Holiday Blues

[JonHCA]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder

So, any other JUBers out there suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)?

The past few years I've started to notice my mood dipping quite a bit towards the end of year, and this year is no exception. I've been reading articles online, and it seems like most attribute it to impossible expectations (cooking, travel, gifts, etc.), family tension, and overall fatigue from all the activity!

Although I can relate to some of that, I think part of it is memories of happier holidays in the past and being reminded that I've got to push through another year alone. :-\

I try to keep in mind it's only two months, and it'll all be over for another year. Anyone have any tips for staying positive with SAD?

 

[Zaphod]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder

So, any other JUBers out there suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)?

The past few years I've started to notice my mood dipping quite a bit towards the end of year, and this year is no exception. I've been reading articles online, and it seems like most attribute it to impossible expectations (cooking, travel, gifts, etc.), family tension, and overall fatigue from all the activity!

Although I can relate to some of that, I think part of it is memories of happier holidays in the past and being reminded that I've got to push through another year alone. :-

I try to keep in mind it's only two months, and it'll all be over for another year. Anyone have any tips for staying positive with SAD?

There are meds that can help. Taking advantage of sunlight whenever you can is a good idea too.

 

[Esquire0399]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasonal_affective_disorder

So, any other JUBers out there suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)?

The past few years I've started to notice my mood dipping quite a bit towards the end of year, and this year is no exception. I've been reading articles online, and it seems like most attribute it to impossible expectations (cooking, travel, gifts, etc.), family tension, and overall fatigue from all the activity!

Although I can relate to some of that, I think part of it is memories of happier holidays in the past and being reminded that I've got to push through another year alone. :-

I try to keep in mind it's only two months, and it'll all be over for another year. Anyone have any tips for staying positive with SAD?

I wish I could help you feel better but I have a hard time doing that from my computer. Have one of these though.

 

[birddog7]

So, any other JUBers out there suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)?

Oh yes. I definitely do. I hate winter, cold weather, and the holidays. The ONLY good thing about the holidays is a bit of time off from work. I usually feel worse in winter, and especially around the holidays. Although, I felt awfully bad this summer, and especially, late summer/fall this year.

The past few years I've started to notice my mood dipping quite a bit towards the end of year, and this year is no exception. I've been reading articles online, and it seems like most attribute it to impossible expectations (cooking, travel, gifts, etc.), family tension, and overall fatigue from all the activity!

For me it's not any of that. I don't do anything for the holidays. No cooking, no travel, no exchange of gifts. I don't see that much of what little is left of my family. Since I don't do anything, it's not fatigue from the activity.

Although I can relate to some of that, I think part of it is memories of happier holidays in the past and being reminded that I've got to push through another year alone. :-

I can surely relate to that. Happier times gone by from the past always haunt me. Being sad, and lonely always hurt. The holidays make it worse. Seeing everyone else having fun for the holidays makes it much worse. I'll spend the holidays, like most all other of my days, alone, and sad.

I will say one thing: If I looked like you, I would not be alone, or lonely!

I try to keep in mind it's only two months, and it'll all be over for another year. Anyone have any tips for staying positive with SAD?

I can't help with that. I'm so negative, I give off electrons. I don't think I have a single proton in me...

 

[JonHCA]

Hmm...I have no idea. But I can get just about anyone to get into a good mood somehow. Even if I have to make an ass of myself.

And it comes to you oh so naturally.

There are meds that can help. Taking advantage of sunlight whenever you can is a good idea too.

Yeah, I've tried medication before...fucked with my body so much though. I don't think I'd go near them again.

I wish I could help you feel better but I have a hard time doing that from my computer. Have one of these though.

Thank you. =) Means a lot!

Sweetheart, I was there a couple weeks ago.

I don't know why, but this time of year really makes me feel so depressed and unhappy. Even though the trees are really beautiful, the leaves are blowing, and it looks literally like something out a film outside...it can also be very cold, dark and dreary.

My emotions are all over the place right now.

It's not even that I'm alone. I have my boyfriend and friends around when I need companionship and warmth, but I still just don't feel right during this time of year.

I honestly would like to skip from November to March.

Here's what I recommend...

Keep the inside of your home bright and cheerful as possible.
Listen to music you love, read good books, watch your favorite films, and most importantly--don't go outside unless you have to. Keep warm as well...

Thanks for the advice. It feels better to know there are some others out there going through the same thing. I'm trying to listen to some good music, and I really only leave the house for work, so I got those down. I'm hoping those will help.

I can surely relate to that. Happier times gone by from the past always haunt me. Being sad, and lonely always hurt. The holidays make it worse. Seeing everyone else having fun for the holidays makes it much worse. I'll spend the holidays, like most all other of my days, alone, and sad.

I agree with you there. It certainly doesn't help matters...

I will say one thing: If I looked like you, I would not be alone, or lonely!

Haha, thank you! I've gotta be doing something wrong...

if possible

get out of the house and off of the computer

spent you time face/face with needy people, volunteer at a shelter or food kitchen or such

Yeah, I'm considering that...It might be a good idea to get out a bit sometimes too.

That really helps me. Being out in the sun generally puts me in a good mood, but especially during this time.

Winter has a way of depressing me. I tend to eat more, and also sleep a lot more, and it's instantly noticeable. The only thing that keeps me upbeat are the holidays. After those pass and the landscapes here are just consistently gray and barren...I don't see how you can not be depressed by it all.

Usually the eating more helps with my mood. XD I'm the kid who eats his feelings, definitely. But we'll see if it helps this year.

 

[JonHCA]

Sorry, but did you just call me an ass?

Well, I certainly didn't call ya the Queen of England...Although you may be the queen of something.

 

[Jayden]

Xanax . . . . .

 

[MJEH89]

I think it's because we lose sight of the fantasy of the winter holidays as we age. We come to learn that there is no Santa Claus. We learn that even though Uncle Joe is invited over every Thanksgiving, his company really isn't that appreciated by our families. We learn that even the meals themselves require food expenses and preparation. We may have to start buying gifts for our friends/family. And of course, this involves integrating with the holiday shopping traffic at malls/stores, and the added financial burdens, eradicating even more of the "fantasy world" the holidays used to be for us as children.

I know this doesn't really help you, but I think it's part of the reason people get bummed out this time of year. They're trying to relive the "fantasies" that were created for them as children. You can't go back to being five years old.

 

[HunterM]

You don't have to be alone for the holidays Jon. You can create new happy memories with your friends this season. The key is to get out and do something with your friends.

1. Host a party...perhaps a video game party, rockband party, Thanksgiving party, movie night party or game night party is always fun! Games like Taboo, pictionary, etc.

2. Join a local club to meet new people: non profit organizations, bicycling club, surfing club, boating club, etc. Once people know I'm single and living away from home and missing my family, they invited me to their Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner parties! As cute as you are, I'm sure people would want to take you home with them.

Cheers!

 

[JonHCA]

Show me some fucking respect!

Yeah, yeah, as soon as I show you that, you'll just be asking me to show you more...I know how the game's played.

I think it's because we lose sight of the fantasy of the winter holidays as we age. We come to learn that there is no Santa Claus. We learn that even though Uncle Joe is invited over every Thanksgiving, his company really isn't that appreciated by our families. We learn that even the meals themselves require food expenses and preparation. We may have to start buying gifts for our friends/family. And of course, this involves integrating with the holiday shopping traffic at malls/stores, and the added financial burdens, eradicating even more of the "fantasy world" the holidays used to be for us as children.

I know this doesn't really help you, but I think it's part of the reason people get bummed out this time of year. They're trying to relive the "fantasies" that were created for them as children. You can't go back to being five years old.

You make good points. As much as I'd like to be five years old again, it's not gonna happen, and that does sort of hurt. I think a lot of people ruin their lives with fairytale thinking...I'm trying not to be one of them.

You don't have to be alone for the holidays Jon. You can create new happy memories with your friends this season. The key is to get out and do something with your friends.

1. Host a party...perhaps a video game party, rockband party, Thanksgiving party, movie night party or game night party is always fun! Games like Taboo, pictionary, etc.

2. Join a local club to meet new people: non profit organizations, bicycling club, surfing club, boating club, etc. Once people know I'm single and living away from home and missing my family, they invited me to their Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner parties! As cute as you are, I'm sure people would want to take you home with them.

Cheers!

I gotta get out and make some friends first! Then I could do all of that...But that's one of my issues, I'm just not the outgoing type. I'm sure that also contributes to my gloomy mood, so I've really gotta work on that. Thank you for your advice. =D

Well yes, it definitely helps, but stuffing my face isn't exactly healthy .

I do a lot of photography also, but of course that also becomes dark in tone since everything is asleep for the season.

And why is Winter only about 3 months? It feels like it lasts for so much longer than that ..I guess it's something I never really paid attention to..

Ha, no kidding. The season is just begging for you to be depressed. And then it's over and you realize you've gained 15 pounds. More reasons to be depressed. XD

 

[JonHCA]

Oh, so you've been around the block a few times. Haven't you?
It's always the ones that look the sweetest and innocent. lol

Coming from the guy who has fucked on cruise ship balconies and in a cemetery, that doesn't mean much.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>So, any other JUBers out there suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)?

I thought I did for several years, but I've since been told I don't. It starts in October as the days get shorter, and usually hangs around through January or early February. I've since been told that true cases of SAD don't start until November or December at the earliest. But whatever it is, it's something similar. I feel, in general, more negative. I might feel cranky, I might feel lethargic, I might feel helpless, I might feel depressed, I might feel hopeless, I might even feel despair. In the best years, I might have a few days during the entire "season" when I feel mildly off. In the worst years, those entire months are kinda shot to hell. Luckily, it's been a while since I had a bad year, although this one has been a bit worse than the last few.

I certainly don't attribute it to end-of-year or holiday stress, mainly because I have none. My family is decently close-knit, there's no bad blood anywhere, and our holiday "celebrations" are pretty low-key. I'm assuming it has to do with the decreased sunlight.

You know what helps for me? A $2 string of multi-colored mini Christmas lights. No kidding. I put a string of them around my desk at home and at work, and turn them on when I'm working. It's not like they instantly make me feel better, but somehow, they seem to calm things down. You might give it a try. If they don't work, hey, you wasted $2, and your desk is festive.

Lex

 

[Joshua_me]

I think a lot of holiday depression that gay men feel stems from the *constant* wad of BS we're fed by the media.

Christmas is all about a big family gathering 'round the tree and watching the little kiddies unwrap their gifts then going out in the backyard and playing some football with the guys until "dinner's ready" is announced and we all gather around our wives and kids and family and dig into the holiday bird.

This is a "reality" that doesn't exist for many gay men and women.

So, as Charlie Brown succinctly put it in "A Charlie Brown Christmas Special" : " I know I'm not popular...Why do we have to have a holiday to emphasize it ? "

(WAY ahead of his time, that Charles Shultz was...)

 

[CUMMINGS]

Some good suggestions to you here, Jon. Liked the ideas of volunteering and also doing social things, hosting your own party, as ways to break the holiday blues.

We tend to define happy as doing it on other people's terms. The holidays are not all like the Sunday Night CBS movie, wonderful presents, beautiful homes, and beautiful people being perfect with each other. Those programs and attitudes are more Science Fiction than ACTUAL Science Fiction. We get sucked into the vortex of belief that these two months are somehow perfect.

Do things that make you happy, on your terms, as you would any other time of the year. I took up cross-country and downhill skiing, when I was feeling very bummed that winter was here again. Now, I sucked at both, but it gave me a reason to be out with friends and have some fun. I also volunteered at a local shelter, helping to prepare the lunches and dinners. It was really tough to see kids in the shelter, with no home, but I realized it was good to be there helping out, and that perhaps, my lot in life was okay, all things considered.

 

[Poozy1]

SAD What a cute acronym! Hope you can get a little happier JonHCA you look too cute to frown! Here's a bearhug for you!

 

[JayHawk]

Everyone has great ideas... might i add that volunteering with a LGBT group could introduce you to like minded friends. I felt more and more distressed as i grew older and my straight friends had family activities and what not and i had nothing but the big party at the gay club.... some of those parties were fun but not a equal replacement for a family like gathering for the various holidays....

It wasn't until I looked in different areas for gay friends that I found a family that welcomed me as is with all my good and bad....

SAD is seasonly related but you can do something about it if you want to Jon...

Sierra Club

GLAAD

The Center SD

Just a few suggestions... I do Habit for Humanity that isnt specifically gay...in fact it is Christian but they dont judge...

 

[JonHCA]

>>>So, any other JUBers out there suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)?

I thought I did for several years, but I've since been told I don't. It starts in October as the days get shorter, and usually hangs around through January or early February. I've since been told that true cases of SAD don't start until November or December at the earliest. But whatever it is, it's something similar. I feel, in general, more negative. I might feel cranky, I might feel lethargic, I might feel helpless, I might feel depressed, I might feel hopeless, I might even feel despair. In the best years, I might have a few days during the entire "season" when I feel mildly off. In the worst years, those entire months are kinda shot to hell. Luckily, it's been a while since I had a bad year, although this one has been a bit worse than the last few.

I certainly don't attribute it to end-of-year or holiday stress, mainly because I have none. My family is decently close-knit, there's no bad blood anywhere, and our holiday "celebrations" are pretty low-key. I'm assuming it has to do with the decreased sunlight.

You know what helps for me? A $2 string of multi-colored mini Christmas lights. No kidding. I put a string of them around my desk at home and at work, and turn them on when I'm working. It's not like they instantly make me feel better, but somehow, they seem to calm things down. You might give it a try. If they don't work, hey, you wasted $2, and your desk is festive.



Lex

What you describe seems close enough to me... *shrugs* I'll try to get some lights, though. That'd be a nice touch. =P

I think a lot of holiday depression that gay men feel stems from the *constant* wad of BS we're fed by the media.

Christmas is all about a big family gathering 'round the tree and watching the little kiddies unwrap their gifts then going out in the backyard and playing some football with the guys until "dinner's ready" is announced and we all gather around our wives and kids and family and dig into the holiday bird.

This is a "reality" that doesn't exist for many gay men and women.

So, as Charlie Brown succinctly put it in "A Charlie Brown Christmas Special" : " I know I'm not popular...Why do we have to have a holiday to emphasize it ? "

(WAY ahead of his time, that Charles Shultz was...)

Ha, I wouldn't doubt any of that. Makes a lot of sense. In the end, I don't think my ideal holidays would really be asking for much. I don't need anybody to buy shit for me, or make some extravagant meal. It would be nice to just spend some decent time with family, but it seems like everyone's too busy with their own lives to put any time towards that anymore.

Some good suggestions to you here, Jon. Liked the ideas of volunteering and also doing social things, hosting your own party, as ways to break the holiday blues.

We tend to define happy as doing it on other people's terms. The holidays are not all like the Sunday Night CBS movie, wonderful presents, beautiful homes, and beautiful people being perfect with each other. Those programs and attitudes are more Science Fiction than ACTUAL Science Fiction. We get sucked into the vortex of belief that these two months are somehow perfect.

Do things that make you happy, on your terms, as you would any other time of the year. I took up cross-country and downhill skiing, when I was feeling very bummed that winter was here again. Now, I sucked at both, but it gave me a reason to be out with friends and have some fun. I also volunteered at a local shelter, helping to prepare the lunches and dinners. It was really tough to see kids in the shelter, with no home, but I realized it was good to be there helping out, and that perhaps, my lot in life was okay, all things considered.

It'd be nice to get some perspective on life. That's a good idea. Sometimes I feel guilty because I whine about my mood when really it could be a hell of a lot worse...I need to remember that.

SAD What a cute acronym! Hope you can get a little happier JonHCA you look too cute to frown! Here's a bearhug for you!

Hehe, thank you. Appreciate it. =)

Everyone has great ideas... might i add that volunteering with a LGBT group could introduce you to like minded friends. I felt more and more distressed as i grew older and my straight friends had family activities and what not and i had nothing but the big party at the gay club.... some of those parties were fun but not a equal replacement for a family like gathering for the various holidays....

It wasn't until I looked in different areas for gay friends that I found a family that welcomed me as is with all my good and bad....

SAD is seasonly related but you can do something about it if you want to Jon...

Sierra Club

GLAAD

The Center SD

Just a few suggestions... I do Habit for Humanity that isnt specifically gay...in fact it is Christian but they dont judge...

I'd love to volunteer someplace on a regular basis, but most weekdays I already feel so drained from work that I just want to relax on the weekend instead of being...well, active. It's something I could do once in a while, but I don't think I could make it a weekly commitment. I'll still look into seeing what they're offering at the moment. Thank you.

 

[G-Lexington]

And thank YOU for this thread. It reminded me I had to go get a new string of Christmas lights for my desk.

Lex

 

[Ninja108]

I do... I have a sunlight that I use for an hour every morning to help perk me up.