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How did my first date go?

M

mcbg22

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So I went on a first date with this guy I met on Grindr on Friday. We went to a coffee shop and talked for almost 3 hours. I thought he seemed into me and we had great a great conversation. After, he drove me home and just shook my hand.

I told him I was glad I met him and that I'd like to go out with him again soon. He said the same and that we'd text each other. Later that night, I texted him to tell him I was happy about our date and he replied back saying he was happy too.

I texted him last night to ask him out to a movie today and he said he couldn't because he had to grade papers (he's a teacher) and had dinner with friends. I said, OK, how about sometime this coming week and he said he'd check and get back to me. I thought he was maybe blowing me off but he texted me back asking which movie I wanted to see. I gave him some movie suggestions and asked him what he'd like to see and he still hasn't replied. It's been almost 24 hours. I thought maybe he was just busy but I see on Grindr that he's always online lol.

Am I analyzing this too much? It's my first date in a really long time and I really like this guy. Hopefully I get to see him again.
 
Take things nice and slow. It's easy to get caught up in someone and wanting to be around them a lot when you're first getting to know each other (especially since you haven't dated in a while), but in most cases life can't allow that. Teachers are very busy, and lots of times may feel mentally and physically exhausted at the end of the day, so they may not always be up for chatting or hanging out. Appreciate the times you do get to spend with him, and look forward to the next time you plan to get together with him.

Your first date seemed to go very well; you two seem very interested in one another, and he genuinely seems like he wants to get to know you more. This may or may not lead to a relationship, but it's laying a great foundation for a friendship, which I think is an important and essential first step for any successful relationship.

And if he gets caught up in things and doesn't get in touch with you for a week or two, text him and let him know that you're thinking of him. He may not be intentionally ignoring you.
 
Be a little patient. I know you like him and Grindr puts pressure on everybody. Astare has good points.
 
I would however suggest that if he is not getting back to you after a direct question, and it takes more than a couple of days, then he probably IS blowing you off. My suggestion is to stop texting. After all, if he is as interested in you as you are in him, HE will want to meet you too, right? A lot of the time we freak out about someone we want, and start panicking that if we don't do something, they will slip away, when the truth is THEY should feel the same if a relationship potential exists. So let him text you next, and see how that goes. If he doesn't, you have your answer.
 
Seems like a very nice date. Try your best not to analyze anything- take a date for what it is. A good chat. A nice person.

If he wants to meet you/see you again, he will. You can't really do anything to force that, so why bother worrying about what he wants at this point?

And I was a teacher for a while, and I'm currently dating a teacher. It is a VERY busy job. We only really get dates in once or twice a week if we're lucky (usually Friday/Saturday).

My best advice is to not play the "what if" game. If he doesn't get back to you about a question, he probably doesn't want to go out anymore. Sad, but true.
 
Thanks for the advice guys! He actually just replied tonight and our second date is set for this week. Hopefully it goes well! :)
 
In the future, keep in mind that teachers are usually busy during the week. If he doesn't get back to you in 24 hours, it's probably because he's busy during the week and may not have available time until the weekend.
 
One of my best friends is a teacher. These people are sometimes impossible to get hold of. BUT whenever it's vacation, they go everywhere. So my best advice is, if you're planning to hookup with him anyway, Christmas vacation is coming up; you can be plugged in with him until next year :lol:
 
bruce379 said:
One of my best friends is a teacher. These people are sometimes impossible to get hold of. BUT whenever it's vacation, they go everywhere. So my best advice is, if you're planning to hookup with him anyway, Christmas vacation is coming up; you can be plugged in with him until next year :lol:
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It depends on what and who they teach too. One of my hags teaches High School History and US government [I proudly state that I helped her create lessons for US Government] and she has weird lulls in her schedule. Have another friend who teaches second grade and that is very much a "9-5" job.

I do agree that teachers are much more busy than your typical full-time employed person. However, I personally feel that you should be able to at least text someone within a 24-hour period regardless of your work schedule. Not doing so is just impolite.
 
He's so slow at responding to my texts. I would normally agree that he's busy but I see that he's always online on Grindr lol! Should I be worried?
 
Yes. Not saying it to be an ass, but you should. Being busy is never really a great excuse for sloppy texting. Again, I'd say apply your own feelings on the situation - if he felt as you do, would he be slow to text?
 
Yeah, it's not a good sign. I just looked back on my phone and he used to text me a lot more before our first date and when we talked on Grindr. I dunno why he agreed to go on a second date if he's not into me though. Ugh, this sucks!
 
At that point I'd just dump him. You deserve someone better than that who won't string you along. Move onto someone better.
 
I don't think you can generalize someone's behavior or feelings based on a week or two of texting activity. He's had his first date with you, and knows a second date is confirmed. He doesn't have to work as hard to keep you interested, and really, he shouldn't have to. He knows he's going to see you later in the week and that he'll have a chance to interact with you then; until then, he may hold off on texting or still be on Grindr. So what?

OP, you seem to be bouncing back and forth between excitement and disappointment. Large and rapid mood swings like that will happen when you're infatuated. You have to weather through them and just go with the flow.

See him like you two planned this week, take things as they come, and live in the moment. Don't get your expectations up just yet. If you two don't work out, at least you tried and know you have the ability to get a guy's interest. But if you do work out, that's great! But you'll never know if you bug out after the first date.
 
I believe, it is a possibility that he is a little shocked by your enthusiasm.
It frequently happens to me that I can't handle the level of enthusiasm shown in my direction, because I don't feel the same way. I usually need months, if not years to develop such tendencies towards another person.
Maybe he likes you, but feels nothing "extra".

I think you should just wait and see how things work out. Don't break yourself up over it, don't even think about him.
 
Great advice guys. Can I add you guys to my phone's contacts to be my life coaches lol? I guess since our second date is confirmed, maybe he doesn't feel the need to talk to me as much since we'll be seeing each other. I'll try to keep my expectations in check so that I don't appear too excited.
 
mcbg22 said:
since our second date is confirmed, maybe he doesn't feel the need to talk to me as much
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This is how I usually behave, when I have a confirmed date. Take care, and keep your eyes open though.
 
mcbg22 said:
He's so slow at responding to my texts. I would normally agree that he's busy but I see that he's always online on Grindr lol! Should I be worried?
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don't think too much about it... go on the date and have fun, but you also maybe don't want to start planning your wedding either.

I'll confess to being a little bit of a second date whore -- which is to say, unless the first date was absolutely terrible, I'll generally agree to a second date even if there wasn't much of a "spark" to see if any lack of chemistry was just first date nerves or a real disconnect.
 
I have friends i only talk to on grindr. dont take it so seriously. if he fakes out on your second date, then be worried. otherwise, relax, go with the flow.
 
Also, I know lots of guys who are online on Grindr 24/7, so it doesn't neccesarily mean anything.
 
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