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How Best To Tell A Man that I'm Interested in Him?

J

Jayfkme

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Hey guys - I need your advice on this one. I am very attracted to my doctor who is very handsome and friendly with me. He really sets off of my "gaydar". He is also married as I am. I am not sure what would be the best way to approach him in order to let him know that ... 1. I am gay. and 2. I am interested in him. If I can muster up the courage at my next appointment, I would like to at least make some type of attempt to let him know.

Would it be better to let him know I am gay first and see where this goes before I tell him that I am attracted to him? Or would it be best to flirt a little and tell him things like "you have the nicest eyes" or "you are such a handsome man" to signal to him my attraction? Curious is knowing what most of you would do. Thanks!
 
Re: How Best To Tell A Man that I'm Interested in

bw92116 said:
You: "How's your love life?"
Him: gives whatever his answer is, then "And how's yours?"
You: "I'm single. I'm gay. Single at the moment."
Him: "Cool. Let's fuck."
You: "OK when?"
Him: Tomorrow. Right here. 3 p.m."

To state the truth in bold, direct, concise terms is manly and a turn-on.
To hint indirectly and flirt with phrases such as "you have the nicest eyes" is kind of womanly and not much of a turn-on.
Click to expand...
LMAO.... Ready.set.go
 
Re: How Best To Tell A Man that I'm Interested in

Put yourself in your wife's/husband's/whoever you plan to cheat on's shoes.

Doesn't feel good, does it?
 
Re: How Best To Tell A Man that I'm Interested in

>>>Being gay and in the closet isn't a get-out-of-accountability-free card.

Really? When'd this start?

Lex
 
Re: How Best To Tell A Man that I'm Interested in

Wow....Have I posted on JUB or MORMONS.com? I will admit that I am not a sin-free individual and perhaps my crush on my doctor is just that - a crush. But on the other hand, most of us also have redeeming qualities and I know that I do have some of those qualities as well. But alas, there goes my chance at sainthood!
 
Re: How Best To Tell A Man that I'm Interested in

Jasun - don't be so angry. First of all - I am already out to my wife and she knows that I have sexual partners. I am not pretending to be better than anyone. You don't know my situation anymore than I know what happened in your life to make you such an angry man. Thank you for being more understanding bw92116. My situation with my doctor is that he gives gives me cues that he is interested in the way he looks at me, his general overall behavior with me etc... I may be naive but I am just unsure about all of it. I have grown to like him very much to the point where I get butterflies in my stomach each time i see him. I want to be able to tell him that I am gay or that I am interested in him so that he will either tell me he is also interested or he will tell me he is not interested and never meant to show interest in me. In that case I will be satisfied and the whole issue will be resolved. Maybe I just want to be friends with him too - i don't know - but it is causing me alot of anxiety and stress just not knowing.
 
Re: How Best To Tell A Man that I'm Interested in

thanks for all the suggestions bw! I like your style and sense of humor.
 
Re: How Best To Tell A Man that I'm Interested in

Does he know your marital status? Just curious because regardless of whether your wife knows or not, some guys don't go for hooking up with married men. That could be a serious dealbreaker. It would be for me at least.

ETA: Never mind. I see he is married as well, so if it turns out he is willing to hook up with you, marital status means absolutely nothing to him.
 
Re: How Best To Tell A Man that I'm Interested in

Jayfkme said:
Hey guys - I need your advice on this one. I am very attracted to my doctor who is very handsome and friendly with me. He is also married as I am.

Would it be better to let him know I am gay first and see where this goes before I tell him that I am attracted to him? Or would it be best to flirt a little and tell him things like "you have the nicest eyes" or "you are such a handsome man" to signal to him my attraction? Curious is knowing what most of you would do. Thanks!
Click to expand...

One of the great things about healthcare is that you get to see lots of people naked and then they go away and you have to see them again until the next appointment.

I'm sure your doctor feels the same.
 
Re: How Best To Tell A Man that I'm Interested in

It might take a bit of self control.
I'd probably go the Jasun way - with no moral judgments on anyone at all.
Messing outside marriage isnt a good idea - even if youre partner approves
 
Re: How Best To Tell A Man that I'm Interested in

Please do not try to seduce your doctor. Its highly unethical and inappropriate to socialize with a patient let alone have sex with one.

If he engaged in sex with you it would be considered exploitation and he could possibly lose his license. If he is a good doctor, he will reject your advances and immediately refer to you to a different one (probably female). He will also inform his colleagues about your attempted seduction so they can be witnesses in case you claim that he made any inappropriate sexual overtures while you were in his care.

Gay or not a responsible doctor will not embark on a relationship with a patient outside the office. Take a moment and consider the potential consequences for your Doctor, his family, and you.

This is not an OK situation. You might be going through emotional transference even if you only desire him sexually. Its a common issue and not your fault. But you should consider changing doctors if these feelings persist because its not healthy.
 
Re: How Best To Tell A Man that I'm Interested in

Thanks everybody for the responses. Your advice is also not in vain Jasun - I agree with you that an affair would not be very wise on my part. The post by pnfan was also an eye opener for me. For such a young man you give very good advice. I know my problem may be a common one for both gays and heteros as but I think I will lay low and heed to your advice. I think perhaps a different physician would be a good thing for me.
 
Re: How Best To Tell A Man that I'm Interested in

Jayfkme said:
Thanks everybody for the responses. Your advice is also not in vain Jasun - I agree with you that an affair would not be very wise on my part. The post by pnfan was also an eye opener for me. For such a young man you give very good advice. I know my problem may be a common one for both gays and heteros as but I think I will lay low and heed to your advice. I think perhaps a different physician would be a good thing for me.
Click to expand...

You are welcome. I'm glad I was able to help. (*8*)
 
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