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How close do relatives...

Eeyore

Eeyore

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... need to be to be considered off limits?


I'm just wondering what the general ideas are on this sort of thing. I know some people think it's gross and completely wrong to be with any relative, but I personally feel it gets a little iffy you get to people who are your second/third cousins, or even in-laws who are a fair bit removed from your immediate family.

Now, I'm not going to lie, the main reason I'm asking is I have a bit of a crush on my cousin's husband's brother, and was wondering how weird people would see that. (I doubt anything would ever happen, but the possibility is there, so I can be hopeful)
 
There is even no connection by blood to your cousin's husband brother :)
I don't see anything wrong here, and not even something where society frowns upon .. at least for straight people ;)
 
No worries, I can't see any problem at all. It's not as if he is going to have your inbred children or anything. I think sometimes people just say "no way" because they think it is expected of them. No real thought goes into what they are saying. It's a kind of inbred paranoid Phobia induced by religious or national leadership.
 
If there's no blood then you're good as gold.

Otherwise a general rule...if you consider them family, they are off limits.
 
Depends on how close a relative and what you want to do with them.

cousin's husband's brother = fair game
 
If you were a woman, no one would have a problem with this. Unrelated people who meet through their own relatives date/hook-up/marry all the time.

So it certainly shouldn't be a problem for you.

However, the important question is: "Is he gay?" Or are you just lusting after a straight guy.
 
josher said:
If you were a woman, no one would have a problem with this. Unrelated people who meet through their own relatives date/hook-up/marry all the time.

So it certainly shouldn't be a problem for you.

However, the important question is: "Is he gay?" Or are you just lusting after a straight guy.
Click to expand...

Yeah, he's definitely gay, so it's certainly a possibility. The only real problem here is that I don't really hang out with my cousin that much (she's 10 years older than me) so the only real time we see each other is at our grandmother's, and she's really conservative so I can't just come out and say I'd like to date the guy...

I just need to figure out a way to spend more time with her/her husband, and of course this guy I'm talking about, without it seeming too strange and out of the blue.


As a side note, what brought this on was that he was at dinner on Christmas Eve, and my hands were literally shaking throughout dinner I was so nervous. I didn't think I liked the guy that much, but the more I think about it the more I do.
 
Sex with relatives is icky only because:

1. Having babies with blood relatives often causes birth defects. Obviously this is not a problem for gay people.

2. You don't want to have sex with someone you are legally or emotionally responsible for (child, grandchild, niece/nephew). This is actually irrespective of blood relationship.

You're good to go.

Wow you were shaking through dinner? Must be hunky! Congrats. :-)

Do you have anything in common with him? No one would suspect if you became friends with him. Then you could work things out on your own two schedules.
 
I have yet to understand how sex between consenting related males could possibly dilute the gene pool. I am not advocating sex between relatives of the same sex. I just don't understand why folks apply the same standards as they do for relatives of the opposite sex.
 
If there's no legal issues with it (and there isn't), your only problem would be "what would the family say?" And frankly, it doesn't matter what the family would say. :)

Lex
 
My male cousin married a woman who had a similar tie as you are speaking of. There is no blood relation between them nor you with your potential partner. Don't worry and go ahead with your attraction.
 
trawler69 said:
No worries, I can't see any problem at all. It's not as if he is going to have your inbred children or anything. I think sometimes people just say "no way" because they think it is expected of them. No real thought goes into what they are saying. It's a kind of inbred paranoid Phobia induced by religious or national leadership.
Click to expand...


This phobia was induced by people who have read about the Hapsburgs


Oh BTW, you are not related to him in any way, so anything that may happen, it's all good! ..|
 
Can't you contact this guy without going through the cuz? I would suggest looking him up or finding out how to get a hold of him at work or something. You can be discreet, tell him would like to talk with him when he gets off or if he could meet you for a drink.

Worst case scenario would be to just ask your cousin's husband for his phone number. If he asks why, say you just want to chat with him about something or make up some reason you want to talk with him.

This is an easy one.
 
superboy83 said:
Okay, first place to look is Myspace or Facebook. If you know his full name, you're golden. If he's not on there, then it's time to suck it up and ask your cousin to help you out. Tell her you think her husband's brother is cute. Usually chicks love helping their gay friends/relatives. I'm really rooting for you. You need to keep us updated ok?
Click to expand...

I plan to update you guys if anything happens, but as I've said the distance with pretty much everyone involves makes it a delicate situation. I don't want to come on too strong and freak anyone out here. Especially considering the family connection, if something goes wrong I'm still going to have to see him on occasion, and the last thing I'd want is some horribly awkward situation from it.

I know his Myspace page, so maybe I'll give that one a try. Thanks for the advice and support everyone!;)
 
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