Hi All,
First time poster, hopeful long-term user. I'm really leaning on everyone today to help me out here, or at least provide me a virtual shoulder to cry on.. in short, i'm really struggling here emotionally.
Summary:
Unfortunately I am in a nerve-wrecking situation at the moment where I had unprotected sex with someone who later found out they were HIV-Positive. In addition, because I recently moved from 1 country to another.. I haven't been able to get access to.. nor take PrEP for over 3 months. The PrEP clinics have been closed due to the COVID Situation (and the country I live in does not allow you to order PrEP online).
What Happened:
I had a sexual encounter with an individual who I am dating, and we've only had 1 sexual experience. This happened on January, 23rd. This sexual experience involved no condoms, I was the bottom and luckially - he did not cum inside me and he cummed on my stomach. There was no evidence of any pre-cum. In addition, it wasn't 'full blown sex' - he pushed his penis inside me in and out about 5-6 times if you get me? Lasting no more than 5 minutes, until eventually we just gave up because it was too sore.
Unfortunately, 4 days later - he found out that he was HIV Positive from a STI Screen he did a week before our encounter. This was highly upsetting as I had then missed the 72 Window Period to get PEP. Ultimately I know there is faults on both parties here, we should of used condoms, I should of been on PrEP and he should of told me during the sexual act that he was pending results.
For clairty, at the time - I knew I was clear because I did a Rapid HIV Test a week before and it was negative. I've had no prior sexual encounters for at least 4 months, so I knew the results were 'fact'. Moreover, I want to be clear here - we haven't had any sexual encounters (including blowjobs) since the our 1 encounter on January, 23rd.
Since then - His Situation:
Since then, I've vastly been comforting him with his recent diagnosis. Suprisingly though, he has taken it really well - instead focusing on his career, and getting ready for his upcoming academic work he needs to do over the coming months. I'm not too sure if he is putting on a 'brave face' for me or if he is someone who is just handling his news very well. If anything, he has helped me with showing it's not 'the end of the world' if you get this diagnosis.
In terms of his medical needs - he has begun his anti-viral medication and he will be going to the hospital every month. The doctors have informed him that his viral load (these are terms i'm trying to understand) is relatively low. Apparently, the Doctors have estimated that he might of had HIV for at least 6, possibly 12 months judging by his viral amount.
For context for those who don't know much about HIV - once you are intitially infected, your viral load is quite high and this is when they are particularly infectious to others. Apparently his is relatively low, meaning it does mean 'statistically' it favours a better chance that I won't be infected.
Since then - My Situation:
I have been an absolutely nervous, anxious and frankly 'panic' mess since this situation began. The fact that it takes 'weeks' to show, potentially months - is something that i am struggling to cope with emotionally.
Despite the fact that a Rapid HIV Test are not really valid until 4-12 weeks after exposure, I took a test 19 days after our sexual encounter and this was negative. This is fantastic news but I am not out the woods yet.
Of course I've explained my situation to an Emergency Clinic and they have offered to give me a full blood check for HIV on March 2nd. This will be 38 days or 5 weeks since potential exposure. They have told me that due to it being a 'full blood' check and not a Rapid 'fingerprick' test, they are very confident that they will be able to detect if i have HIV or not then. In turn, they don't want to do this any sooner as it wouldn't be as accurate.
So now... I wait...
Final Note
Despite everything that's going on, I really do like the person I am dating. I don't want HIV to be a factor in our relationship and I don't want it to be a reason for us to stop seeing each other (regardless of the outcome). I suppose the 'light' in this dark situation is that we have been both been there for each and quite frankly, I have broken down in tears over this situation countless time and he has been the one to pick me up and comfort me (even though it should be the other way around!).
I know there is a wider conversation around how we can have a healthy sex life after this situation (regardless of the outcome) and that's a scenario we can look into after March 2nd, but frankly.. I am not in the right frame emotionally to even talk about that.
Advise
Effectively, I just want to know from everyone if anyone can shed any support or light to help me get through this situation. Does anyone provide any advise, or help keep my mind at ease? How bad is my chances 'statistically' here? If anything, I would love to know if anyone has gone through something similar or has any words of wisdom at all.
In short, I really don't know what I'm asking for other - I'm just scared.
First time poster, hopeful long-term user. I'm really leaning on everyone today to help me out here, or at least provide me a virtual shoulder to cry on.. in short, i'm really struggling here emotionally.
Summary:
Unfortunately I am in a nerve-wrecking situation at the moment where I had unprotected sex with someone who later found out they were HIV-Positive. In addition, because I recently moved from 1 country to another.. I haven't been able to get access to.. nor take PrEP for over 3 months. The PrEP clinics have been closed due to the COVID Situation (and the country I live in does not allow you to order PrEP online).
What Happened:
I had a sexual encounter with an individual who I am dating, and we've only had 1 sexual experience. This happened on January, 23rd. This sexual experience involved no condoms, I was the bottom and luckially - he did not cum inside me and he cummed on my stomach. There was no evidence of any pre-cum. In addition, it wasn't 'full blown sex' - he pushed his penis inside me in and out about 5-6 times if you get me? Lasting no more than 5 minutes, until eventually we just gave up because it was too sore.
Unfortunately, 4 days later - he found out that he was HIV Positive from a STI Screen he did a week before our encounter. This was highly upsetting as I had then missed the 72 Window Period to get PEP. Ultimately I know there is faults on both parties here, we should of used condoms, I should of been on PrEP and he should of told me during the sexual act that he was pending results.
For clairty, at the time - I knew I was clear because I did a Rapid HIV Test a week before and it was negative. I've had no prior sexual encounters for at least 4 months, so I knew the results were 'fact'. Moreover, I want to be clear here - we haven't had any sexual encounters (including blowjobs) since the our 1 encounter on January, 23rd.
Since then - His Situation:
Since then, I've vastly been comforting him with his recent diagnosis. Suprisingly though, he has taken it really well - instead focusing on his career, and getting ready for his upcoming academic work he needs to do over the coming months. I'm not too sure if he is putting on a 'brave face' for me or if he is someone who is just handling his news very well. If anything, he has helped me with showing it's not 'the end of the world' if you get this diagnosis.
In terms of his medical needs - he has begun his anti-viral medication and he will be going to the hospital every month. The doctors have informed him that his viral load (these are terms i'm trying to understand) is relatively low. Apparently, the Doctors have estimated that he might of had HIV for at least 6, possibly 12 months judging by his viral amount.
For context for those who don't know much about HIV - once you are intitially infected, your viral load is quite high and this is when they are particularly infectious to others. Apparently his is relatively low, meaning it does mean 'statistically' it favours a better chance that I won't be infected.
Since then - My Situation:
I have been an absolutely nervous, anxious and frankly 'panic' mess since this situation began. The fact that it takes 'weeks' to show, potentially months - is something that i am struggling to cope with emotionally.
Despite the fact that a Rapid HIV Test are not really valid until 4-12 weeks after exposure, I took a test 19 days after our sexual encounter and this was negative. This is fantastic news but I am not out the woods yet.
Of course I've explained my situation to an Emergency Clinic and they have offered to give me a full blood check for HIV on March 2nd. This will be 38 days or 5 weeks since potential exposure. They have told me that due to it being a 'full blood' check and not a Rapid 'fingerprick' test, they are very confident that they will be able to detect if i have HIV or not then. In turn, they don't want to do this any sooner as it wouldn't be as accurate.
So now... I wait...
Final Note
Despite everything that's going on, I really do like the person I am dating. I don't want HIV to be a factor in our relationship and I don't want it to be a reason for us to stop seeing each other (regardless of the outcome). I suppose the 'light' in this dark situation is that we have been both been there for each and quite frankly, I have broken down in tears over this situation countless time and he has been the one to pick me up and comfort me (even though it should be the other way around!).
I know there is a wider conversation around how we can have a healthy sex life after this situation (regardless of the outcome) and that's a scenario we can look into after March 2nd, but frankly.. I am not in the right frame emotionally to even talk about that.
Advise
Effectively, I just want to know from everyone if anyone can shed any support or light to help me get through this situation
. Does anyone provide any advise, or help keep my mind at ease? How bad is my chances 'statistically' here? If anything, I would love to know if anyone has gone through something similar or has any words of wisdom at all. In short, I really don't know what I'm asking for other - I'm just scared
.
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. It's been an extremely stressful few weeks but in the last few days, it's been confirmed via blood tests that I am negative and did not get infected. I am so relieved!! 
