HIV/AIDS scared shitless?

[Pushover]

The more I think about it, the more I feel more turned off to actual sex. I mean, so much around the news with AIDS/HIV/STDs, and so many people having just feels like if you even attempted to have sex with anyone (which I haven't and probably wont for some time; not till the time is right) you would be afraid of being infected.

Yeah yeah, safe sex protects against it, but that's not 100% fool proof. There is more than one way to get HIV/AIDS/STDs, and so many have to do with sex (be it anal, oral, hetero, kissing, etc). Asking people if they have it beforehand just sounds so offensive and personal.

It seems like I would be so self-conscious about getting it, it would turn me off completely. How do any of you that are active and have sex regularly get over this?

 

[albar05]

Gee buddy , i know what you mean!!

Its a mean scary world out there... but you can not live your life in fear... Just imagine all the fun your gonna miss out on..

I am in my first gay relationship with my b/f of 11/2yrs now, and in the beginning i was " scared shitless " too.....

He has been out along time and is very proud and confident in his sexuality , where as i am just getting to terms with mine, however i have been bery lucky and he is simply the best ...

He was very understanding and we spoke about the concerns i had , and it really put my mind at rest...

The best advice i can give you is , do not rush into ANYTHING, finding the right person , is the key , if they are geniue and a good guy they will address your concerns and be able to reassure you .

Good luck and remember, don;t limit your options because of fear!

Live your life and enjoy , just be safe and cautious!

Al
x

 

[Soilwork]

argh.

There's two extremes to the problem.

People who are so uneducated that they're going out and having sex without any protection at all, and people who are so mis-educatied that they're too scared to have sex to begin with.

Nothing in this world comes without a risk of some kind.

I'm in more danger when I'm riding my motorcycle the two miles to work than I ever am of being infected with HIV from giving head. That being said, just make sure that you're ready, you're ready to handle the precautions you need to take and that you're educated enough to protect yourself.

 

[jonty71]

Anyone know what the real risk of getting HIV from sucking a cock, even if he doesn't cum in your mouth there is still precum?

 

[KentuckyPython]

Here are a couple of sites with information, though I can't find actual stats for Jonty71.

http://www.amfar.org/cgi-bin/iowa/abouthiv/record.html?record=7

http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/aboutDHAP.htm

 

[tx_doc]

Asking people if they have it beforehand just sounds so offensive and personal.

I think this is a big problem. If you are willing to have sex with someone but you think that asking them if they have a disease that would change your life completely could be offensive and personal, I don't think that you are ready to have sex with anyone. You can't NOT discuss these matters with any of your sexual partners these days.

 

[Eagle653]

Taken to extremes, we could be so scared of anything that we wouldn't leave our bed in the morning or venture outside. That's no way to live.

Indeed, there are some dangerous critters out there that can be sexually transmitted, and one needs to know the facts and precautions and follow them consistently and carefully. But, it's a mistake to be so consumed with fear as to paralyze yourself into a monastery.

So, relax. Choose your partners carefully, and use common sense and good judgement. Follow the news and be educated on what's out there and how to protect yourself. Then, have fun and join the living!

 

[jockboy01]

I just want to second what others have said that life is a risk and nobody gets out alive. But just educate yourself and choose partners wisely.

And I don't think you can get HIV from kissing unless you both have cuts in the mouth or gross blood in there in which case why are you kissing anyway? Haha. But you can get mononucleosis from kissing... it's not terminal but sucks anyway.

 

[arteguy]

I came out in the late 80's when there was not much info. That was scarey. My first boyfriend told me we would only be safe and if I tried not to, just once, that would be the end. I've kept that advice, even with longer relationships. There is alot of info out there and if you educate yourself, you can decide your own risks and not have to be terrified after you have sex. There are some other things you can get other than HIV that might not be life threatening but are a pain to deal with, so find out about other STD's. Also don't get so fucked up before you do it that you can't say "put a rubber on."
I've had an adventurous sex life and have come out pretty unscathed by just not letting anyone cum in me and rubbers for anal. Also don't let your fear be an excuse not to connect with someone. Sex is worth a little work.

 

[Pushover]

Those two links KentuckyPython used were pretty informative, thanks.

Still, I see the need to ask about that sort of thing, and see the reasoning in 'if you care enough, ask' but that doesn't mean I can't find that a bit too personal. Just sounds like a 'mood killer' to me.

Not that i've ever done anything, but always thought the first thing i'd say before anything happened would be 'use a condom.' That's just common sense.

 

[oz_doc]

This study showed the risk of transmission from receptive oral sex WITH ejaculation was 0.04%, that is on average you would need to have oral sex without protection with ejaculation 2500 times to become infected. Oral sex even witha known HIV + male is very low risk. Im not advocating unprotected sexual behaviour with hiv+ partners just putting the numbers in perspective.

Vittinghoff E, Douglas J, Judson F et al.
Per-contact risk of human immuno-deficiency virus transmission between male sexual partners. Am J Epidemiol 1999;150(3):306-11.