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How can I come out to my straight JO buddy?

gen3ric

gen3ric

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Hello jubbers, I've posted on the forum here and there for awhile, but this is the first time I'm starting a thread to tell you about (surprise!) my complex situation with my clueless straight friend.

I met this guy before I even got to college, via Facebook, and he was my first campus friend. He's in my major, we have a lot in common and we really got to become good friends. PS - I think he's pretty cute, but know he's completely and utterly straight it can't go anywhere further than just friends.

So one day Freshmen year, he introduces me to this 'penis enlargement exercise' website, which I have no interest in, but play along. So we're in my room and he whips it out and says how much he's gained in size. He starts looking up porn, so I whip it out and we each JO.

So for the past two years, about once a week at school, I would either go to his room or he would come to mine and we would do a 1-2 hour JO session. At the end of last semester I broke it off, because I realize this can't go on especially if I ever expect to come out.

So he's completely clueless that I am gay, even though at least three of my close friends pretty much know without me saying a word. He's actually IM'ing me links to pictures of 'hot chicks' right now, haha. I want to come out this semester. I feel like I am ready since I have a boyfriend, and am sick of lying or pretending that I like girls (when I'm really looking at their boyfriends!). Oh, and having my friends try to hook me up with girls. That's really annoying. haha

I guess what I'm asking is after having a pseudo-sexual relationship with my friend/roommate as of this Saturday, I'm worried he'll want to keep on doing the JO thing since we're in the same room, but I don't want to be awkward for him when I come out. In my mind, he's pretty much the only person keeping me from coming out -- I'm afraid I'll lose him as a friend and it will be awkward for the rest of the year at college since he is my roommate. Is there any way I can make it less awkward for him, or wave a magic wand and make him accept me regardless? (wouldn't that be nice...)

Umm... hopefully this all makes sense. Sorry I wrote so much!
 
he's jacked off with you in the room....he's obviously pretty comfortable with you and penises in general. I wouldn't worry about it too much =)
 
I'd be like, Yo dude, bust that nut right here (pointing to mouth). Just kidding.

Actually, I question his sexuality. Unless I'm totally fucking clueless, straight boys do not jerk off with other straight boys.
 
Ryuukie said:
Actually, I question his sexuality. Unless I'm totally fucking clueless, straight boys do not jerk off with other straight boys.
Click to expand...

I questioned his sexuality for a while, but I know of a forum that he posts on where he just brags about how great the sex with his girlfriend is, and goes into pretty deep detail. He also sketches and does paintings of girls that he sees around campus. Also, he didn't want any touching while we JO'ed. I made an advance once to see if he'd go with it but he rejected.

PS - this is the second straight guy I've JO'ed with. I must be a beacon for them or something.... hahaa.
 
Just... tell them.

I've never had a bad reaction, and I've had some very complex situations with heteros, one including jerking with another guy, but only at his hunting camp. I told him and he was like "So what? Are you going to the caf to eat tonight?"
 
I think you should tell him. I also don't believe he is totally straight. If he gets as many girls as he claims, why does he need to JO with you? Just a thought. Also, I find that the ones who brag the most about how much sex they get, actually get very little. If he's getting it regular, he doesn't need to brag about it. What's the point and who really cares anyway.
 
Ryuukie said:
I'd be like, Yo dude, bust that nut right here (pointing to mouth). Just kidding.

Actually, I question his sexuality. Unless I'm totally fucking clueless, straight boys do not jerk off with other straight boys.
Click to expand...

You should have added "for over 2 years" on the end of the last sentence.
 
volcom1206 said:
Lex is right. Just simple.


And do not let 1 person stop you from being who you are. He more than likely will not have a problem with it anyway. JUST DO IT!
Click to expand...

Thanks for all the support guys. I guess it's plausible he could be bi, but I highly doubt it. I hate to be one of those guys that says "Well he does this, this and this so that must mean he's gay and LOVES ME!". I've been on JUB for a short time but every other thread is one of 'those'.

This thread has been really inspirational to me, and I'll have to update it when I come out on campus. :D
 
If it helps you feel better about your totally awkward situation, I just attended my high school/university jerk off/suck off buddy's wedding. Kinda sad actually. I guess it was fun while it lasted :)
 
gen3ric said:
He also sketches and does paintings of girls that he sees around campus.
Click to expand...
Ha ha, he's probably gay.

He might be in denial, though. They hate the 'g'-word ('gay'). So it's fine if you tell him you're gay, but don't expect to get it out of him. Not right away, anyway.
 
tdot3304 said:
If it helps you feel better about your totally awkward situation, I just attended my high school/university jerk off/suck off buddy's wedding. Kinda sad actually. I guess it was fun while it lasted :)
Click to expand...

Glad to hear someone else has gone through a similar experience - I guess I'm already not looking forward to his wedding, it kinda puts the nails in the maybe-he's-gay coffin. hahahaa.

Lube said:
Ha ha, he's probably gay.

He might be in denial, though. They hate the 'g'-word ('gay'). So it's fine if you tell him you're gay, but don't expect to get it out of him. Not right away, anyway.
Click to expand...

Well, he definitely doesn't hate using the 'g'-word in conversation. Every other thing he refers to is 'sooooo gay'. I think I might have to come out just to get him to stop it.
 
gen3ric said:
Well, he definitely doesn't hate using the 'g'-word in conversation. Every other thing he refers to is 'sooooo gay'. I think I might have to come out just to get him to stop it.
Click to expand...
Oh, but that's not the same 'gay' as 'homosexual' gay. (!) :D

Sounds like you're lightening up a bit. Give it a shot and see what happens!
 
You have to be open and honest with yourself. If you feel the need to come out on campus, you must. You can't let how your friend will react keep you from being happy. Remember, it's his issue to deal with, not yours.

I have a feeling he'll be okay with it. He sounds like a very comfortable and open guy. What a hot situation you had.
 
Next time he says something is 'sooooooooooo gay', just say 'So am I'.
 
Your friend may not be a closeted gay; he may just be a closeted virgin. At any rate, he's not an open, fully honest person, bragging about his hetero sex life. As his roommate, you should have some idea how much truth there is in that. If you are really friends, tell him about yourself and he will (eventually) tell you the truth about himself. I think he knows what the inside of a closet looks like and he will empathize with you, whether he is gay or not. It will be good for both of you.
 
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