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How can i tell if someone is a robot?

U

USEDCAR

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I have a co worker and shes quite weird and just acts very robotic i never seen her go to the Bathroom! or get upset! if you tell her bad news she just's goes "All no" and when i approached her about it she just laughs and i did the robot language and she laughs.



I need help!
 
Try a few of these:

Are those real or were you upgraded in silicone valley?

Hey baby, what's your OS?

My docking station or yours?

Yes, I know you’re metric- but I’m willing to convert.

Is it hot in here, or did your internal fan system just crash?

Nice bolts. Wanna screw?

Is that a mirror in your anodized Titanium exterior plating? Because I can see myself in your service port.

Is 2GB really your maximum RAM capacity? I heard otherwise.

Your lips say 0 but your eyes say 1.

I've got a case of WD-40 in the back, wanna get drunk?

Wanna touch my mouse?

Do you like it when I touch your PCI Slot?

When you flash your software, my floppy becomes a hard drive.

Beep beep boop beep beep beep boop sex.

You make my interface GUI.
 
In her defense, she might be hoping to fool her bosses into thinking they already have an AI unit doing her job when robots replace us all in the workforce.
 
USEDCAR said:
I have a co worker and shes quite weird and just acts very robotic i never seen her go to the Bathroom! or get upset! if you tell her bad news she just's goes "All no" and when i approached her about it she just laughs and i did the robot language and she laughs.



I need help!
Click to expand...
Expose your erect organ to her. A robot will burst into flame. A human will call the police.
 
Her programming might be excellent enough to duplicate every last typical human behavior, and yet she might lack the subjective experience which would make her consciousness genuine.

If you solve this^ problem, I know quite a few people who would be mighty interested in the answer.
 
A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Laws.
In later books, a zeroth law was introduced: 0. A robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.

Borg aren't held to these laws. Neither is the Terminator(s).
 
Thanks for the replies everyone i work with her Friday so i can't wait to see how she acts especially with the snow! My co workers all laughed at me when i brought this up. I hope this hot guy doesn't distract me from the robot.

What if i offer her gum or candy and see if she takes it? Are robots programmed to eat?
 
Present her with a logical paradox. She will have to use all of her processing power to solve it, and being unsolvable, she will just freeze.
 
Tell this co-worker about the boners you get while thinking about robots, please wear tin-foil on your head when doing this. Maybe twerk a little bit. Let us know how it goes.
 
gsdx said:
Try a few of these:

Are those real or were you upgraded in silicone valley?

Hey baby, what's your OS?

My docking station or yours?

Yes, I know you’re metric- but I’m willing to convert.

Is it hot in here, or did your internal fan system just crash?

Nice bolts. Wanna screw?

Is that a mirror in your anodized Titanium exterior plating? Because I can see myself in your service port.

Is 2GB really your maximum RAM capacity? I heard otherwise.

Your lips say 0 but your eyes say 1.

I've got a case of WD-40 in the back, wanna get drunk?

Wanna touch my mouse?

Do you like it when I touch your PCI Slot?

When you flash your software, my floppy becomes a hard drive.

Beep beep boop beep beep beep boop sex.

You make my interface GUI.
Click to expand...

Priceless.
 
Maybe she's a Fembot. Do you have a bionic ear?

180
 
USEDCAR said:
I have a co worker and shes quite weird and just acts very robotic i never seen her go to the Bathroom! or get upset! if you tell her bad news she just's goes "All no" and when i approached her about it she just laughs and i did the robot language and she laughs.



I need help!
Click to expand...

Hm, since your username sounds a bit like Detroit, is this your workplace?

 
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