Dear Shy... many people do not really understand depression when they think they do. I have dysthymia for so many years and have had a number of severe depressive episodes trigged by a number of events in life, etc. I am on medication,and have tried different medication in the past and have been in and out of therapy a lot since my first year in college. I understand what you are dealing with very well. In my work, I am surrounded by many different people, because I am a public figure... but in my private life, I am pretty much like you. I laugh and joke around a lot in my public life, but when I go home at night, see my two cats, I automatically switch to the quiet lonely self. I adopted two kittens around Christmas as an effort to add some happy moments at home, playing with them and watching them play, etc. Work keeps me feeling alive and this JUB is an outlet I rely on to keep in touch with what is happening outside my private bubble. That is good, however there is always a but... am I just tired when I get home from the public life or is there something underlying that has such effect on me? A few years ago I used to attend regularly a support group for people with depression and it was a very important part of my wellness, but it has since folded due to lack of funds and due to my move across the country for a new job. Many people think that depression lasts only a few weeks and then find themselves surprised that their loved one is still depressed and still struggle with life interests and hobbies. Friends do have the best of intentions at heart, but sometimes they need to realize that a depressed person needs space sometimes. Many think that medication should suffice, but in reality it is therapy and medication combined that helps, but not necessarily totally in many cases. It is an ongoing struggle and depression affects different aspects of one's life. While I am not making any excuses for the way we feel or behave or interact with people, we do need to push ourselves some at times to try something new or something old that we enjoyed in the past, etc. Small steps is better than not making any efforts. I do this by driving along the unexplored routes in my part of the country... usually alone, visiting local interests or museums, etc. This is how I add some variety in my daily activities without dealing with pressures from other people. I can go on and on and on, but I know you and I understand what we are dealing with and I know we do appreciate other people's good intentions, but sometimes they are just obstacles for us as we continue to struggle and try to make something better out of our lives. I understand your frustration with how other people respond to your thread, and please know that their intentions are good, however their approaches may be. Many of us have lots to learn about ourselves and about other people with disorders.Hang in there and if you like, feel free to PM me.
