How bad does anal sex hurt?

[G-Lexington]

When done correctly, there's little or no pain involved. The key term, of course, is "when done correctly." If neither you nor your boyfriend has ever participated in anal sex, there's a better chance that there'll be some pain involved. However, you can take some steps to greatly improve the odds in your favor.

1. Lube is your best friend. Use it. A lot.
2. Put the bottom (you, I'm assuming) in charge. Have the top (him) lay on his back, and have the bottom (you) gradually lower himself down.
3. Warm up with lots of foreplay.
4. Take your time. Insertion may take a REALLY long time. That's normal.
5. Once it's in, give yourself some time to let your body adapt. Take time to make out for awhile before doing any thrusting.
6. Start out slow, and pick up speed once you feel up to it.

And, as lame as this sounds, enjoy it. This is supposed to be fun.

Lex

 

[pkacrotjs]

I second the above... i've never hurt when I've bottomed. Take your time, go slow, lots of foreplay, lube is your friend....

 

[rareboy]

It is absolute heaven. Once you've had your first orgasm by simply having your prostate massaged you'll become a bottom slut. Just tell your guy to be gentle and get lots of practice.

 

[sweet_taboo]

It always hurts just a little in the beginning. I actually enjoy and look forward to the sensation...

 

[woaini]

My experience is that for the first time after a long time, it would be no matter what hurt, but if you get fucked more often, like everyday, it would turn to be enjoyable!

 

[BrandonSBCA]

First time it felt great, its just that small burn when it enters you.

 

[Ninja108]

It'll hurt at first but afterwards it'll feel fantanstic

 

[runner]

It has never hurt me -- but then I have never bottomed. Take G-Lexington's advice though. My boyfriend and I have been doing that for years now and we love it more each time we do it. Good ing!

 

[Críostóir]

I, personally, consider it another form of torture. In my experience, it felt like someone stuck a lit fire cracker up there. My hats off to anyone who has a tolerance for it, but I certainly don't.

That was a bad, bad top. Did he know you were a first-time bottom?

 

[Críostóir]

When done correctly, there's little or no pain involved. The key term, of course, is "when done correctly." If neither you nor your boyfriend has ever participated in anal sex, there's a better chance that there'll be some pain involved. However, you can take some steps to greatly improve the odds in your favor.

1. Lube is your best friend. Use it. A lot.
2. Put the bottom (you, I'm assuming) in charge. Have the top (him) lay on his back, and have the bottom (you) gradually lower himself down.
3. Warm up with lots of foreplay.
4. Take your time. Insertion may take a REALLY long time. That's normal.
5. Once it's in, give yourself some time to let your body adapt. Take time to make out for awhile before doing any thrusting.
6. Start out slow, and pick up speed once you feel up to it.

And, as lame as this sounds, enjoy it. This is supposed to be fun.

Lex

I'd add that if it hurts too much, you should get off and take a break. You'll be much looser (and it will be much less painful) on the second try. Just don't give up!

 

[Bruce300]

It Hurts so good!...lots of thoughtful advice here by fellow JUBBERS. I definitely have to be in the mood and very relaxed, no such thing as a quickie there for me. Like most things in life, practice makes perfect, and make sure your partner will be sensitive to your needs, and by all means, PLAY SAFE!

 

[interesting]

I, personally, consider it another form of torture. In my experience, it felt like someone stuck a lit fire cracker up there. My hats off to anyone who has a tolerance for it, but I certainly don't.

Oh My God, *heavy sigh* guess I'm never going to do anal then.

 

[windgates]

^^^^

Read some of the other posts before you say never.

I agree with the above positive posts about bottoming, I personally love it. There have only been two times where I haven't found it pleasurable. One was when the guy was too small I feel and when he got it in, it felt like it was just barely in there and it was just.. uncomfortable, it never went past the small amount of pain into the really really good part.

I'd also like to point out, on your first time, you don't need to lower yourself on his dick. A lot of people prefer it that way, but I rather it be with someone that I trust to take it really slow and listen to me so he doesn't hurt me. That way, I can be on my back or stomach and not have to focus holding myself up and lowering so I can get used to it quicker.

 

[lifeisamazing]

the first time it happened to me....it hurt yea....the second time i did, it didn't hurt that much....but i found out that doggy style hurts less (but thats just me.)

 

[woaini]

the first time it happened to me....it hurt yea....the second time i did, it didn't hurt that much....but i found out that doggy style hurts less (but thats just me.)

Agree!~

 

[star-warrior]

If you're gonna sit on it, imagine having a big dump whilst its sliding in. Hopefully that'll relax the muscles. Some say doggy is easy and you have the option of pushing back. If your partner is patient, he'll let you decide on how far in it gets when you're being penetrated.

I would also suggest you try anal on him first, if he wants it that badly. Ask him how he feels as you're sliding in, and get some tips that way. Better than being first up I'd say...

 

[uofaguy7]

if u do it right it shouldnt hurt. u should probably get used to have things in there first though, like fingers and then on up to dildoes. lots of guys have liked fingering me and playing wiht a dildo can be fun for u and ur bf too

 

[cocktales]

Hey, some great advice already given....

I think too that if you are "made-love-to" and NOT just "fucked"; but by someone who cares about you and NOT just a "slam-bam-thank-you-mam"!

With sufficient preparation and mutual respect and affection there is absolutely no reason why first time anal intercourse should hurt.

It's not about power and control; it's about sharing pleasure. If he's hurting you he's doing something wrong and you are complicit in it.

My first time as a bottom did not really hurt, it was just very uncomfortable. I felt "full" down there, like I REALLY needed to go to the restroom. My partner just kept reminding me that it was ok, and that I really didn't need to "go".

After the first few minutes the feeling subsided and the pleasure set in, and OH was it pleasure. This "full feeling" happened only the first two or three times. There are times when it is slightly painful if I am particularly tight or if he hits a different angle than normal.

Apart from the reciprocal trust and respect and the need to take your time there's something else you can do to help ensure that your first sessions of anal penetration are enjoyable: put your bottom on top.

Have your partner lie on his back while you kneel astride him face-to-face. By kneeling up you can reach round behind yourself, take his stiff dick (sheathed and lubed- right on bro!) in your hand and soothe that hard knob over and round your crack. When YOU feel ready to take the plunge, engage the head of his dick in position and hold it there with your hand while you lower yourself onto his dickhead till you feel it pressing against your well-lubed asshole. At this point you should clench your ass-ring muscles tight. Hopefully you've been practicing your Kegel exercises so that you're familiar with the sensation of the muscle clenching and relaxing at will. Then relax your love-ring and simultaneously lower youself a little further. You should feel his knob start to slide in.

Don't rush it. Any sensation of pain or discomfort and you raise yourself up and away from his dick. Keep breathing deeply and easily. Don't be too ambitious; the goal of this first session should be to practice the technique of gripping his dick with your ass muscles, relaxing, and sliding a little further down: grip, relax and slide. Just to experience the sensation of your lover being deep inside you and sensing his desire held in check can be very horny.

When the head is fully engaged, take a rest. Lean forward so that you can kiss, locking his dick head with your ring gripping him tight just behind the flange. While you kiss, rock rhythmically and gently so that your ass tugs at his dick.

Be open to the possibility of new sensations and don't think you have to cum. This is your fuck, no-one elses, so let it unfold in a way that suits you. Pumping, bucking and thrusting can come later; there's plenty of time.

There are many advatanges to this postion. The novice has total control over the depth and angle of penetration. Both partners hands are free to explore, caress and excite the other. Lips are accesible for kissing, licking, nuzzling, whispering and you can see your lover's face and eyes. He can raise his knees so that you can lean back for support or have something to push against when you want to raise yourself.

The other thing to remember is basic common sense but sometimes guys forget. Eat regularly, plenty of fibre, plenty of water, get enough exercise. Have a crap before you make love; anal hygiene is important. An enema is probably excessive but you can get an enema kit at the drug store, they are very in-expensive.

Remember, take your time and hopefully your lover remembers NOT to force his cock into you and cause your first experience to be painful; for if he does, it may/will turn you off to anal sex...possibly forever!

Good luck and I hope this helps in addition to the other fine answers...

***SORRY about the length of the answer!!!

 

[Theyoungman]

Here, since you asking a question that can only be answered by personal experience:

I don't have anal sex anymore...


There you go.