Like I saw a funny article about "first world gay problems" and one of those problems was if you and your boyfriend or husband are both tops or both bottoms. The way the article worded it is that being a top or a bottom is fixed thing, like you can't change it....I'm sorry, but that is such bullshit. Top and bottom is not and shouldn't be treated like a sexual orientation. It's just your personal preference. Do you like dick? Or do you prefer ass?
I think you've hit the nail on the head with the sexual orientation thing, except I'd say it
is a sexual orientation. I'm versatile. Except I'm so versatile that before I met other gay people or really knew anything about the gay community, I didn't think such a word existed because I assumed every gay man everywhere would also be versatile. It just seemed obvious to me, guys can fuck each other and be fucked, and in my own mind that was one of the great things about gayness that was different from straightness.
Now, I've met enough gay people to know that there truly are some tops, and some bottoms. We might have looked at the same pix on the net growing up, but while I was watching both and fantasizing about both, and flip-fucking both, they were relating to only one of the guys and desiring the other.
And
what they do matters at least as much as the gender of the person they're doing it with. It really is like we have different sexual orientations.
There are also some guys who are happy to be with tops or bottoms and just go with the flow, but they don't really care one way or the other. There kind of like "whateveratile."
And then there are those of us who really are versatile, and even if someone has a bit of a preference, we'd still need both to feel like our sex lives were complete. So I've come out as gay, but also as vers, and I didn't even know I'd have to do that.
Last thing I'd say is from the people who are top or bottom, it divides into two groups: those who say I just prefer it physically, it turns me on more and feels better, and those who say I totally get off on the passive/active thing, or the masculine/less-masculine thing. That doesn't compute for me, sexually. I just don't see sex like that, but if a top finds a bottom and they're happy, then I can treat that with the same respect I'd give someone of any other sexual orientation. I don't try to figure out why a guy likes pussy, and I don't try to figure out why a guy likes only topping or only bottoming.
