sooner or later you will have to admit your own gayness to yourself.

As the straight guy you claim to be, you made your gay friend's dream come true. He got to sleep with a straight friend (he took the risk and it apparently worked out). But if you are actually a closet gay I doubt it counts.

 

[New2This]

So... er... how well-endowed is he? Oh come on, you're all wondering as well!

Well, he his nickname is footlong.. I wouldn't go that far, I do believe he said it was 9 inches... Scared the hell out of me, I didn't know what I was doing anyway.

pics or it didn't happen.

Nice try!!

this is really hot lol

but seriously, just make sure you be careful about who you talk to as he may not be comfortable with you discussing what happened between u two

Thank you

My advice is definitely not to come off as disrespectful, especially toward the group of people you seem to fit in with at the moment.

Whether or not you meant to try to slam bisexuals, or just had another lapse in judgment (you seem to be prone to such) words like that do tend to be offensive.

Sorry man, never meant to cause any offense. It's just all scary new territory to me.

- Yours.

 

[AsianDream]

Whether or not you meant to try to slam bisexuals, or just had another lapse in judgment (you seem to be prone to such) words like that do tend to be offensive.

Another naughty Willie Boy quote

I've always thought in the past that bisexuality was a bit hazy as well - but actually am fairly sure now it's totally real.

But do think sexuality is somethin best explored sober rather than drunk.

 

[evanrick]

you were never straight to begin with it seems LOL

 

[Blueboy369]

OK. So you are Bi. Don't over think it. Life is short. Enjoy all that life has to offer. Don't forget to use a condom!

 

[Krakenbwool]

I can't offer any valid insight or advice, seeing that I'm a girl, but I have to say that I love the title of the thread. So blunt.

And I know I really shouldn't, but I agree with the guys that found this hot. Sex is just sex, no biggie. Kudos for being more open-minded about it, instead of just shutting it out.

 

[New2This]

Okay, so it happened again.

I went out for a meal with my housemate and neighbour and it ended up with him staying over. It was fun, but I really feel now that it may have been a phase. Do guys go through phases like that?

I'm incredibly sleep deprived as it's now 05:55am and I've hardly slept, my mind has been racing all night.

Also, I think my neighbour, although he keeps saying he respects my right to not want to mention anything, wants to be caught. The first time when we were hammered, he left loads of his stuff downstairs, which I put down to the drink. But this time, he left his shoes in the hallway and then apparently left his keys at home, which could be a genuine mistake but seems almost to me like he wants one of his housemates to work it out. I dunno.

Anyway, thank you all for the advice, it was fun, but I think I may be done with it. Who knows.