Hmm...Define: DATING

[tcrawford18]

Soo, I've been dating this guy, Kevin for a little while now. (Pizza guy from my other post not too long ago) and things have been great, but it's not THAT serious, at least for me I didn't think it was. It's not like we're together everyday, and texting nonstop or anything.

So, I've also been dating a guy I recently met, Preston. Like, goin out to dinner, or a movie, hangin out at home...etc. I thought that's kinda what dating is. And, also, I have had sex with him.

But then Kevin just found out I was involved with Preston, and now he's pissed off at me. It's not like I was hiding it or anything, I honestly didn't think it was a big deal. I thought that "dating" involved going out with guys, getting to know them, and seeing if you wanted to take things further and make them your boyfriend. Neither one of the these two boys have asked me to be their boyfriend yet. So I didn't think I had been cheating. But now I sorta feel like I did.

So did I cheat? Or am I right to say that Kevin is overreacting...

 

[Corny]

Hmm .. some people see "dating" as what you described, others see dating as "meeting guys for sex".
But both of you see it like you described .. meeting guys, going out with the ultimate goal to find a partner.
And that's probably the point. While Kevin has not asked you, it seems he has hopes that a relationship will develop. And now he thinks that from your side it is unlikely, since most guys when they are seriously considering a guy would stop dating other guys ..

 

[tcrawford18]

Ok, I see where you're coming from, but my thing is, I really do like Kevin alot, but I'm not sure YET if I like him enough to be committed to him. So which is worse, dating other guys while figuring that out, or asking him to be my boyfriend, only to find out I'm not feeling it anymore and then break his heart more by dumping him?

And I guess what I'm saying is, I thought dating was when you're still in the casual stage of the relationship and dating multiple guys at one time is allright. When you make someone your boyfriend, that's when it's official and you shouldn't see any other guys anymore.

 

[hotb0d]

the question now is what will you do about kevin?

explain your logic, apologize and maybe he will continue dating you? I mean he got mad/jealous, so I'm assuming his definition of 'dating' is different than yours.

 

[gotdimples77]

yeah, i think you just need to negotiate the meaning of dating with Kevin. His willingness to do so might help you decide if you want to date him some more or "boyfriend him"(?)

 

[Corny]

And I guess what I'm saying is, I thought dating was when you're still in the casual stage of the relationship and dating multiple guys at one time is allright. When you make someone your boyfriend, that's when it's official and you shouldn't see any other guys anymore.

Yes .. but maybe he is already pretty sure? And now you're also dating another guy. And Kevin already suddenly sees what he is hoping for in jeopardy. If you were in his position, you wouldn't like it either ..
You need to talk with him.

 

[tcrawford18]

Thanks guys

After some silent treatment from him, I finally got Kevin to agree to talk with me later today about our, um, relationship?...and about Preston. And then depending on how that goes I may or may not have to talk with Preston next.

I wonder if he'll go for a 3 way relationship...is it ok to have 2 boyfriends at once? hehe

 

[blackbeltninja]

Um... my gut says no.

I think dating should be between 2 people only. I mean, how much are you finding out whether you want to be with one guy if you're already thinking about the date you're having with the other guy tomorrow night?

I think you know quite early on whether or not someone if boyfriend or girlfriend material; at least, I think I do. I can normally tell within 3 or 4 dates that this thing is worth pursuing or not. If by then I'm still not sure that I want to commit to that person I assume that deep down I know I don't want to commit to them.

That's my two .za cents' worth.
-d-