^ Chaz, you slut! As you'll see in item #13, that's good thing.
It's been Thursday in Fakaofo and Tokelau for a few hours now, so here I go again.
Thirteen reasons for my interest in gay porn.
A few things first:
I read about gay sex, not view videos.
(If you'll send me links to something good, that could change. Not too many cum shots, please.) I like still photos, too (I know, you're shocked). For this post, I'm using "porn" to include erotica, sex writing, photos I like, etc.
For lack of a better label, I sometimes refer to myself as an ex-lesbian bisexual and I'm not specifically attracted to hot men, fucking or otherwise. Many of the items on my list have been described as characteristics of lesbians.
The other part of my "orientation" is kinky. Vanilla sex is rarely a turn-on unless it involves two or more men.
Please note that some of these things will seem like stereotypes.
I am NOT saying these are necessarily characteristics of gay porn or gay men. These ARE factors that appeal to me when they're there. When I can find it, good lesbian porn will work for the same reasons. Even some straight porn can take care of several items on my list, but rarely all.
I'm including the following quote from JustUsBoys because I like it, not because it makes a particular point for my list. You might have missed this (it took me a while to find it again).
JustUsBoys.com unapologetically embraces the beauty of the male body, the excitement of gay sex, and the sensual pleasure of gay porn.
We don't think porn is dirty, or something to be swept under the rug. Instead, we believe that porn is a legitimate, healthy, and enjoyable form of adult entertainment and can be an exciting part of anyone's sex life.
The references indicated in brackets in my list appear at the end.
1. Queerness.
With the exception of the sex acts themselves, this might be my main reason. As Tristan Taormino [1] said:
Some dykes can get their fix of queerness—both the lust and the cultural aesthetics—via gay porn, even though it features people of a different gender than those they fuck in real life. Queer is often attracted to queer first and foremost...
2. I'm not there.
For many reasons, I can't relate to most of the women, gay or straight, in porn. My responses are different enough from that of the characters that I'm distracted by the contrast. This is one of my most important reasons.
3. Gender/sex doesn't matter.
Like many women, it's more important for me that the material is sexual rather than that it contains a particular type of characters. (This ties into women being more fluid in their sexuality.) For heterosexual women, Taormino observes,
They like to look at hot naked men fucking, and it doesn't really matter that they're fucking each other.
It isn't one of my reasons, but it's a good quote. This is related to the next item.
4. Roles, not players.
With two or more men, I can focus on the kind of sex they are having or other aspects of the relationship without the distractions of gender issues.
5. Not straight.
It's a vacation from sexual politics and heterosexual oppression. Well, not entirely - there is certainly some sexism in gay porn, but they aren't doing it directly to women. I can live with that, although if I never saw/heard a man refer to a man's "cunt" I'd be happier.
6. Equality.
Either partner has the potential to be top or bottom and to have the same sexual satisfaction – although not necessarily in a particular story. In the stories I read, the roles are often chosen in advance, but they are not assigned by gender. I don't mean they are equal in every way, or that I would like it if they were, as explained by Taormino [1]:
I'm not sure this concept of equality is attractive to everyone (I personally like a hefty dose of power dynamics with my sex), but it supports the notion of seeing some kind of sameness, something non-heterosexual represented.
7. Inequality.
See #6 above, and: Holly Combe, writer for the F-word and member of Feminists Against Censorship (quoted in[2]):
Objectification only becomes bad if it is complete and absolute rather than mutable and interchangeable.
(emphasis mine)
8. Power.
Men tend to have it. It may be negotiated, exchanged, tested or contested.
9. Butt sex.
I'm interested for some of the same reasons you are – for example, the way it feels and the submissive aspects. Not that it's necessarily submissive to be fucked, but it has appeal for me (my main interest is BDSM, remember?). Okay, you point out, women do this. Yes, but it's not the first sex act that comes to mind when I read that a woman is making love or screwing. On this matter, it's the journey, not just the destination. When women do it (with a man or each other) there's usually a reason they're not screwing vaginally – even if it's simply to add variety. If the other reasons for my interest didn't apply, presence of anal sex wouldn't be an adequate reason for preferring gay porn.
10. Masculinity.
What Mike Alvear [3] said isn't exactly why it works for me, but I like his quote better than what I might say about this.
Third, a lot of lesbians are turned on by masculinity, so they get off on hot male bodies. Not because they want to have sex with them but because they internalize and then express the masculinity they see onscreen (Comic Lea Delaria has a hilarious line about that: “It’s not that lesbians don’t like dick; it’s that we don’t like them on men!”).
I feel like an entirely different person when wearing a strap-on, but I never think about being male.
11. Testosterone.
Raw, unapologetic sexual desire. While there's nothing wrong with love and affection, a good story doesn't need them. Acting on urges is not necessarily being a slut, it's just being.
12. Roughness.
Not that it's always there, but it's okay to be rough, and it's my preferred flavor of porn.
13. Fun.
Sex doesn't have to mean much more than something the characters like to do. Yes, straight people do this sometimes, but it's portrayed as less "normal" for them. For example, they make a fuss over how much of a slut the
woman is. I think Kyanimal described the "fun" aspect well. This is from a thread on "Unemotional Sex"
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=362095.
SEX generally has to have at least a bit of LUST in order to work well! I agree that SEX is 98%, or more, psychological. If the URGE/Appeal is not there, it's simply not going to Work!
I don't think the question should be if Emotions aren't involved, but whether fully engaged/enjoyable SEX can happen without the "intrusion" of LOVE.
And, yeah!, I KNOW that it can!
There is such a thing as SEX as Sport!
Attraction/Lust/Sheer URGE is definitely required, at least to some extent. However, is LOVE/Emotion necessary? Um ... No! Fun is FUN!!
I also believe that Care/Concern/Respect are required, too, though.
Keep smilin'!!
Chaz
While there aren't necessarily (or actually) fewer emotions in gay porn, there's a qualitative difference that appeals to me. I should probably write a 14th item about this...
References:
[1] Girls Love Gay Male Porn by Tristan Taormino
http://www.villagevoice.com/2008-05-13/columns/girls-love-gay-male-porn/
[2] Why do lesbians love gay man porn?
http://www.lesbilicious.co.uk/community/why-do-lesbians-love-gay-man-porn/
[3] Why do Lesbians watch Gay Porn?
http://www.mikealvear.com/2008/11/11/why-do-lesbians-watch-gay-porn/
The following from Mike Alvear in this article covers several of my points.
Most lesbians have a heightened awareness of how men have oppressed women and straight porn is often Exhibit A in that exploitation. In gay porn, the bottoms (traditionally like women, receivers) are often just as ‘powerful’ as tops (traditionally, like men, givers). So while it’s still male-on-male sex, there’s a power dynamic at work that appeals to lesbian political and personal sensibilities. They’re not so much looking at the “players” in the play, but the roles they’re playing.
Also worth reading:
What Straight Men Can Learn From Gay Porn
http://www.mikealvear.com/2009/05/04/what-straight-men-can-learn-from-gay-porn/
An Indie Hit's Sex Message
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2010/07/18/the-lesbians-who-love-male-gay-porn.html
Why do women like my cock-filled gay porn? By author James Lear
http://lustbites.blogspot.com/2007/05/why-do-women-like-my-cock-filled-gay.html
The Free Rose Studio | Handmade Goods
I don't remember discouraging graphic sex, as long as it meets the forum guidelines. (Lovely font, btw)
