How did your parents react to you coming out?

[willsboy84]

My mom claimed she had no idea, despite all the little quips she made at me growing up. Once when I was sweeping up the kitchen, she told me that I was "holding the broom like a faggot". I think the only reason she's as "accepting" as she is, is because I take care of her.

Never officially came out to my dad. Last time I laid eyes on him was 15 years or so ago. He'd heard through the grapevine that I was "messing with boys", and ended up moving out of state without a word.

 

[doctorsun]

I told my mother in a letter when I was 17. She responded in a letter. She said it didn't matter to her and that she always knew. It's not something we ever discuss, though. That's just me being really weird about anything personal. Plus, I've never had a boyfriend or even been on a date, so me being gay is really a non-issue.

I never told my father. He died four years ago. He had to have known, though. When I was a kid, my favorite show was Jem and I even put on my sister's dress once and pretended to BE Jem. That has to at least arouse suspicions in any father.

 

[MMMonsterBoy]

My mom has no confirmation, but like someone else said a mother always knows. When my ex used to come around she asked if he and I were dating. She asks why I don't have a girlfriend. I know my mom is waiting for me to come out, and she even said that if her children were gay she'd want to know. She's also said, 'I'd be heartbroken if one of my children were gay,' 'being gay is one of the worst things my children could be,' and 'being gay goes against everything I stand for.' When I was choosing universities last year she didn't want me going to ones that had a GSA, but I explained virtually every campus has one...My mom has nearly found out numerous of times, but she's become a master at that whole repressing thing. The closest time had her having mental breakdowns throughout the day, not speaking to me, claiming she messed up in raising me, and some other crap I tuned out. Some words I do remember 'You're my son I will love you no matter what, but I'm just worried what other people are going to think about you.' Looking back I wish I had come out....but I was barely comfortable then! Now I'm just waiting for the right time. She'll cry again, probably beg me to be straight (she fantasizes over my future wife and future grandkids), and most likely go off the deep end...but I'll probably shrug it off...

 

[kguy3387]

My mom's reaction was, "oh, i though you might be, but then i wasn't so sure, so now i'm a little surprised. ok, now i'm adjusted. don't tell your step-dad because he's way too open about these things and you never know who he'll tell"

My dad's reaction was expressed through my step mom as: "don't tell your grandma or uncles, but please invite your boyfriend to christmas, easter, and thanksgiving. i like him" he still won't verbally acknowledge it, but gives my boyfriend long lost family hugs when he sees him.

i have very strange parents.

 

[BearBoi]

Mom hugged me and said she loved me and was proud of me. Dad was like, "Really? huh." and went back to watching TV.

Anticlimactic, I know.

 

[RationalLunacy]

I was forced out of the closet when I was disfellowshipped (excommunicated) by my religion of choice, Jehovah's Witnesses, for being gay.

Both of my parents said precisely the same thing to me:
"I'd rather have a gay son than a Jehovah's Witness son."

 

[morgaes]

My parents were the last to know, even my father's sisters knew when I finally told them. I'd been pretty much out for a while when I told them - I hadn't attempted to hide it in the least for quite some time but they never suspected a thing and thus never asked (and I was trying to avoid the whole awkward "I've got to tell you something" moment".

I ended up telling my dad while he was driving me from one party to another (so I was a bit drunk). At first he said nothing but then he asked "So you think that?" and I replied "No, I know so." A short pause and then he said that he loved me no matter what and that I'm just me, always have been and that I'm gay is just a part of that and doesn't bother him the least.

The next day my mum came into my room and told me that dad had told her. She was also okay with it, but she did ask "Are you really sure?" and when I'd convinced her she got a bit paranoid (but that's just how she is) and started asking if I'd had sex yet and with whom. I'd actually lost count by that time so I just said "er... yes, once" haha.

Neither of them had any idea - they were completely oblivious! I find it funny 'cause even though I don't think anyone would ever say that I'm "stereotypically gay" or "obviously gay" but most of the people who knew me well, even though they didn't suspect already were not at all surprised and my close friends had just been waiting for me to tell them.

Anyways, after that it wasn't really discussed at all at home but I didn't instigate it either. Mostly because I don't really talk all that much to my parents but I knew they supported me and that was great. They even surprised me by showing up at last years Pride Parade (year and a half after I'd come out to them) and it made me happier than I thought it would.


I'm sorry to hear about your relationship with your parents, DominoHarvey. They say that "good wombs hath born bad sons" but it's clear that also "hath bad wombs borne good sons"

 

[justaguy4224]

Why is it we always go to mother first if we have something to say

 

[MMMonsterBoy]

My mom has no confirmation, but like someone else said a mother always knows. When my ex used to come around she asked if he and I were dating. She asks why I don't have a girlfriend. I know my mom is waiting for me to come out, and she even said that if her children were gay she'd want to know. She's also said, 'I'd be heartbroken if one of my children were gay,' 'being gay is one of the worst things my children could be,' and 'being gay goes against everything I stand for.' When I was choosing universities last year she didn't want me going to ones that had a GSA, but I explained virtually every campus has one...My mom has nearly found out numerous of times, but she's become a master at that whole repressing thing. The closest time had her having mental breakdowns throughout the day, not speaking to me, claiming she messed up in raising me, and some other crap I tuned out. Some words I do remember 'You're my son I will love you no matter what, but I'm just worried what other people are going to think about you.' Looking back I wish I had come out....but I was barely comfortable then! Now I'm just waiting for the right time. She'll cry again, probably beg me to be straight (she fantasizes over my future wife and future grandkids), and most likely go off the deep end...but I'll probably shrug it off...

This seems so dated now I think I came out to my mom several months after this. She had been annoying me all day about when I was going to bring home a girlfriend. A few times my mom would ask if I were gay, but I would say no. Then finally, after I got out the shower, I told her I was gay.

"Are you sure?"
"Maybe you're just going through something. I know people who used to be gay, but later realized they were straight."
"Your grandmother is going to be so upset."
"I'm embarrassed."
"Where did I go wrong?"
"It's not natural."

Of course, I got the standard 'you're my son, I will always love you.' Though the first months or so were pretty rough. We fought constantly about it, and it got somewhat violent. Things have kind of changed, but that's because we don't really talk about it. Her denialism is still present. Even though she was aware I had a boyfriend, she still thinks it is a phase. She still asks when will I bring a girl home...

My mom is mostly concerned what other people would say. If everyone around her would be more than okay with it, my mom would feel more comfortable about the idea. Other than her, only my big sister knows I'm gay, and she doesn't really approve - but knows that's just the way it is. She's been supportive, but that's because I am not her son