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Hopelessly In Love with my Bi Best Friend

sixthson said:
Thankfully, you lived and learned from your experience. Some guys never do, they just keep repeating the cycle or they keep holding out hopes with the same guy forever. I hope the OP is not one of them.
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I feel like everyone's talking to me like I've been been a lovesick dog following some straight guy around for years….Peter and I are close friends who confide in one another and have grown close over the past 4 months, over which time he's become infatuated with me and I've developed true romantic feelings. It's not the healthiest or most conventional but I don't see this as being cyclical - it's circumstantial #-o
 
Pickwick said:
You are NOT the bad guy !!! And I told you the girlfriend is just one of the pretext he gives himself not to go any further with you. You have to take control, stop waiting because as far as I know there is always gonna be a pretext. So the question you need to ask yourself is "how long and how far I'm my gonna accept this situation for myself" that's it. Don't play the role he wants you to play because it makes it easier for himself to blame it on you. You're gay and you are attracted to him and obviously have a connection with him you don't have to feel sorry for it or thinking you're the bad guy or what ever. You don't have any problem, that you want to respect him is one thing but never take the blame. If you want to spend some time with him this week end just talk to him tell him how you feel, take the opportunity to be honest to him. But that's it the rest is not in your hands and take what ever happens.
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Aww thanks for the support man, I really appreciate it (and kinda need it). I posted about this on Reddit too and feel kind of beaten up sharing this story…. I definitely will be direct with him this summer and not let it go on this way. Hopefully that goes my way :/
 
Here's the deal, you are an asshole if you try to bag this guy who already has a committed relationship. HE is an asshole if he's a cheating bastard.

IF the the situation is what you describe, and you fuck over this girl, WHAT does that say about you?

WHAT does that say about him?
 
badmediakarma18 said:
Except my friend HAS admitted he likes guys and told me he thinks about making a move on me, ...
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These guys usually do keep that possibility out there to keep the other guy interested. And he gets to be "noble" by never acting upon it.
 
TX-Beau said:
Here's the deal, you are an asshole if you try to bag this guy who already has a committed relationship. HE is an asshole if he's a cheating bastard.

IF the the situation is what you describe, and you fuck over this girl, WHAT does that say about you?

WHAT does that say about him?
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Yeah, I won't argue there. And we've both decided that doing anything would be a bad idea, so I guess it's over now anyway
 
Update: So I spent a few more days with him and things got weird…we talked some more about gay sex and his past and insecurities. He told me he's scared of both not liking it or liking it too much (specifically bottoming) and I told him many gay men don't receive anal sex. He made comments about being submissive and people thinking he's my "girlfriend" which threw me a little. He told me he feels like I'm his best friend and I told him he's mine. We wrestled around and I got hard and he made a grab for it (he also spanked me a bit), but nothing happened. We also accidentally kind of held hands at one point and let it linger but nothing happened. In the end, we got really high and he told me he wants to have sex with me but that it would be a bad idea, because at this point we really are best friends. He said there would be no way to be both. I feel conflicted but I know he's right. Somehow I don't feel worse but I don't feel better.
 
hi Badmediakarma18, great you have started with this posting and good that you often post comments and/or updates. I am still struggling to get a good picture about the precise relationship of your best friend with his girlfriend. Would you mind to provide the readers of this thread with some insight in this topic? Any idea if he is still in love with his girlfriend?
 
You decide you're best friends so you can't be lovers, so you move on to a form of sex play by wrestling and grabbing. Okay.
He is still trying to be as gay as he can without actually being gay. Even if he marries his gf, his feelings are not going to go away.
Probably all he will do is ruin her life and in the process kill what he has for you. He's a mess and you are only going to get hurt by all the space you give him in your mind and heart. I'm actually not sure what kinds of friends you can be with all this sexual tension between you. You're miserable because you want him so badly and he keeps you at arms length with his form of foreplay. At some point you are going to have to stop jacking off thinking about him or take it to the next step by moving on with your life or burying your cock to the balls in his ass...you both know you want that. It's time to put your boner to good use and if it makes your relationship awkward afterwards it can't possibly be worse than it is now. Can it?

One other thing: the line about not being able to be best friends and lovers is bullshit. My husband and I can think of any number of guys here who feel the same way about their men.
 
Fast forward ten years. You both have moved on with your lives and are involved with other people. Will you regret not going for it when you had the chance? Friendships don't last forever. You seem to communicate well with him. Maybe you can tell him that you would like to consider experimenting, just one time, when you are both single and have no other attachments. Until then i think that you should continue to meet other guys that are available and live your life to the fullest.
 
sixthson said:
You decide you're best friends so you can't be lovers, so you move on to a form of sex play by wrestling and grabbing. Okay.
He is still trying to be as gay as he can without actually being gay. Even if he marries his gf, his feelings are not going to go away.
Probably all he will do is ruin her life and in the process kill what he has for you. He's a mess and you are only going to get hurt by all the space you give him in your mind and heart. I'm actually not sure what kinds of friends you can be with all this sexual tension between you. You're miserable because you want him so badly and he keeps you at arms length with his form of foreplay. At some point you are going to have to stop jacking off thinking about him or take it to the next step by moving on with your life or burying your cock to the balls in his ass...you both know you want that. It's time to put your boner to good use and if it makes your relationship awkward afterwards it can't possibly be worse than it is now. Can it?

One other thing: the line about not being able to be best friends and lovers is bullshit. My husband and I can think of any number of guys here who feel the same way about their men.
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Yeah you're right about the friendship being near impossible to separate from the sexual tension…i think you got it exactly right. He's trying to control our dynamic and I'm giving him full reign when I've had so many opportunities to make a move. He wrote a song about 'cheating on my girlfriend with a boy' and he seems frustrated about it…I'm kind of at the end of my rope. I'm going to have to do something and let the chips fall where they may

I agree with what you're saying about best friends who are lovers - but I think what he meant was if we become sexually intimate without growing into lovers/partners. If he isn't "ready" to be in a relationship with a man, where does that leave us? It'd make being platonic best friends a bit impossible
 
Blueboy369 said:
Fast forward ten years. You both have moved on with your lives and are involved with other people. Will you regret not going for it when you had the chance? Friendships don't last forever. You seem to communicate well with him. Maybe you can tell him that you would like to consider experimenting, just one time, when you are both single and have no other attachments. Until then i think that you should continue to meet other guys that are available and live your life to the fullest.
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Thank you for that, I agree with you - after he figures out what he's doing with the GF, I'm going to take that step. To be honest, I'm not sure what would make most sense sexually…he's (hypothetically) talked about fucking me and he's also expressed a secret curiosity of being penetrated, but I honestly don't know if diving into anal sex would be wise given our mutual fear of tarnishing our relationship as best friends.
 
Just have sex with him lol!! To me is a willingness to be intimate with you on his end!! He wants it and so do you!
 
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