How come so few post where they live?

[Audio Tech]

Ok, when I joined JUB, I posted my details including the City I live in. It's not like I put my ADDRESS in my profile. I made the choice to join, and reach out to others.

Why are so many people afraid to post their City location? Come on, we chat on the board about our problems, fears, and desires. And yet, we seem to go out of our way to avoid real life connections.

It would be nice to pm someone you knew lived near you and say Hi, want to be my friend?

What is everyone so afraid of?

I'll start by saying that I posted my City BECAUSE I would like to make new friends.
Just that. Not expecting anything. Is that BAD?

 

[unloadonme]

Is that BAD?

No, of course it's not.

I posted my city because I couldn't think of any reason not to. There are at least a dozen other Jubbers in the county, but the only ones I seem to get along with are miles, usually continents, away.

 

[Beachguyj]

Ok, when I joined JUB, I posted my details including the City I live in. It's not like I put my ADDRESS in my profile. I made the choice to join, and reach out to others.

Why are so many people afraid to post their City location? Come on, we chat on the board about our problems, fears, and desires. And yet, we seem to go out of our way to avoid real life connections.

It would be nice to pm someone you knew lived near you and say Hi, want to be my friend?

What is everyone so afraid of?

I'll start by saying that I posted my City BECAUSE I would like to make new friends.
Just that. Not expecting anything. Is that BAD?

Because 10 million people live in Los Angeles.

People should at least post the State they live in. I have my area code posted.

 

[cityboy-stl]

I would assume a good number of folks wish to remain anonymous on this gay porn message board and feel even revealing what city they live in could identify them. However after you've been around for a while you learn that the message board is far more just porn and there are a lot of really good people here. Just like in real life the trolls, the fakers, the game players and crazies eventually are identified. I suspect that people who are not one of those are more likely to post their city. I'm not saying those that remain anonymous are dishonest. I understand there are good reasons.

Join the JUB Christmas card list next season. I was at first a little apprehensive of this because it meant giving out not only your city but your real name and address to people on here that you've never even met (a few I have). I eventually decided to take the chance and that those on the list had to trust me not to abuse the information as well. So I sent and received cards and wishes from all over the world and it was a very rewarding experience. The Christmas list is of course private and only e-mailed to the participants.

 

[swerve]

I guess I never noticed that people DIDN'T post their city...

But I think that its cool that you're looking to meet new people there in the LA area!!!

Next time I'm there -- I'll send you a PM!!!

My location USED to say ALLOVER -- because, really, I am...

Now I'm using what Atlanta USED to be called way back when -- just for fun...

 

[Lukeee]

I have posted where I live (city) but to be honest I'm not interested in meeting up with people I chat with online. If I want to make real world friends I'll go outside. I like having people to talk to on forums only. It is like having a friend that expects nothing in return. You only have to be there when you want to be and talk about what you want.

 

[Alistair]

I guess I have OCD, I can't stand the cluttered look under the avatar

 

[cornholio]

To be honest, I like coming here to read mainly. It's interesting what "the gays" of the world, that are joined in this forum together, are presently up to.

I admire the the diversity of people on here, who, by just being who they are, or directly giving me advice, have helped me a lot to come to terms with my sexuality and to come out to all my family and friends. I mainly read the coming out storys, and sometimes I feel like I can actually contribute by answering - although members like KarlaBrut (sp?), Lex or fetaby (to name a few) pretty much seem to know what needs to be said anyways.

Apart from that this board means entertainment to me, that I can switch on and off by logging in and off.

I'm not scared (anymore!) of the possible consequences of not keeping personal info to myself. I'm just not here to make actual friends. And I guess for many people on here that's the case aswell.

But for what it's worth, I live in Madrid, Spain until end of February and then move back to Köln (Cologne), Germany, where I've lived since 2004.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>Why are so many people afraid to post their City location?

Why are so many people so quick to claim that if a piece of information is missing from the profile, that the people who do so are afraid?

When I first joined, two bits of information weren't displayed to the left there - age and location. That's since changed, but I guess since I set up my profile before that, it still doesn't show it. I list my age and location in my profile, if people want to know.

Or fine - let's just say I'm afraid. I'm afraid you'll find out I'm 40 and live in Colorado. Because then nobody will like me anymore.

Lex

 

[ChickenGuy]

I don't mind posting which country I come from, or even which region, but I wouldn't be more exact about it, at least not on these forums.

I would be too fearful of someone else in my small location realising there was another one on here. Then, a quick check of the info I've occasionally posted on here about relatives would almost certainly identify me.

Believe me, it's not like a city where I live - it's a very small, isolated community. Everyone knows everyone else's name and business. The old women talk about nothing else. Gossip goes round like wildfire.

And even if I come out, I wouldn't be comfortable, because I've been more personal about myself on JUB than I've been to anyone in real life.

I suppose it's a bit odd that an online forum of anonymous avatars have become my confidants. But there it is.

 

[Audio Tech]

Lex, I always love your posts. You are a wise man, but I just had to ask. I'm on other mostly audio related forums. The overwhelming majority of us Audio Geeks post locations. It just doesn't seem like a big deal. I just noticed that here it's the opposite.

And I still like you.

 

[Audio Tech]

I don't mind posting which country I come from, or even which region, but I wouldn't be more exact about it, at least not on these forums.

I would be too fearful of someone else in my small location realising there was another one on here. Then, a quick check of the info I've occasionally posted on here about relatives would almost certainly identify me.

Believe me, it's not like a city where I live - it's a very select community. Everyone knows everyone else's name and business. The old women talk about nothing else. Gossip goes round like wildfire.

And even if I come out, I wouldn't be comfortable, because I've been more personal about myself on JUB than I've been to anyone in real life.

I suppose it's a bit odd that an online forum of anonymous avatars have become my confidants. But there it is.

I can see that. In your case it makes sense.

My point I guess is that once you decide to BE out, what's the big deal. But a few months ago I would have NEVER thought of doing this myself.

 

[morgaes]

I put my location because I figured finding another gay man on here from Iceland would be quite interesting, haha. I remember there was one some time back, but I don't think he stuck around...

 

[unloadonme]

I put Sydney under mine cause people have heard it. When I joined JUB I lived in a place called Woy Woy. Who's heard of that place? It's easier to leave it as Sydney, especially as I'm moving back there this year.

I've heard of Woy Woy as it happens. Didn't it have a connection with Spike Milligan?

 

[maxpowr9]

I am the same way. I have no shame in putting the fact that I live in "Boston" in my profile. I actually don't live in Boston but rather Brookline, MA. Most people don't know where Brookline is, so I put Boston which is right next-door.

However, I am pretty pessimistic about posting photos online. Between photo hijackings and fake people, I can't be bothered with that non-sense. That is the same reason I closed down my facebook account. If I do trust someone, I will send them my photos and what not. Also, I don't think I'm very photogenic.

As for the whole "meeting people" thing, I am always open to talking to new people. However, it seems more and more people would rather hide behind technology and avoid real interaction. To some extent, I don't blame them (a lot of crazyies out there) but at the same token, you need to give some people the benefit of the doubt or you are gonna be alone for a long while.

 

[Audio Tech]

However, I am pretty pessimistic about posting photos online. Between photo hijackings and fake people, I can't be bothered with that non-sense. That is the same reason I closed down my facebook account. If I do trust someone, I will send them my photos and what not. Also, I don't think I'm very photogenic.

I'm not into photos either. In private, maybe. But that wasn't the point. The point was "General Location". Does not have to be the town or city. I do find it interesting to see the mix of people from all over the world that post here.

 

[maxpowr9]

I'm not into photos either. In private, maybe. But that wasn't the point. The point was "General Location". Does not have to be the town or city. I do find it interesting to see the mix of people from all over the world that post here.

You will be surprised how small this world is when people know you from your photo. Like with your location, it plays into anonymity that people like online.

 

[blackbeltninja]

I've played mine a little more cryptic than previously, for shits and giggles. It used to say Cape Town, but I prefer the description I have in there at present.

But I do get a bit annoyed when others don't have anything there. I like to have a vague idea of who comes from where when I read posts, or replies in my threads, just to get a sense of the person I'm conversing with.

-d-

 

[Lefty]

Sometimes knowing the general area the poster is from helps to see their point of view or at least why they might feel a certain way. It is also interesting to know where it is fucking snowing or -17f or +18c when somebody posts.

Otherwise, a simple chat remark becomes a total waste of reading energy rather than just an exercise in killing time. Time zones enter into the equation too.

But, that is just the perspective of a Californicator north east of Sacramento, near Folsom Prison, dam and lake near the confluence of the Sacramento and American rivers on I80 toward Lake Tahoe and Reno, in that part of the USA that recognizes PST right now..

 

[JustWes]

For me, I think letting people know where I'm from lets them know about the kind of person I am (a small-town gay guy with very good moral values).

And my hometown has a short name, and that works, too.