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how can i

Lots and lots of lube.

And patience. When getting fucked breathe, relax and try to push out (like if you were taking a shit). And use your sex toys
 
Perhaps your local tailor shop can do an alteration, let it out a bit.
 
poppers is supposedly a good way to help you relax and loosen ur hole
 
Try one, two, then three fingers up your hole. Massage gently with each added finger.

I then moved on to something a little thicker, like one of those long candlesticks.

The first guy that fucked me really hurt when he put his head in the first time. I was worried that it might not happen. However, he pulled out, we waited a few seconds, and when he put it back in, he slid all the way in, and I didn't feel any pain at all. In fact, I was amazed that he was all the way in.

Don't get discouraged if the first penetration really hurts. Have him pull out and wait a few seconds for the pain to go away. Then try again. Also, be open to trying different positions.
 
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