How did my first date go?

[journo25]

I would however suggest that if he is not getting back to you after a direct question, and it takes more than a couple of days, then he probably IS blowing you off. My suggestion is to stop texting. After all, if he is as interested in you as you are in him, HE will want to meet you too, right? A lot of the time we freak out about someone we want, and start panicking that if we don't do something, they will slip away, when the truth is THEY should feel the same if a relationship potential exists. So let him text you next, and see how that goes. If he doesn't, you have your answer.

I agree. Glad to read, in a later post, that a second date has been set up but I do think it's ok to expect that a burgeoning friendship requires some interest and effort from both parties. Texting takes a few seconds, even for busy teachers.

 

[darden]

Also, I know lots of guys who are online on Grindr 24/7, so it doesn't neccesarily mean anything.

I'm not sure exactly how Grindr works, but couldn't it also be that it's just running in the background on his phone?

I remember adam4adam killing my battery life with that.

 

[Rolyo85]

I'm not sure exactly how Grindr works, but couldn't it also be that it's just running in the background on his phone?

I remember adam4adam killing my battery life with that.

Grindr does kill your battery while running in the background, but in order for you to be seen as online, you have to actually be using it.

 

[mcbg22]

Well fuck, I just got a 'I think we should just be friends' text...

 

[darden]

Well fuck, I just got a 'I think we should just be friends' text...

at least you didn't waste your time and energy on a second date, then.

just gives you more time to find someone who's as into you as you are to them.

 

[mcbg22]

at least you didn't waste your time and energy on a second date, then.

just gives you more time to find someone who's as into you as you are to them.

So I shouldn't see him again? I could always use new friends and we got along well. Or maybe it'll take him more than one date to fall in love with me? Would it make me delusional to think that?

 

[darden]

So I shouldn't see him again? I could always use new friends and we got along well. Or maybe it'll take him more than one date to fall in love with me? Would it make me delusional to think that?

if you can legitimately see yourself being friends with the guy and you're 100% OK with never being anything more than a friend (or, lbr since you met on grindr -- a fuck buddy), then go for it.

but I wouldn't waste the time hoping he'll maybe change his mind and fall in love with you someday if he's already saying he's not interested in anything more than a friendship.

 

[Rolyo85]

So I shouldn't see him again? I could always use new friends and we got along well. Or maybe it'll take him more than one date to fall in love with me? Would it make me delusional to think that?

"I see us more as friends" is code for "I'm not romantically interested in you and that will make it awkward to attempt friendship as well, but I'm being polite." They never actually want to be friends.

And if he's said he's not interested, then he's not interested. Don't think of it as a signal to maybe try harder, and just move on.

 

[Disturbance]

So I shouldn't see him again? I could always use new friends and we got along well. Or maybe it'll take him more than one date to fall in love with me? Would it make me delusional to think that?

I think you shouldn't care about him anymore. If he really wants to be friends (which I doubt) he will contact you. If he won't contact you again, he's not interested in you.
I think you should let him go now.

 

[bruce379]

So I shouldn't see him again? I could always use new friends and we got along well. Or maybe it'll take him more than one date to fall in love with me? Would it make me delusional to think that?

He is probably politely saying that he is not romantically interested at this point. He is open to the possibility of being friends. Then take him as a friend but don't expect more and don't try to pursue something more. If he wants to hook up with you, then well and good, have good sex with him. Let him make the next moves. You probably want to see him again which is understandable. Is sex in the cards? who knows.

Take him as friend because good friends are hard to come by but don't expect more unless he himself wants more out of this.

 

[altlover85]

OP, I'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out. At least he didn't string you along though. Ultimately, I would probably just move on from this guy, but if you want something else like friends with benefits, I would advise caution.

He is probably politely saying that he is not romantically interested at this point. He is open to the possibility of being friends. Then take him as a friend but don't expect more and don't try to pursue something more. If he wants to hook up with you, then well and good, have good sex with him. Let him make the next moves. You probably want to see him again which is understandable. Is sex in the cards? who knows.

Take him as friend because good friends are hard to come by but don't expect more unless he himself wants more out of this.

I would suggest not having sex with him unless you feel that you are okay with it just being sexual. It's not to say that a friendship couldn't develop, but when you add sex into the mix and there are already feelings on one end, it's not always the best idea.

 

[orton86]

Damn, I'm sorry.

Unfortunately, I've been in this situation before. We had a long successful first date, but then his texts were very few and far between.

He was probably seeing who else was out there when he wasn't texting you back.

Fortunately, there will be other guys you will meet for coffee. It's the game of dating!

PS DO NOT REMAIN FRIENDS WITH HIM. You will be waiting for him to change his mind, but he'll just view you as a friend. It's just a horrible position to be in.