holy crap i think i'm falling in love

[voyager1994]

I've been hanging out with a work colleague for over two years now and we've become very close friends. These last few weeks, I've been thinking a lot about him and actually miss him if we don't see each other for days (he's been transferred to a different location so we only get to see each other maybe once or twice a week and sometimes not even). He doesn't know I'm gay, and according to my gaydar he's not gay. There were times I just want to kiss him (I have this funny feeling that he might be open to it but I'm not 100 percent sure). I'm tempted to open up to him my feelings, but to what end I don't really know. The worst case scenario is he will freak out, break up the friendship, and probably never see me again.

What say you?

 

[Blaze2010]

I have something similar happening to me too at work! Except i've heard he has asked about where any good gay bars are! I just don't know if the source is reliable i know he's not gay but he could be bisexual i'm just not sure. I wish i knew without telling him i like him in that way but it's hard to tell. Most bi guys act straight this is where i have the problem. He hasn't a clue about me i don't think! I'm bi so he couldn't tell anyways. Wish i could tell him i just don't want to come out at work anywhere else but home and there is ok. I would say give it a try just hint not really tell him your gay but kinda beat around the bush with it. But what do i know i can't even seem to try this myself! I'm chickenshit.

 

[Under-taken]

I would never risk a friendship over an intuition about if he is / isn't, could really ruin it for you. I'd try and test the water before putting it all on the line.

 

[jaysizzles]

He's a close friend...keep it that way! By all means though...it is time to let him know you are gay. If he really is a friend, it shouldn't make a difference. DO NOT start professing your feelings for him...as you already suspect, they won't be reciprocated. You will freak him out if you tell him you have these feelings for him and/or if you just planted a big kiss on him.

If by some way far off chance he has any feelings for you or gay/bi tendencies...he'll somehow let you in on that in his own way....but don't sit around waiting for this to happen (because it ain't gonna happen! ). Time to shift your romantic attention onto someone else that will return your affection.

 

[rareboy]

Same advice that I'd offer in CO&R.

Tell him you're gay if he doesn't know.

Don't fuck a co-worker.

Don't fuck a friend unless you are going to spend the rest of your life together as a result.

 

[AaronG]

Best advice I got about having a non-returnable crush on a coworker (and I've definitely been there): just enjoy it.

Don't do anything dumb, recognize the situation for what it is, and you'll just have nice feelings about him until it wears off.

 

[voyager1994]

Thanks guys, you've all given very sensible advice. My thoughts exactly are just to enjoy his company and our time together, we really get along well it's not worth ruining the friendship. Soon I'll tell him I'm gay, and when that day comes I'd be ready with the worst case scenario where he chooses not to hang out with me after finding out.