Here is the new chapter. Hope you all enjoy. And Happy Spring!
High Tide
Chapter 10
[Collin’s POV]
I think I might be losing my mind. Am I really going to do what I’m thinking about doing? Even if I don’t want to, I need to give Brent the chance. I need to show him that I care about him, and that means making an effort. That means that I need to try and be friends with his friends.
On the drive over to Brent’s house, I thought about that I wanted to do today. So many things ran through my mind: we could see a movie, walk in the park, picnic by the lake. As I pulled into the driveway, it hit me. What about a group date? Brent told me that Tyler has a new boyfriend. I’m sure that Brent wants to meet him; to make sure that he is good enough, to make sure he won’t hurt him.
~ I hope you made yourself sexy for me. I’m here. ~ I texted Brent as I shut the car off.
~ You know I did. Come on in. ~
I smiled as I read the response. I called out his name as I walked in the front door. The reply I got was “My room”. I kicked off my shoes and made my way upstairs to my man’s bed chambers. When I found it Brent was standing at the closet, in his underwear, swaying back-n-forth.
“So, are you thinking about going back in the closet?”
“Yes. I can’t deal with the over bearing boyfriend that I have.” Brent said in a monotone voice, without even turning to look at me.
My jaw dropped.
Did he really just say that? Does he know that I was the one that asked that? Is he just joking?
Before I could ask that question out loud, Brent turned around. He had a huge grin from ear to ear.
“I really hate you.” I tried to keep a straight face. I felt like an idiot for even thinking he wasn’t joking.
“No you don’t.”
“Ok, I don’t.” I stuck my tongue out at him “I need to stop falling for that stuff.”
“Oh, you can’t do that. If you do, then I won’t have any fun.” He made that best pouty face he could. It didn’t really work for him though. I could still see the underlying smile.
“It’s not my job to make sure you have fun. It’s my job to make sure I have fun; sometimes I may include you.” I laughed.
“But by making sure I ’have fun‘”, Brent made quotation gestures with his hands, “you ’have fun‘ as well.”
“You are so bad.”
We both laughed for a minute. I went over and helped Brent pick out some clothes for the day. As much as I would have enjoyed the sight of Brent walking around in his undies all day, I don’t think everyone else would like it.
“So have you decided what we are doing today?” Brent asked as he pulled his pants over his legs.
“I have something in mind, but it all kinda depends on someone else.”
Brent looked really confused. It’s a good look for him, almost natural. Sometimes I wish I could read his mind, see what he is thinking when he has that look on his face.
“Well I can see that dumb-founded look on your face, so I’ll explain. I really want this relationship to work. I like you a lot, like a lot a lot. Part of being in a relationship is doing things with each other’s friends. I don’t have many friends here.” I paused for a second to let my brain catch up to my mouth. I took a deep breath and said the thing I never thought I would day. “I was thinking we could invite Tyler and his new boyfriend to hang out today.”
“Really? I thought you wanted me to spend as little time as possible with him. Doesn’t that defeat the purpose?” Brent asked, confusion even more apparent on his face and in his voice.
“I know I’m contradicting myself here. When I said that, I was upset. I thought you still wanted to be with him. I realize now that it’s not right for me to say who you can or cannot hang out with. Besides, you would probably see him behind my back. Now, you have my blessing.” I smiled as I finished.
“If you really want me to invite them, I will.” Brent said, a little hesitantly. He pulled out his phone and swiped through his old messages. He looked up and directly in my eye. “I just realized that we hadn’t decided what we are going to do. I might need to tell him.”
“I was thinking about it all morning. I kinda want to go the Zoo. I haven’t been yet and heard that it’s one of the best in the country.”
“It is. I haven’t been in a few years.”
Brent looked down at his phone again and I started to question my decision. I’m not stupid. I know that Brent still has feelings for Tyler. Even now, I can see the glimmer of excitement as he texts him. And as much as I want that to change, I don’t think it ever will. I would love to be the only one that brings him Joy, but I know that’s selfish. Don’t I have a right to be though? He is my boyfriend. Mine. But I don’t know that I have all of him.
[Tyler’s POV]
I must had fallen back to sleep after Ken woke me up from that nightmare. Kenneth was still holding on to me, keeping me safe from everything in this waking world and the dream. Either I didn’t dream when I went back to sleep or I forgot the moment I woke up. It’s all well and good though. I don’t think I want to dream for a long while.
I slowly lifted Ken’s arm so I could get out of bed and go to the bathroom. As I sat there and did my business, I put my face in my hands and started to cry. I thought about how I got here, about everything that has happened to me. Then that letter entered my thoughts again.
Did my dad really send that, or is it just a cruel joke? If he did send it, does that mean that he’s found a way to escape from jail? I really hope it’s the latter of the two options. If it was a joke, who sent it? Who would do something that heartless?
I made my way out to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. I’m not even sure when I started drinking it; but now, I can’t start my morning without it. Now I understand all the comments on Facebook, “Don’t talk to me until I’ve my coffee.” Once the pot was ready, I grabbed a mug and put in some cream and sugar along with the nectar of the gods.
I went to the sliding glass door that led out to the porch. As I slid the door open, a shiver ran through me; the sudden blast of chilly morning air cutting straight to my bones. After a minute, the chill turned comforting. It helped clear my mind of all the negative thoughts swimming around up there.
After what seemed forever, I heard shuffling coming down the hall. The sound of feet scooting across the carpet brought me out of my thoughtless trance. Suddenly I was aware that the morning was still chilly. I didn’t say anything as I heard the sluggish steps get closer and closer. What could I say? “Good Morning. Sorry if freaked you out last night.” Starting the morning with an apology this early in the relationship is not a good sign.
“Good morning.” Ken said as he wrapped his arms around my waist, and resting his chin on my shoulder. “Is there any more of that coffee? It smells awesome.”
“Yeah, help yourself.”
He loosened his grip and lifted his head. The moment I felt his touch leave me, I longed for it again. I missed it. I felt safe in his arms. Just from how he held onto me last night, I knew I felt protected. Brent had done the same for me. He came to my aid when I needed it. The comfort I felt with him was short lived. Though I felt our time growing short, Brent was still stolen from me.
I turned and walked over to the couch. I sat carefully down with my left leg underneath my butt and my right leg up so my knee met my chest. Kenneth joined me after he finished fixing his coffee. I smile as he sat.
“So how are you feeling this morning?” Ken asked before taking a sip of drink.
I didn’t answer. I didn’t know how I felt. He may not have intended the question to have a double meaning behind hit, but that’s how my ears heard it. I heard the words he said, but I also heard “What was that about last night?” I asked myself if I should tell him everything or just parts. If I want things to work out with him, I have to be honest. How can I expect honesty from him if I cannot give it in return?
“You asked me a few days ago about my mom and dad.”
“Yeah, and if you would rather not talk about them, I would understand. I just want to be to help.” Ken said, turning on the couch to face me.
“I never want to talk about them.” A tear came to my eye as the image of my mom danced around my head. Wiping it away, I said “I really hope this is the last time.”
“You don’t have to if you don’t want too.” He said placing a hand on my shoulder
“I do. I want you to know what’s made me who I am; what’s brought me here, to you.” I tried to smile as I said the last words, but only ended up feeling awkward.
“Tell me only if you really want too. I don’t need to know what brought you to me; all that matters is that you are here.”
With that I did smile. It’s comforting to know that he is here for me. He may not need to hear what I have to say, but I need to say it. I haven’t really talked about it. Maybe saying it will help me come to terms with it all. Hopefully it will keep the nightmares away.
“I’m not sure how or why it started. I began, “but I know when. My dad had been cheating on my mom. I’m not sure how many there were, but it had been going on for a while. Back then he was halfway decent person; strict but fair. Then one day this boy showed up at our front door. He ran into my dad’s arms; crying, saying “mom died.” I was 12 at the time.” I paused a moment to let the back story sink in, also to give me time to find the words I needed to keep going. “At first, he told my brother and I that he was our cousin. I didn’t care. I thought it was cool that I had someone my own age to play with. Peter is quite a bit older than me. He was always out with his friends, never really wanting his kid brother tagging along.
“A year passed before things started changing. My dad started drinking, becoming more and more angry. He would yell at my mom, Peter, and I; but never Tristan. He could do no wrong. Peter always left when things were starting to heat up. The moment a beer can was cracked open; his keys were in his hand. My mom appeased him by cooking and taking care of him whenever he wanted. So that left me…” I trailed off. That was the easy part. The good times compared to the rest. Everything inside me was telling me to stop, to leave the can of worms closed. But I can’t. I have come this far, I have to see through.
“As the drinking continued, and worsened, he became violet. At first he started hitting me when nobody else we around. When they were around, he would verbally abuse and punish me. He would call me worthless and lazy. I was made to feel less than everyone else in the family.” Tears started forming in my eyes. Reliving the memory and putting them to words is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Ken had placed a hand on my knee; a small gesture, but a welcome one.
“As punishment for not being Tristan, I had to clean up after everyone. More often than not, I would have to clean the kitchen or another room while everyone else was eating. Only when it was cleaned to my dad’s satisfaction, was I allowed to eat. But there was never enough food left to make a meal, mostly just scraps. If I complained about it, all I was allowed to eat was bread and water.”
I looked at Ken. He had pools in the corners of his eyes. “Oh my god. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
“That’s not the worst of it.” His facial expression changed to a look of shock. “As time went on, he didn’t care who was around; he would hit me for anything. Being slapped, kicked, even hit with a leather belt were how my days went. He always made sure to stay away from my face. He didn’t want anyone outside the house knowing what was happening when those doors closed.”
I stopped and took a deep breath. The part that I had been dreading the most was finally here; the part that’s caused me to loose so much sleep.
“Everything came to a head one night after I forgot to call and let him know where I was going to be after school. I told him that I would be at a friend’s house, which was my plan. We had a fight, so I called my now ex-boyfriend. I offered to tutor him in math. I learned that he was just playing dumb. He came up with the little ruse so that he could spend time with me.
“When I got home that night, my dad confronted me about where I had been. I told him the truth, that I was at Brent’s, but he didn’t believe me.” I paused to regain my composure. I hadn’t thought about this night in so long. Yet now that I’m about to tell the tail, I’m at a loss. I started crying, tears rolling down my cheeks as the memory of my dad’s vacant expression as he beat me within an inch of my life.
Kenneth brought his hands up to my face and wiped away the tears.
Without saying anything about what he just did, I gritted my teeth in anger and began recounting what happened. “He grabbed my hair and started punching me in the stomach, using my hair to hold me up so I wouldn’t fall to the floor. He finally let go as I started hitting back. As I dropped, he grabbed ahold of one of my arms and kicked, breaking the bones in two. Before I even had time to scream, he reared back his foot and kicked me in the chest, breaking two ribs. I screamed out for help. That enraged him even more. He punched me in the face, breaking my nose, telling me to shut up. I tried to kick him off, but somehow he broke my leg. All the fight had left me. The next thing I knew, he hands were around my neck. Then I heard my mom scream, a gunshot, and then nothing. I blacked out. When I came too, I was in the hospital, Brent holding my hand. He told me that he saved me from my dad. But he wasn’t able to help my mom. The gunshot was my dad shooting her.” I stopped talking and buried my face in my hands. Ken wrapped his arms around me without a sound. I’m not sure from shock or what, but it was comforting just to feel his embrace.
We sat for a while, Ken letting me cry. Just talking about it, painful as it was, seemed to release some of the burden and shame that I had been carrying around. At some point Ken moved one hand to my back and started rubbing. It felt so good. I lifted my head looked at him, a look at gratitude on my face.
“Thank you for sharing that with me. I’m so sorry that you had to through all that. Nobody should ever have to experience that. I am thankful that you survived and found your way to me.” Ken said.
My phone buzzed. I pulled it out to see that I got a message from Brent.
“Who’s it from?” Ken asked, almost a little jealously.
“Brent. He wants to know if we want to go to the Zoo today.”
“Like the three of us?” He asked.
“No; Collin, his new boyfriend, would go too.”
“A double date? Sounds fun. Let’s do it, get our minds on happier thoughts.”
~ We’re in. What time? ~ I sent back.
~ Get ready and head over here. ~
~ Will do. ~
“Go get ready and we’ll head over to his house.” Ken took one last sip of his coffee before handing me the cup. He stood and started towards the door. As he got to the back of the couch, he leaned down and whispered in my ear “I’ll be right back” and kissed me on the cheek.
I stood and smiled as the door closed. I made my way to my room to grab a change of clothes before getting in the shower. I started wondering whose idea it was to have this double date. If it was Brent wanting to try and keep our friendship alive outside of school or Collin wanting to see how we act around one another. I will do my best to show him that Brent and I are just friends. It might prove to be a difficult task. The feelings are still there, it wasn’t that long ago that I was sure that I not only loved Brent, but I was in love with him. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. He had the same feelings for me, whether we voiced them or not.
I finished my shower and got dressed. Sitting back on the couch, I grew impatient for Ken’s return. I couldn’t wait to spend the day with him looking at all the animals.
~
