How did things get so complicated???

[hotlatinchulo348]

Hi guys. Well, I don't know if any of you read my previous posts but I will summarize. Basically I had sex for the first time with this guy I started talking to over Spring Break. We had a few wild nights but then that stopped when I found out that he had a boyfriend. We couldn't really take things any further anyway because I am still figuring myself out and experimenting. I don't really want to make it official that I am bi yet. Anyway, that guy turned out to be a real douche for various reasons anyway and we promised to stay friends but we don't even talk anymore. Anyway, the last time I saw him he introduced me to his boyfriend (who was very cute I might add.) For some reason I added him on myspace and we started talking a lot and flirting. Eventually this led to texting and then last night he called me. It was crazy how quickly things got out of hand and we ended up having phone sex. Now he wants me to visit him this weekend at his apartment because his roommate is going to be gone. I really have no idea what's up and down anymore and I am afraid that I am being played. Some advice please???

 

[hotexbot]

i would not go, could lead to bigger problems. you are to young and inexperienced to get involved in something like this.

 

[Bruski-101]

Such is life but one question are you a pisces

 

[G-Lexington]

Are you being played? Of course. But it sounds like you enjoy the game. If you want to keep it going, keep playing.

Lex

 

[seanystarr]

have some fun dude!!!!

 

[EvilForce]

Don't hate the playa hate the game. You are playing it every bit as much as the guy you said was playing games. Dramarific.

 

[Kyanimal]

Most of our regrets come from the things we DIDN'T Do! Trust me one that one!

Some thoughts, though ...

You are not responsible for Their relationship! However, since you've already "done" the other guy ... and he finds out you've been "playing" with his boyfriend ... do you think he might "flip out" on You for the "double betrayal"?? Could You handle that/him?

Does boyfriend know that You were "with" his bf? And, if not, will He "flip out" when he finds out? Would that matter?

This seems like a perfect opportunity to get to "play" with a cute Guy! Do You want to pass that up? And, yes!, I'm sure He knows what He's asking for!

Once they compare notes, if they ever do, You might end up with both of them, even at the same time. Would You be up for that?

Once they compare notes, one, or the other, or both, might be out to get You (And, I don't mean in a good way!), even if each of them "started" it with You. Could you handle that?

Are You looking for a possible relationship, or just out for a Good Time?

Personally ... I've had similar "opportunities". Some I acted on, and some I didn't, because of the nature of the "others" involved. Without "Us" knowing You, or them, You are the only one that can make those decisions!

In any case ... and no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[hotlatinchulo348]

Thank you guys soooo much. Talking about this really helps me to think about it and I take everyone's advice into consideration. Believe me. Here is the update. The cute boyfriend that I talked to last night called me earlier today again. We just started talking about a lot of stuff and it seems we have a lot in common. Then he starts to mention his boyfriend and how they fight all the time and how opposite they are and how much he dislikes him sometimes. I'm not stupid. I know that he is saying these things to get some sort of reaction out of me but all I keep saying is "That's not good, etc.." Nothing much really. I don't want to talk crap about the other guy at all.

Anyway, from this spawned a very uncomfertable subject. He started talking about how his boyfriend (the guy I had been with) and how he flaunts about all the guys he has hooked up with. Then he asks me "Have you ever hooked up with _____?" Oh crap. I didn't know whether to lie or to tell the truth. The part of me that wanted to lie didn't want to break up their relationship and the part of me that wanted to tell the truth just wanted to be honest because I like him. So I lied. Unfortunately that backfired because ______ told his boyfriend that we did hook up. Dammit! Then my phone died. Lol. So now I don't know what to say, how truthful to be, or what to expect. I really don't want to ruin anything between them but I also don't want to be hated by both because they both are the only one's that know about my sexuality. Ugh!!!

 

[KaraBulut]

These guys are big game players. You've now joined the game.

Go rent "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" and you'll see where you're at. Put a stop to this game.

If you want to stop playing, drop these dysfunctional guys. Delete them from myspace. Delete their phone number from your address book. Block their calls.

If you want to keep playing until someone gets hurt, well that's your choice.

 

[G-Lexington]

Quit the soap opera, and find some less interesting people to hang out with.

Lex

 

[trawler69]

Lies will always catch up with you and some sooner than others.

 

[tallguy297]

Hey hotlatinchulo348,

Mate... sometimes you've got to think past the short term and look at the big picture.

This guy is in a relationship. Now if hes not happy then thats his problem and he needs to sort it out. You can sympathize all you like because you might understand what hes going through but any more than that is a recipe for getting beaten up again yourself. Its not your problem to solve for him.

And in an effort to find out where you are at , not only has he already caught you out lying hes maneuvering you in to a position to use you to either cheat or end his relationship... neither of which say too many good things about his character.

So ask yourself... what possible benefit do I have being associated with a douche... and a user? I dont think you like being used or being forced to lie... and do far you've heading for both over and over again.

You're better off a long way away from them because the short term fun that you might have will be a constant pain in the long run mate. And you deserve better than that!

 

[EvilForce]

Thank you guys soooo much. Talking about this really helps me to think about it and I take everyone's advice into consideration. Believe me. Here is the update. The cute boyfriend that I talked to last night called me earlier today again. We just started talking about a lot of stuff and it seems we have a lot in common. Then he starts to mention his boyfriend and how they fight all the time and how opposite they are and how much he dislikes him sometimes. I'm not stupid. I know that he is saying these things to get some sort of reaction out of me but all I keep saying is "That's not good, etc.." Nothing much really. I don't want to talk crap about the other guy at all.

Anyway, from this spawned a very uncomfertable subject. He started talking about how his boyfriend (the guy I had been with) and how he flaunts about all the guys he has hooked up with. Then he asks me "Have you ever hooked up with _____?" Oh crap. I didn't know whether to lie or to tell the truth. The part of me that wanted to lie didn't want to break up their relationship and the part of me that wanted to tell the truth just wanted to be honest because I like him. So I lied. Unfortunately that backfired because ______ told his boyfriend that we did hook up. Dammit! Then my phone died. Lol. So now I don't know what to say, how truthful to be, or what to expect. I really don't want to ruin anything between them but I also don't want to be hated by both because they both are the only one's that know about my sexuality. Ugh!!!

Of course you lied. He knew the truth, you lied. He was testing you and you failed. Shady people do shady things. You're shady.

So now you should hope that these two aren't vindictive and decide to out you to the world and all your friends as a gay, homewrecking, whore. Karma has a strange way of working, and working pretty quickly. So IMHO you should 'fess up, and apologize for your shadiness. From my experience, shady people instead just go mute/underground/silent and hope it blows over, only to repeat the same behavior again later. Then bemoan why their lives are filled with so much drama. The choice is yours. Own up to it, apologize, and learn from it, or repeat the same mistake again in the future.

I'm not trying to bust your balls. Just think how you would feel if you were in the other person's position and found out your boyfriend was cheating? Do unto others how you want people to do unto you, and all that jazz.

 

[rareboy]

You sooooooooo deserve everything that may come to you with this.

 

[hotlatinchulo348]

Okay, here is the latest update. I really really really like this guy. I looked at my options and said what the hell. He told me that hates liars so I told him the truth. The way I led up to it really scared him because i asked him not to hate me for what I was about to tell him. Anyway, I guess I made the right decision because they hadn't started going out until after my fling with his boyfriend and he told me that he valued my honesty about it and told me that he likes me more for that. He really wants to break up with his boyfriend and I told him that nothing could happen between us until he did. Sooo...happy ending? lets hope so.

 

[MindBlast]

Such is life but one question are you a pisces

lolastrology.


To the OP, based on your last post, you're doing the right thing. Truth and honesty always have gotten me much more in life than lies.

 

[KaraBulut]

happy ending?

No, just another episode in the drama.

And these things seldom have happy endings for anyone. Karma always wins in the end.