I've always loved Autumn and right into and through the Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons. It's been my favorite time of the year. However, today when I was putting up my Christmas tree, I had a wave of emotion overtake me like I haven't had before.
I was so looking forward to decorating. I put my Kenny G Christmas CD on. I lit my Mistletoe scented Yankee Candle which filled the house with a holiday aroma. I was really going to get into the Christmas spirit and just enjoy the coziness I had created in my home while I decorated my tree.
I thought of my childhood when decorating the tree was so fun and festive as my brothers and parents participated together. I so loved those days. Suddenly, a wave of loneliness came over me and I almost started crying (and I don't cry easily). I realized how alone in this world I really am. Putting the tree up instantly became a bitter chore and the joyous memories were sucked from my mind.
Here I was in my living room that had an outward appearance of happiness and peace yet I was experiencing turmoil inside. The decorating suddenly became meaningless and I even debated continuing. I sucked it up and finished.
I thought about growing old all alone with no family of my own and to be honest, I started feeling sorry for myself. I wondered why I've never found anyone. I know I'm not the only guy in this predicament. So for all of you lonely guys out there, I empathize with you and truly do wish for you exactly what your hearts are longing for.
And for all of you guys who have found love, cherish it and be extra thankful this holiday season. I've dreamed for it, hoped for it and wished for it my whole life and still love eludes me. I want to love this holiday season but instead of loving me back, it seems as though the season is going to constantly remind me of how single and alone I actually am. As wonderful as life can be at times, there are times when it's just plain cruel.
I was so looking forward to decorating. I put my Kenny G Christmas CD on. I lit my Mistletoe scented Yankee Candle which filled the house with a holiday aroma. I was really going to get into the Christmas spirit and just enjoy the coziness I had created in my home while I decorated my tree.
I thought of my childhood when decorating the tree was so fun and festive as my brothers and parents participated together. I so loved those days. Suddenly, a wave of loneliness came over me and I almost started crying (and I don't cry easily). I realized how alone in this world I really am. Putting the tree up instantly became a bitter chore and the joyous memories were sucked from my mind.
Here I was in my living room that had an outward appearance of happiness and peace yet I was experiencing turmoil inside. The decorating suddenly became meaningless and I even debated continuing. I sucked it up and finished.
I thought about growing old all alone with no family of my own and to be honest, I started feeling sorry for myself. I wondered why I've never found anyone. I know I'm not the only guy in this predicament. So for all of you lonely guys out there, I empathize with you and truly do wish for you exactly what your hearts are longing for.
And for all of you guys who have found love, cherish it and be extra thankful this holiday season. I've dreamed for it, hoped for it and wished for it my whole life and still love eludes me. I want to love this holiday season but instead of loving me back, it seems as though the season is going to constantly remind me of how single and alone I actually am. As wonderful as life can be at times, there are times when it's just plain cruel.