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hooked up with a straight friend...unsure what to think of it?

Join him in the shower since you are roommates and save let's save on the water bill
 
nhvtski2190 said:
Seriously? What are you reading??? Everyone here is telling you what an incredibly stupid thing this is, and that you should NOT be doing this. But for some reason, you're only reading what you want to see. Why even start this thread if you already made up your mind.
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dude i dont know im just confused
 
shadowfang156 said:
dude i dont know im just confused
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And this is probably enough reason not to continue the hook-ups. If the two of you can't be honest without drugs and alcohol, it's probably a sign that neither of you is ready to take on the complications that can happen when two confused guys hook up.
 
You have not told us if he knows that you are gay.
 
Don't bring it up. One night leave your bedroom door slightly ajar; lie down on the bed, face down in you best and tightest undies and pretend you're asleep after a night of drinking. If he's interested in you sexually he won't miss the opportunity when he passes by your room. I've done this several times and it worked each time.
 
what cues should i look for to know for sure he wants to hook up (very oblivious to this)? whenever i get drunk with him, i seriously feel like he wants to do something more, but just doesnt want to make a move?
 
I was prescribed Ambien in the past and I'm glad i'm off it. Ambien gave me the worst hallucinations... among other side effects (binge eating, significant increase in libido, etc). I ended up in the E.R. for heart palpitations when I woke up at 4AM with cold sweats and heart palpitations. Some Ambien users sleepwalk and drive their cars while asleep and wake up in their cars while driving! Point is, your friend needs to lay off the Ambien before something bad happens to him.
 
shadowfang156 said:
what cues should i look for to know for sure he wants to hook up (very oblivious to this)? whenever i get drunk with him, i seriously feel like he wants to do something more, but just doesnt want to make a move?
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watch bi porn together and give each other a hand job. or suck him off
 
i eventually did develop a crush on him, and i deff do want to hook up with him again, but im confused between emotions and logic. a few weeks go by, and we had another drunken ambien night. this time though, he did open up to me about the hook up. i think one of my mistakes was not giving him much of a chance to explain himself why he did what he did (making a move on me), and i just told him: "dont even worry about it, i've already put it in the past and more importantly, i dont think of you any differently. youre still one of my best friends and whatever happened that night, it didnt affect our friendship". after i told him that, he told me it took a load off his chest. during that time, i asked him if he was really bi, and he told me "yeah, sometimes,". even though we weren't sober, i can definitely tell he wasnt comfortable telling me and he kept his answer very brief.

i really dont think my friend is bi at all, i guess just bicurious at the time we hooked up. i did notice he'll initiate gay jokes around me, and i'll throw some comebacks to him, but i dont think this is significant since its normal for guy friends to do. but sometimes i wonder if this is his way of hinting, or am i just overthinking this? what are your guys' thoughts?

i couldnt really get feel for him being bi, but then again he's been having a rough past month (academics, work, and car accident), so he's been really preoccupied with getting his shit together. plus, he's also been hooking up with some chick he met at work for a couple months now, but he then later burned the bridge on that one just recently.

last night we had dinner together, just the two of us, and got really drunk at the restaurant. the reason why i really dont think he's bi/gay is because he brought up some of the baggage of his ex (they were childhood friends that became fwb, "kinda" dated, but their friends now. girl thinks that they should stay as friends from her pov, but when i asked about his pov, emotionally he'll fall for her, but logically no because it will jeopardize the friendship), what type of girl his family thinks he should date, what girl hes looking for, etc. but at the moment, he's not looking to be in a relationship right now. but even before this conversation, from time to time, he does tell me what kind of girl hes looking for and hopes he eventually finds "that girl".

when we went back to my car to drive home, there were two things in my mind: 1. make a move because i really wanted to kiss him OR 2. open up the question and ask him why he really kissed me that other time. even though i was really drunk, i did not have the courage to act on either or and face what happens next. i just feel like making a move on him or me bringing up what we both left behind and pretended that it didnt happen is like opening pandoras box.

what do you guys suggest that i do? if i do want to bring it up, how should i initiate the subject?
 
u should have penetrated him the first time.

that would make him want more.

just go ahead with the flow and .....
 
shadowfang156 said:
...what do you guys suggest that i do? if i do want to bring it up, how should i initiate the subject?
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Well, you should think about why you want to bring it up- is it because it's for the good for the friendship or because of your own agenda?

Look- you're a closeted bisexual and this guy is your roommate and friend... if he's not acting any differently toward you, then why would you want to go there?
 
shadowfang156 said:
i eventually did develop a crush on him, and i deff do want to hook up with him again, but im confused between emotions and logic. a few weeks go by, and we had another drunken ambien night. this time though, he did open up to me about the hook up. i think one of my mistakes was not giving him much of a chance to explain himself why he did what he did (making a move on me), and i just told him: "dont even worry about it, i've already put it in the past and more importantly, i dont think of you any differently. youre still one of my best friends and whatever happened that night, it didnt affect our friendship". after i told him that, he told me it took a load off his chest. during that time, i asked him if he was really bi, and he told me "yeah, sometimes,". even though we weren't sober, i can definitely tell he wasnt comfortable telling me and he kept his answer very brief.

i really dont think my friend is bi at all, i guess just bicurious at the time we hooked up. i did notice he'll initiate gay jokes around me, and i'll throw some comebacks to him, but i dont think this is significant since its normal for guy friends to do. but sometimes i wonder if this is his way of hinting, or am i just overthinking this? what are your guys' thoughts?

i couldnt really get feel for him being bi, but then again he's been having a rough past month (academics, work, and car accident), so he's been really preoccupied with getting his shit together. plus, he's also been hooking up with some chick he met at work for a couple months now, but he then later burned the bridge on that one just recently.

last night we had dinner together, just the two of us, and got really drunk at the restaurant. the reason why i really dont think he's bi/gay is because he brought up some of the baggage of his ex (they were childhood friends that became fwb, "kinda" dated, but their friends now. girl thinks that they should stay as friends from her pov, but when i asked about his pov, emotionally he'll fall for her, but logically no because it will jeopardize the friendship), what type of girl his family thinks he should date, what girl hes looking for, etc. but at the moment, he's not looking to be in a relationship right now. but even before this conversation, from time to time, he does tell me what kind of girl hes looking for and hopes he eventually finds "that girl".

when we went back to my car to drive home, there were two things in my mind: 1. make a move because i really wanted to kiss him OR 2. open up the question and ask him why he really kissed me that other time. even though i was really drunk, i did not have the courage to act on either or and face what happens next. i just feel like making a move on him or me bringing up what we both left behind and pretended that it didnt happen is like opening pandoras box.

what do you guys suggest that i do? if i do want to bring it up, how should i initiate the subject?
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He is still in the phase of denial. Don't ask him if he's bi or gay. He will come to the realization when it is time. He will keep talking about girls and shit. Let him. It's a defense mechanism.

If you have a crush on him, and obviously is not offended about hooking up with you, keep doing what you guys are enjoying with each other. You can get a little buzzed but I strongly encourage you to stop with the drugs. Make him comfortable with you and make him comfortable about getting relief from you because he will keep looking for it if he knows his secrets are safe with you. He won't be in a relationship mode with you until he reaches the acceptance phase that he is bi at least. This will take time but you can move it along if you two keep hooking up and he finds pleasure and comfort and safety in hooking up with you.

Maintain being friends with him. Ask him out to movies or dinner. Or enjoy common things with him. If he wants to hook up with a girl, let him, because he is still fighting with himself, be understanding and supportive, not demanding. This is a difficult stage in his life that he has to struggle with until he finds acceptance and peace with himself, and the best you can do is reassure him that whatever the outcome, you will be there for him regardless, and be his best friend.

Good luck.
 
ok so i was helping him type up his research paper on his computer and as i was pulling up articles, i found that hes looking at gay porn on his internet history???
 
shadowfang156 said:
ok so i was helping him type up his research paper on his computer and as i was pulling up articles, i found that hes looking at gay porn on his internet history???
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So?
 
we ended up hooking up again about a month ago (we were drunk). while we were hooking up, he told me he could tell that i liked him. i am starting to fall for him, but im not sure if he feels/sees me the same way i do. what cues should i look for to get an idea is he sees me as more of friend?
 
LOL!!! What's going on now?

Sounds very interesting.
 
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