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Houston we have a Problem

Fetaby,

" hmmm. just bullshittin' but it seems like you have given the idea some thought. why ponder an improbable future?"

Yes sir, I have tried to imagine what it would be like to have a real,honest relationship with a guy. It is an intriguing idea.

The issue isn't so much a fear of not being loved by family. I know that they would grudgingly accept it, and that I would still be loved. My mother has always one to be a friend to the down-trodden. She grew up in a tremendously racist time, and yet befriended a couple of black girls contrary to others wishes at the time. I mentioned that I had met a lesbian lady. She was actually a friend of my mothers, so I know they would accept it, but I also know that it would hurt them nonetheless. In the religion from which I come, family is the central theme. The belief is that the family unit may transcend death. To be gay would mean not being able to be with family in the hereafter. This would definitely cause hurt. If it were other people I wouldn't care, but this is family after all.

As to the dirty details, oh absolutely!

hotb0d,
Thanks for the compliment about being open minded. I don't know how cute I am, never thought of myself as cute. But joke away my friend.
 
Hey Fetaby,
I saw you posted over on that picture thread. You see those cute androgynous guys who have posted over there. That is why I dig the twinks. Fucking gorgeous.
 
Fetaby,

" hmmm. just bullshittin' but it seems like you have given the idea some thought. why ponder an improbable future?"

Yes sir,:eek:Sir?! Well, if that's what you wanna call me... :cool: I have tried to imagine what it would be like to have a real,honest relationship with a guy. It is an intriguing idea.Well, keep in mind I am biased, as I love mine... But as humans, we are social creatures...

The issue isn't so much a fear of not being loved by family. I know that they would grudgingly accept it, and that I would still be loved. My mother has always one to be a friend to the down-trodden.Pickin' you apart here... but did you know that this is a homophobic statement... By constructing this imagery of your mother this way, you inadvertently equate being gay as less... do you feel like you are less... She grew up in a tremendously racist time, and yet befriended a couple of black girls contrary to others wishes at the time. I mentioned that I had met a lesbian lady. She was actually a friend of my mothers, so I know they would accept it, but I also know that it would hurt them nonetheless. In the religion from which I come,notice you didn't write the religion in which I practice... coming and going is two different things... family is the central theme. The belief is that the family unit may transcend death. To be gay would mean not being able to be with family in the hereafter. This would definitely cause hurt. If it were other people I wouldn't care, but this is family after all.Many gay people can not reconcile the fact that the dogma of their particular religion is not kind to being gay, and that's putting it lightly as you know... I'm not about to tell you what to do here... but I will take exception at every point with an individual or even an institution that upholds a tenant that my being is somehow intrinsically evil... when in fact I am only after the same piece of mind, and happiness as themselves...

As to the dirty details, oh absolutely!Yay!!! The love of drama is a trait that knows no gender or sexual identity, agree?

hotb0d,
Thanks for the compliment about being open minded. I don't know how cute I am, never thought of myself as cute.Well, you're allowed to do that now.. best get to waxing... :badgrin: But joke away my friend.

It's quite a bit to chew all in one go... as you've stated earlier... no point in trying to deprogram the decades of heteronormatize behavioral conditioning in one night... I suggest going out and exploring these forums fully, there's all kinds of nooks, crannies, and crevices here that repeatedly smash the stereotypical skull duggery of what is is to be gay... Above all else, I would wish to dispel the myth that all gay people have forked tongues and hooves... only some of us are able to get away with that look... it's soooo specialized.... :twisted:
 
Achilleus,

Congrats on coming out to yourself and being so open here! You are beginning your gay self-discovery process and moving along nicely.

It takes time. That's OK.

I came out of denial at 43. So, for me, life began at 43! Some guys come out in their 70's after their wives pass away. It's never too late.

The clubs might not be the best place, as it's often twinks seeking twinks.

But if you've got any gray at all, there are a lot of twinky guys who like "daddies", and you'll reap 'em in in no time. :)

The gay world is very interesting. There are some parallels with the straight world, but some things are quite unique.

If you're hairy, you'll want to meet other "bears".

Good luck! I sent you a PM, too.
 
I'm very glad I could help. JUB is where I turned when was going through this process and people reached out. It meant a lot to me and I'm just returning the favor.

Your going through a discovery phase right now. Your allowing yourself to have feelings and thoughts that you were either suppressing or just not aware of. It's a great time in your life. Dont run away from it. Enjoy it and discover the new life that waits for you. Your finding that the majority of gay guys are just like everyone else. Not the stereotypical gay guys that you see in the movies or on television. We are like everyone else. Trying to make the best life we can for ourselves and our children.


I share your love of twinks. Their just so dam cute. Just be careful. Your opening yourself up to a new world and I dont want to see you get hurt. Like any group of people their are really nice guys and there are guys that are looking to take advantage of you. Keep your eyes open and your head clear.

I'm very happy and excited for you. Make some friends, go on a couple of dates and allow yourself to enjoy this new life. You don't have to come out to everyone right away. Cross those bridges when the time is right.

Steven.
 
To All:
When I started this thread I didn't know how much of a response I would get. I thought maybe a couple of posts. It's awesome how many of you have come on with advice. Some of you have sent PMs, if I haven't yet sent you back I will shortly.
Semper fi,
 
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