Homosexual males who want biological children

[Diego_Ryan]

We know that women who want a child without sex or the burden of a partner can get artificial insemination, from sperm obtained from sperm banks. I guess this could benefit lesbians, but what about homosexual men. I’ve seen ads in the newspaper asking women to donate eggs for couples who can’t have children. So, my question is, has there been a case in which a homosexual male was able to fertilize one of those eggs and then have it inserted in surrogate mother (she carries a child that is not biologically related to her) or is the system biased in favor of woman?

This could be a way for gay men to have children of their own; although it would most likely benefit upper middle class to upper class males, who have enough money to pay surrogate mother’s who can cost from 25-50K.

So, has this happened before and would you want to pay a surrogate mother to carry your child?

 

[Pushover]

In all seriousness, after helping babysitting my two nephews for almost three years, I intend to get myself fixed if I ever become attracted to women.

 

[Pushover]

Seems much easier to just simply invite over the ditzy 22 year old woman who lives across the way or works in your office....get drunk, get stupid and then BAM.....9 months later, the doctors are asking you if you want to cut the umbilical chord.

I'm supposed to stick my dick in WHAT!?

 

[Shepherd 2]

After three months at JUB
I am realizing that some gay men want nothing to do with
women or heterosexual sex at all costs, even removal of the
testicles. I cannot even entertain that idea for a second.

Some gay men would never want to have children because
they simply do not want children. And I can sort of understand that. Half of all heterosexual couples elect not to have children, but enjoy an active sex life.
And others could not even imagine for one minute an act of heterosexual sex, even if it held the promise of children whom they want desperately.

And some gay men do want children, and find that the process is expensive. Others have found that they live in a supportive family, and in some instances, where privacy rules the day, a woman family member becomes the surrogate mother for her brother or distant cousin or family friend, for the cost of the procedure. There may be some moral shades of grey about that, but one can understand the desire for children two, and this usually does require heterosexual sex.

I am a gay man who has three children and will soon have two grandchildren. I really like being a father and grandfather. I was married for a number of years and fathered and raised into adulthood my three children. Heterosexual sex was not revollting to me. Obviously, I was able to have orgasms. I am fortunate. I had a wife, and I know that I loved her and still do. But I am gay, and I am now living out that part of my life. The two are not polar opposites. I am not really a different man now than I was then. I know now that I was always gay. What I did was what I did, and neither right or wrong.

Let us be assured, this can be a difficult and complicated problem for some. I believe it will take a fifty to one hundred year period to sort out the implication of all of these aspects of gay life. But to the wealthy, they will find it easier. To the one's who have supportive family and even on occasion friends, it will be easier still. But for some it will not be accessible for them.
Shep+

 

[kevbo]

do it Weetzie Bat style

 

[Diego_Ryan]

Yes. It is done all the time. It is a long and expensive process.
I'm not sure what you mean here though. There are different ways of doing it.
Surrogate: The biological mother and you have the children through artificial insemination.
Egg donor and surrogate carrier: The biological mother donates the eggs and are fertilized with the sperm and implanted in the surrogate carrier.

The latter is a much better option since the biological mother does not have to carry the child / children and thus easier on her and the surrogate carrier since the the carrier is not the bilogical mother of the child / children.
In both cases you are required to have a lawyer to deal with issues. They can arise in I imagine the surrogate (or first) option should the surrogate become attached to the child / children and may not want to "release" them to the intended parent. My guess is that the intended parent is favored but I am not sure.
The costs of these procedures are far more expensive than the number you provided. They can easily run from $60,000 to $90,000 depending on the procedure (which may not always work on the first attempt). You are not only taking care of the surrogate but also the lawyer, surrogate agency, doctors, procedures, egg donors, etc...
It's expensive and it's trivial but it's all worth it in the end. Trust me.
The best option again: Egg donor and surrogate carrier.

Hope this helps. If you need more info you can always try here:

http://www.circlesurrogacy.com/

What exactly don’t you understand about my thread? Everything you stated on your reply is stated in my original post. The only thing I wanted to know was whether or not gay men could go to clinics and obtain a female egg, fertilize it with their sperm and then have it placed in a surrogate mother. I had never heard of such cases so I was wondering if they did in fact occur.

Also, the number I provided was only the payment of the surrogate mother.

 

[-Lance-]

I never want kids.

We have straights for that nasty businnes.

 

[Diego_Ryan]

There may be some moral shades of grey about that, but one can understand the desire for children two, and this usually does require heterosexual sex.

The problem is that the mother would most likely want custody as well. I also think it's terrible because you'd merely be using that person to get a child (You hurt people that way). While in the case involving egg donors and surrogate mother’s the real biological mother is not known and she donated the egg because she wanted to help someone else have a child.

I am a gay man who has three children and will soon have two grandchildren. I really like being a father and grandfather. I was married for a number of years and fathered and raised into adulthood my three children. Heterosexual sex was not revollting to me. Obviously, I was able to have orgasms. I am fortunate. I had a wife, and I know that I loved her and still do. But I am gay, and I am now living out that part of my life. The two are not polar opposites. I am not really a different man now than I was then. I know now that I was always gay. What I did was what I did, and neither right or wrong.

Doesn't that make you bisexual then? If you were able to have sex with your wife or did you think about men while doing it with her?

 

[tonyboy]

What exactly don’t you understand about my thread? Everything you stated on your reply is stated in my original post. The only thing I wanted to know was whether or not gay men could go to clinics and obtain a female egg, fertilize it with their sperm and then have it placed in a surrogate mother. I had never heard of such cases so I was wondering if they did in fact occur.

Also, the number I provided was only the payment of the surrogate mother.

Well, if you had the money I'm sure you could have any procedure performed you want to have.
Just depends on the doctors and your financial ability.
Let me suggest another approach if you really want to have a child.
One of the finest two guys I've ever known of jub were a couple. Both about your age.
They decided to adopt a child. And I couldn't see any better parents to a child than these two guys.
They were both educated, professionals.... had a good life to offer to this little boy.
A little child that doesn't much of a future for various reasons would be blessed by having a father (such as you) that would love and care for him.....
Just a thought.
I figure you'd be a very fine father to such a child.

 

[Diego_Ryan]

Well, if you had the money I'm sure you could have any procedure performed you want to have.
Just depends on the doctors and your financial ability.
Let me suggest another approach if you really want to have a child.
One of the finest two guys I've ever known of jub were a couple. Both about your age.
They decided to adopt a child. And I couldn't see any better parents to a child than these two guys.
They were both educated, professionals.... had a good life to offer to this little boy.
A little child that doesn't much of a future for various reasons would be blessed by having a father (such as you) that would love and care for him.....
Just a thought.
I figure you'd be a very fine father to such a child.

That's nice, but those children would not have your DNA so they wouldn't pass on your genes.

Perhaps later on when the procedure becomes more common the price of the of it will be lowered.

 

[Kurn]

Time to post a suggestion I aired about a year ago: Why not have 4-parent families?
Think about it: 1 kid, 4 parents; 4 siblings? they each still have one older-person to provide attention.
The drawback might be, who's got a big enough house for all those people?
Well, some people I'm sure have already done the experiment and you might google-around for some testimony.
But 2X2, that might be an improvement on the traditional family. Seriously.

 

[Diego_Ryan]

Well, it doesn't work that way. You just don't go and pick a woman and extract her eggs and fertilize it with your sperm and BAM! you get a kid. It's alot more involved and there are many laws in place and doctors would not even touch anyone unless they have been through a surrogate agency, have had a psych screening, have lawyers, etc...
It's not that easy. That is why I was confused about your OP.
Yes, they occur if they are done the way I stated.
And the number I gave you was a rough estimate of how much it costs to have all this done (including the surrogate).
I believe I answered all your questions. But by all means, go to the web-site link I provided and get the info you are seeking. If you don't find it there, you won't find it anywhere...

You're welcome...

I see, also when I said that a gay man were to obtain an egg I meant that he would go to a research facility not that he'd pick out a woman for it.

Thanks for the link

 

[Shepherd 2]

Doesn't that make you bisexual then? If you were able to have sex with your wife or did you think about men while doing it with her?

This is fair of you to observe and ask. When I was married I thought I was a heterosexual. I was an abused adult male, abused by a cousin in my teen years. I did not think I was gay. No, I did not fantasize about having sex with a man when we made love.

I am not revolted by heterosexual sex. I never was. I was revolted by sexual abuse from a man when I was a teen. It took me years to come to terms with being gay. Sorry, I was pretty much clueless until I was 49 years old. Then things happened quickly for me, and I never thought I was bisexual, for I know now I have always been gay. In fact, I still have a lot of issues with a couple of gay sex acts because of my abuse.

As a result of my circumstances, I have a couple of things true about me that are not true for some others. I do not know how to comment about this except in this way. I am not bisexual. In fact I have a bit of difficulty understanding the bisexual mind set as I read about it on this site, and that is clearly not me, and it never was.
Shep+

 

[Great Big C]

We have nieces and nephews that serve as excellent birth control, but I figure that, hey, we get our dogs from rescue, if we ever want kids, we'll get them from rescue too.

 

[Diego_Ryan]

I do think that going to such lengths as to surrogate a mother, then a carrier, is such a selfish thing a gay man could do. Adopt one of the millions of children who don´t have nothing to eat.

Gay men who do that are selfish, selfish, just cuz they want to spread their genes

Selfish, selfish, I say

Here's Jy's reply which I agree with:

Oh fuck it all, why don't you tell the straight men and women that then!!!

After all, they can adopt the kids in lieu of making babies too, right? Sometimes, people do want to feel the child is really theirs, flash, semen, blood, whatever. The only logical way for a gay man to have a natural child is through surrogation. Otherwise, adoption is the perfect option.

Your rant is silly, silly I say

 

[Kurn]

Sometimes my insertions carry the whiff of controversy: This one will smell a little pro-eugenics: Oh, Well: I think lotsa gaymen have genes that dammy-well better be passed on, if yer askin' me!!!!! If you have the urge GO FOR IT. Carefully, but go for it.
Not TOO carefully because natural instincts will guide you!! Listen.

There's a lotta gay men who have very desirable qualities. Boo-yah!!

 

[Kurn]

And what exactly are those? Blue eyes, blond hair?? The arian race?? Superior intelligence??

I want people to look at themselves and be proud of what they do in life whether or not it is to beget children.

But I don't want people to hold back if they sense an opportunity.

 

[Joshua_me]

Hmm.

I dunno, I'm a homosexual male and for the longest time the thought of having children was just abhorrent to me...I couldn't even imagine it.

Then, somewhere in my early 30's, much to my surprise some sort of 'parenting gene' kicked in and I really wanted kids.

In a way, it's purely physical and very 'male'. I want 'my seed' (sorry, but that's the way it is) to be able to continue on and help to propagate the next generation.

It's one of the most primal feelings I've ever experienced.

Frankly, I think I would make a pretty damned good father, much better than the one I had, and it would be amazing to watch and participate in my kids growing up.

But, realistically, I have to take a step back and think about what would be fair for my children.

It's not fair for them to be brought into the world on the basis of "I just thought it would be cool." IMO, kids need a loving male figure and a loving female figure in their lives on a steady basis for at least the first dozen years or so....

And with that thought, I bowed out of the 'parenting phase'.

 

[beafous]

It's something I have started top think about recently. i am too young to be considering it for now but its just something that I think about in my future. I had always wanted to have kids. I would just love to. At first I sorta came to terms with not having kids because I was gay. I thought that it socially difficult and I believed that a child should have a mother. But recently I have started to come round to the idea of having a child. The mother thing was my bigest issue but I realised that there are many cases of a man raising children by himself maybe due to divorce or the wife passing away and it works out fine. I think that I could be a mother and father to a child. But there are concerns along the way, of course. Firstly, would I adopt? Many countries are still against gay adoption but many are becoming more lenient and certainly by the time I am adopting, it will be even better. Secondly, I could do the surrogate mother thing. I would love to have a biological child, but at the same time, if I was having the child with a partner, would it be unfair for me to be the biological father and him not to be?
so many questions. but I know in my heart that it will work out, because I would dearly love to have a child one day, adopted or not.

 

[translation]

I will one day be a father, of that I am sure. And honestly, it doesnt matter to me if it is biologically mine or not.